Voice Testing Canon Cross Ange

[crotchange]

Are you serious about that user name? Are you really? Because it's not funny. Not at all. It's not like I do it on purpose, those were all accidents!

[You still like those accidents.]

That's besides the point! Do you know how irritated Ange will be if she sees that? Actually, she'd be mad and she'd hit me, or tie me up, or both.

[And when she finds out you told Embryo how many moles she has on her inner thigh, you think the user name will matter?]

W-Well that's....

Comments

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

...I'd ask if you had something to share with the class, but...

[Clearly this is something that is best left alone, unless he wants to be implicated as a cohort in this privacy invasion.]

[crotchange]

[He has many things he'd like to share just to brag, but then Ange is his girlfriend, and Ange wouldn't appreciate such things. And Tusk likes being alive.]

T-There's nothing to talk about...

[Whipped? Maybe. Terrified? Absolutely.]

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

[...just going to nod at that and leave it be for now. Maybe when he's not looking at risk of an internal breakdown, he'll pry, but as is...] ...for what it's worth, whoever you're fretting over's not here.

[Yet.]

[crotchange]

There's really nothing to talk about!

[Nothing at all.]

But, you're right. As long as Ange doesn't find out, I think I'll be fine. But just in case, maybe I should hide somewhere for the time being.

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

I got the message the first time. [Geez, no need to repeat yourself, pal. Or be agitated when he isn't even digging further into that...

...speaking of things to look into--maybe he should keep him from doing anything really stupid. Like hiding in a place where it's probably nearly impossible to hide.]

...Ah--I don't think this is a good place for staying out of sight.

[crotchange]

You're right, and actually, hiding from Ange might be a really bad idea.

[A really, really bad one.]

Maybe I could play dumb?

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

...Hmm.

[Just from looking at the guy, it doesn't seem like he can put up a decent act to cover for his own rump. He could be wrong, though.]

Might be for the better if you don't want to get verbally skinned. Or worse.

[crotchange]

[Verbally skinned?]

Do you mean...!!...Do you mean I have a chance to get away with just being yelled at?!

[There is a light at the end of the tunnel.]

Please, teach me how!

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

Yes, but...that depends on how you answer my question.

How well can you act?

[>...

> Suddenly he feels like he just dropped a bomb on this poor guy's head...]

[crotchange]

[He has found hope, don't take it away.]

...Act?

[He'll take away his own hope.]

....Please teach me how.

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

[Unfortunately this idiot can either bring it or rip it out, even if he has the best of intentions...

Still...hoo boy.]



...Right, I'll try to keep the lesson short and simple.

[> He takes a deep breath and prays this won't suddenly backfire on either of them...]

All you really need to do is pretend. But the most important part in pretending is how you carry yourself.

[crotchange]

Pretend?

[A beat.]

Ah, so it's like a game then?

[This fool already has half his body in the grave.]

[alwayscross]

...

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

[> ...He has an inordinately bad feeling going up his spine, all of a sudden. But was it from the way he worded it, or the person in front of him? He's not sure...]



...Er. Something like that...

The 'game', in this case, is how well you can keep yourself from being twitchy. And how well you can make eye contact.

1/2

[crotchange]

A-Ange!

[So just how fast can he go back to where Embryo was keeping his real body?]

2/2

[crotchange]

H-How are you doing?

[He wonders if anyone will buy a grave for him?]

[crotchange]

[He will play pretend as if he were Vivian. His life and other body parts depend on it.]

Eye contact? So should I avoid it?

["We are gathered here today to remember Tusk..."]

[alwayscross]

I hope you're prepared.

[alwayscross]

Because I am.

[ Did you know Cafe Ange has a wide collection of extremely pointy objects? ]

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

No. You want as much eye contact as possible.

[> That morbid feeling is changing...

> You are now beginning to worry for his chances at surviving any encounter with this 'Ange' person.]

[crotchange]

[Lord have mercy on his soul, because his girlfriend will not.]

Ange, please calm down! I can explain-!

[He wonders if he can out run Ange. Actually, forget wondering, he just goes and does it. Better move Ange, you got a runner.]

