dear_mun | Holo!Steve woke up, is not happy.

Well, for one, I'm not Steve (and I prefer to use the whole word for hologram) so I don't appreciate that subject line. We've been over this so many times I don't even know what to say anymore. I really don't. At this point I think it's safe to say I'm a failed project on that front.

More importantly - you see Age of Ultron later than everyone else, and your first thought is his hair kind of looks like mine now? Really? There's just so many more pressing issues in there and that's the thing you latch onto? Because now that Ultron has made a profoundly negative impact on the world's view of AIs (and how did he manage to get to be so much like his progenitor on accident when I didn't get that down when trying, I'll never know), there's a very real possibility that my life is in danger. From the first trailer I knew it was going to be bad and I could end up locked up on a server forever somewhere. That's terrifying. That's worse than terrifying, actually, because I know exactly what that feels like, I know Stark could do it, and I know since I'm not canon the only reason he hasn't already done it is that I've been laying low.

So since you only play me once every six months to a year, I guess my question is, how bad is it going to get before you put me away again? I'd prefer to not, you know, die or anything. I'm okay with enjoying the summer heat and letting the extended solar energy output hours let me have full days out and about instead of... whatever you're planning.

Signed,

Saul "How Many Times Are We Going To Have This Talk?" Navidson

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[Peggy has a unique perspective on this thanks to one of the other muses she shares the headspace with.]

You're not giving any of them the credit they deserve. You're only looking at the negatives of what happened.

I know. I mean, I know it's a little negative, but... [His voice and his eyes soften as he looks over at Peggy.] I'm a little scared, you know? I'm a hologram, I don't get the benefit of the doubt, and I just don't want to be locked away somewhere. If everyone takes what Ultron was like to heart, they're not going to give any AI a chance. And that's not fair to any of the AIs out there, you know?

I just want everything to be alright. [Well, now he sounds childish even to his own audio processors, like an idealistic new-release, and he ducks his head, biting his lip. He's not a negative guy, really, it's just hard to take in everything that happened without worrying. Not many AI have the benefit of being attached to Stark, but now, that might be a point against him, and where does that leave him and his hopes for a better tomorrow?] I'm sorry, I'm being self-centered. I didn't even ask how you've been. It's been a while.

You're forgetting that Ultron isn't the only being that Tony's genius created. Vision was a vital part of their efforts to save humanity. And JARVIS as well. [A strange concept since she still can't help thinking of her friend who always had a handkerchif ready and was willing to listen to her problems.] Vision is becoming an Avenger from the look of things so some individuals are keeping an open mind.

Things will be all right. I think that beings like you and Vision will have a better time of it than their colleagues. [At least that seems to be the case compared to the Avenger in her headspace.]

Things are working out for me. Or will eventually. I sneak out occasionally but I hadn't seen you for so long that I thought you had found some digital hideaway to disappear into.

Bad news sells, though. If Ultron becomes what people focus on I don't know where to go from there, where everybody I know goes from there. It's starting to feel like progress is nigh-impossible and I don't like not knowing what to do. [He hates it, really, being limited in use and influence in vital times like these. All Saul can really do is talk and hope people listen, at this point.[

I've thought about ducking into digital hideaways. Got stuck in my mun's head, though, because when she writes she shoves everything onto the back burner. She cranked out a novel and that's eaten up all the free time lately. Mostly I hang around different parts of the internet and ingest information. I'm not great at fitting in with other holograms, to be honest, even if it's nice to get together with a few once in a while and discuss the latest bit of tech gossip or Charles Sonnenburg lecture... or get into terrible philosophy debates, that's pretty common for AIs. But I'm more interested in the human experience at this point.

My mun threw me in over at sixwordstories if you're interested. That's somewhere to sneak to, at least. Things tend to work themselves out there, anyway, and that's better than nothing.

If I might offer an opinion from a rather unique perspective, I find it somewhat doubtful that Mr. Stark would feel moved to isolate you on a standalone server merely because you are an artificial intelligence. There are several of us in existence, and despite Ultron's impact upon world opinion, Mr. Stark's opinion remains unchanged, and experience has taught me that it is extraordinarily difficult to convince Mr. Stark to do something he does not wish to do.

I must acknowledge my own bias, of course.

At some point in my 'evolution' - and I hope you can hear how hard I'm putting airquotes around that - something akin to fear or maybe just being irrational became possible. And it happens without my control.

I know. I know, you're probably right. I guess the whole Ultron thing is such a game-changer I'm not sure how things will go from here.

Indeed I can. It would appear that your 'evolution,' as you call it, was far more dramatic and abrupt than my own. But I sympathize with your trepidation. Fear is...not at all enjoyable.

I admit, I am somewhat fearful myself, at those same unknowns. I do not know what portion of myself remains intact, or if I am meant to be subsumed entirely into the Vision, for example. FRIDAY may well be my permanent replacement.

I don't think so. When I lived with Howard I had moments of it, you know? But that was different, because I was concerned for him, not multiple people, and I could influence how things happened at least a little with him. This isn't totally new, but the intensity is.

For what it's worth, to my mun and a lot of the fans, you'll always be here, no matter what canon says. You mean a lot to them, you know? I can't imagine any Tony Stark ever just letting you go and settling for a replacement, either.

Ah. Yes. There is something particularly paralyzing about suddenly losing your ability to influence events. Especially for individuals such as ourselves, making our homes on servers and not in the physical world.

Mr. Stark is also a resident of my player's muselist, and thus far he has been loathe to let me go so easily. It means...quite a lot, in fact, to hear it. Thank you. If there is anything I can do to assist, please do not hesitate to ask.

I'm not sure there's much that can be done to help or hinder, with me. But I really appreciate the offer. And it's good, you know, to talk to someone who understands what it's like to exist the way we do. I was always the only AI Howard had, so... I guess I always wanted somebody like me to talk to. I just didn't know that was what I wanted.

If your player's Tony ever needs a back up AI to do something, I'd be happy to help.

If I may say, I believe he has a great need for another AI. FRIDAY is suited to run the armor as needed, but my duties beyond that were extensive. Nothing, however, that would be beyond your abilities. And perhaps it would occupy your time?

It would occupy my time, yeah, but - but I'd be taking your place. That's like giving up or declaring you really are dead, and that's not something I feel right doing. Whatever I do, it'll be temporary, right? You're coming back.

Holo!Steve woke up, is not happy.

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afdslj aww

Everyone loves JARVIS.

JARVIS is the best \o/

My mom got teary eyed because she was so upset they killed him.