The Aftereffects of Marathoning a Show in One Day

[funkyflow]

Hey, no! Uh, you shouldn't be sad. I can keep you company!

Or, they can! [ Steven gestures at the Dear Mun community. ] See? There's nothing to be upset about! Um...

[ He turns to a nearby character. ] Hey! I need help! This player needs cheering up!

Comments

[funkyflow]

My player's sad and I don't know how to fix him! Can you help?

[ SADIE MUST HAVE AN ANSWER, RIGHT? ]

[eyesforward]

Uhh—!

[THE PRESSURE. Why, Steven, why.]

W-well, I mean, I don't even know him! How should I know what I can do to cheer him up?? What's he sad about?

[funkyflow]

I'm not really sure! He kinda just got that way after he ran out of new episodes.

... You don't know a game I could go to, do you?

[eyesforward]

—Oh! Sheesh, I thought it was something serious. I think that's pretty typical. My player's been having like a month long tantrum! ...Ha...

And anyway, probably most, to be honest! A ton of games don't really have people from Beach City!

—Though I wouldn't wish any of that stuff on you. It can get pretty bad, depending on your player's taste.

[funkyflow]

Well, at least there's new episodes this week, right? Makes it a little better for them!

... really? How bad is pretty bad? Like... really bad?

[eyesforward]

Right! But they're—well—ha, it's kind of awkward to just say it like this, I guess, but I'm their favorite character, and they're pretty steamed I haven't been around beyond a cameo capacity in like... 20 episodes, I guess? But I'm enjoying the break personally, so hey!

And...umm, yeah, I'd say really bad. Like, some games are downright gross, and I'm being sent to some place that's like... well, just terrible. I'm gonna turn into some kinda monster, like everyone else there has, and it's gonna be painful and cruddy.

Kind of ironic in a mean, specific way, too, since I'm really into classic b-list horror movie stuff.

But...yeah. People— [Sadie pauses, not wanting to get too grim on the subject with Steven of all people... She doesn't wanna say she's gonna have to, you know, potentially eat people alive and stuff. Maybe she still kinda over coddles him, but Sadie doesn't want to distress him unnecessarily.] ...get really hurt and stuff at this place, you know? It's just bad.

[funkyflow]

Oh, you're right! I hope you get another episode soon. Besides, you're probably having tons of adventures at the donut shop with Lars, right? We're just not around to see it!

I think one of the other characters in my player's head goes there! She's a minotaur or something. Wow. Are you gonna be okay?

[eyesforward]

...Eh, I wouldn't call it adventure. It's honestly pretty boring. You're usually the highlight of my day, Steven!

Ohh, yeah? A couple of the Crystal Gems are there, I think... One of them is a minotaur, too. And I mean—that's—hard to say! I can't really tell the future. [Sadie knows it's gonna be terrible, and she won't be okay, but what choice does she really have? She can't just let it unravel her.] I'm sure I'll stick it out alright.

[funkyflow]

Well... just don't let your player do anything too terrible, okay? It sounds kinda scary.

[eyesforward]

Scary is unfortunately pretty mandatory...

But I don't think they're gonna do anything like—extra bad to me.

[funkyflow]

But... that's not fair! You're not even a gem!

[eyesforward]

Well, I mean, I guess it's kinda messed up, but I'll probably get a long stronger once I start turning into a monster! So at least there's that. It's not like I won't be able to defend myself.

[funkyflow]

Hey, I guess so! You can hide under people's beds and steal all their snacks!

Just don't scare them... too much, okay?

[eyesforward]

... I dunno what kinda monster that would be. And stealing snacks is kinda mean!

[Sadie pauses kind of balefully when Steven requests that she doesn't scare anyone too bad, and she purses her lip awkwardly, trying to bury the thought that, again, she's probably going to be. You know, straight up killing people. Definitely, in fact!]

O-oh, no, I won't.

I don't...

I mean, I don't...actually wanna hurt anybody...

[funkyflow]

That... you can, right? I mean... you don't have to? [ He's a bit blissfully ignorant about some of Ryslig's finer points. ] Sadie... ?

[eyesforward]

[Sadie blinks, seeming to get a hold of herself, and she smiles in a way that is—er, mildly strained, but Sadie's a pretty good liar, if nothing else. Not that that's really a good thing, but it serves her well enough.]

Oh! No, no, definitely not. I mean, I guess, depending on what I turn into—I guess I'm a little worried I could hurt someone on accident. New anatomy and stuff. [NERVOUS LAUGH] I heard that sometimes monsters accidentally hurt each other when they're getting used to their changes.

[funkyflow]

Oh! Well... accidents happen, you know? Like this one time where Amethyst and I were chasing each other around the house and she ended up knocking the fridge over!

[ The whole fridge. Steven how does that happen. ]

Pearl had to pick it all up, but she said she'd been meaning to clean out the fridge anyway. Things work out, you know?

[eyesforward]

...Yeah. They definitely do. I mean, I know I'll find a way to be okay, one way or another. And it's not like I'm gonna be alone.

[funkyflow]

Right! You'll have lots of people there with you -- like me, and the gems -- and Lars!

You've gotta meet my player's character there, too! She looks kinda scary, but she seems really nice.

[eyesforward]

Yeah!! I'd like to! To be honest, I could probably benefit from having some female company in my life. Boys are getting kinda exhausting.

[funkyflow]

Haha, I don't think there's a lot of girl minotaurs there, but I'll bet she's one of the best ones.

... and, hey, if you need anything, find me there, okay? [ He gives Sadie a hug. Because her reassuring aside, this does all seem scary. ]

[eyesforward]

Yep, you bet! [Sadie returns the hug, honestly feeling comforted by it—so good job, Steven! Of course, she's going to intend to keep a stiff upper lip specifically for Steven's sake. And Lars's...

But for now, she just gives Steven a warm squeeze.] I at least know I can't be too unhappy with you around.

[funkyflow]

Yeah! Between you, me, and Lars, I'll bet it'll be pretty fun! Just like when we went camping!

[eyesforward]

[Steven, you sweet Summer child.]

...Eventually, maybe. It's gonna be a long time before Lars can have any fun in those circumstances, I think. You know how he is.

[And, of course, Ryslig is totally an actual legitimate bummer, so she's not gonna fault him for it.]

[funkyflow]

Yeah, I guess you're right. Me and you'll just have to help him out, you know?