[alwayscross]

You get your ass back here, Tusk!

[ The ring on her hand glows, and she's on Vilkiss, flying after the poor man. Proportionate punishment? What's that? No, just swift and sure. ]

[crotchange]

Vilkiss?! Are you serious?!

[The action alone proves that he can outrun Ange, but now he'll test if he can outrun a Ragna-mail. If that thing turns blue though, he might as well just tie a noose around his neck.]

Ange that's too much!

[He survived blowing himself up, he can survive this right? Right?]

[crotchange]

Oh. I see.

[It's almost like psyching out an enemy in combat.]

So like this?

[He scrunches up his face as if he were about to fight someone. He thinks he's getting the hang of it.]

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

[> ...You give him a steady look before realizing that this is likely going to cause trouble. (Not that it helps later...)]



...Mostly right. There's just one tiny issue...your expression.

[> You begin to worry more, as you lack any means to show him the issue at hand, like a mirror...]

[alwayscross]

[ Ange was fit, but she wasn't some crazy explosion-outrunning ninja. ]

Of course I'm serious! Maybe you should have thought of that before doing that?!

[ Of course she was mad. In fact, she was mad enough that she might just try nailing Tusk with a cryo-bullet. ]

[crotchange]

It wasn't me! It was Embryo, I swear!

[He's not exactly lying, but it's not the exact truth either.]

I did it for you!

[And he will realize how that last line was a very bad move in a few minutes.]

[crotchange]

Eh? Really?

[Okay maybe not exactly like combat.]

Then what expression should I have?

[alwayscross]

So you're admitting to it then? Do you have any last words, Tusk?

[ She may be cocking her rifle right about now. Not hers, Vilkiss'. In fact, she may be pointing it at Tusk, too. ]

I'm a nice person, so I'll let you have one final wish, too.

[crotchange]

[He was confused at how this was part of her being a "nice" person. But then he realized she gave him a warning, AND a last wish. Ange must have been having a nice day until she found him.

He starts to slow down, thinking about his options and there's one option that could just save him. Or doom him, which is nothing new considering the situation so he'll take his chances.]

Ange...

[He comes to a stop and turns to face her, like a powerful oak against a raging storm.]

I love you.

[He outran an explosion, could he out run rifle shots?]

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

[> ...How do you explain this without a mirror--oh, wait, you've got this. You think.]

Something less...tense. You looked like you were going to punch someone just now.

[alwayscross]

Tusk.

[ Ange smiles like an angel. Unfortunately it's an angel of death. ]

Don't think you can get away with some sweet-talk now!

[ There's a burst of rifle fire going straight at Tusk!

Well, it'll miss even if he stands still, but just barely. Barely. ]

[crotchange]

....

[A beat.]

This is really hard.

[crotchange]

[He had a feeling that wouldn't work. He panics and instinctively ducks the moment he hears the rifle goes off.]

That's cruel, Ange! What if it actually hit me?!

[And he's back to running, though even he has to run out of stamina eventually.]

Can't we talk about this like a normal couple!

[alwayscross]

You wouldn't die even if you got killed anyway, you damn ninja!

[ But at least she's stopped shooting now. Your queen is a merciful queen. ]

Change it. Change it right now.

[crotchange]

[His queen will be the death of him.]

Ehhhhh??

[He's not sure if he should feel flattered or worried that she thinks that. Though he knows he's partly to blame. "Ange's knight is invincible". He suddenly feels really dumb.]

If I could I would have done that already!

[alwayscross]

[ Honestly though, Ange wouldn't really try to kill Tusk. He's not supposed to know that, just to keep the fear of God in him, but she really wouldn't. That's not to say there aren't other punishments she can come up with. ]

Right then, Tusk. You're stuck on Momoka duty for the rest of the week. [ It's like being exiled to the couch, except the "couch" is Momoka's room. And Momoka joins Ange in the master bedroom. And Ange isn't letting Tusk near their wardrobe, so he'll have to make do with whatever Momoka has. ]

[the_tv_is_a_lie]

To be fair, while I did say it was simple, I didn't say it'd be easy to do...