haise sasaki | tokyo ghoul:re

[fallaxpersona]

...I don't think putting me in another one of those games is really going to solve anything, miss mun.

[ A sigh and Haise offers a small smile, running a hand through his hair in an almost nervous gesture. ]

Showing off 'that' part of me doesn't seem like it's going to get me friends so... can't we be reasonable? I'm sure if you're calm, you may be able to find a new game but you can't rush it.

[ He's not happy because his wonderful mun decided to 'show' off that ugly side of him and you know that shows a bad impression of him. Being a good role model to others is what he wants and there's more to him than the voice that speaks to him, hissing words like poison into his ear constantly.

Losing control isn't an option with what's at stake, honestly. ]

Just remain level-headed. Finding a place shouldn't be too hard, I know it.

Comments

[kickedintoorbit]

Sounds like your mun likes to jump right into things. [A trait that Mystra just so happens to have as well.]

Want to trade? You'd have someone who gets cold feet instead. [She smiles to try and show that the whole "trade" thing was merely a joke.]

[fallaxpersona]

Haha, yeah. That's essentially it. She's kind of impulsive, you could say.

[ A laugh and a nod, and Haise is wearing a smile by now. He really doesn't mind, but this time it's getting a bit overboard. ]

Not a bad idea but I don't think my mun would forgive me.

[ He's also joking too thankfully ]

[kickedintoorbit]

Well, I hope she doesn't get you into too much trouble. [A beat.] But if she does, I hope it's the fun kind at least! [There's a mischievous glint in her eyes now, and a grin to match.]

Neither would mine! She'd do everything in her power to drag me back into my hole. [Granted, it's a rather spacious hole, but it's still a hole.]

[fallaxpersona]

Aah... well I can't really make any promises but... she is reasonable and I know she wouldn't do anything too crazy. I hope.

[ This girl is full of energy and it's hard to stay remotely upset when she looks like that so of course Haise's mood is considerably remaining uplifted. ]

Likewise. My mun seems attached to me as well so there's that to consider and she's not a bad person besides being impulsive and all.

[kickedintoorbit]

Too crazy you say? You might want to give an example since my definition of "too crazy" seems to always be vastly different from others.

[Giving others a positive kick is something Mystra does well. It also helps that she purposely kept off what is believed to be a sensitive topic, those tend to be a little awkward.]

I'd argue being impulsive isn't exactly a bad thing. Most of the time.

[fallaxpersona]

...Putting me directly where I might ah... lose control and hurt others. Exploiting my 'darker' side... that's not really what i want right now.

[ Spoken simply and he's not sounding TOO bothered by it either way. Just so her attempt to keep off the subject isn't done in vain. ]

I suppose it does depend on the situation, doesn't it?

[kickedintoorbit]

[Okay that's eyebrow raising worthy right there.] That seems more cruel than anything to be honest. Then again, the muns could do something a lot worse. [Don't mind Mystra, she's just blurting things aloud without a second thought.]

It certainly does, and I've had a fair share of both good and bad results. I know when to take a moment to think about specific impulses, and this has helped me steer clear of ending up with anything disastrous. ... Sort of. Maybe. [She wrings her hands, knowing full well that isn't the case one hundred percent of the time.]

[fallaxpersona]

Ah... You have a point. Though what could be worse than that..?

That's a good thing, the way I see it. Most people might not have the want to actually stop and think things over. Even if it's just for a moment.

[ He's just an optimist, he can't help it. ]

[kickedintoorbit]

[Yes, what could be worse than bringing about one's darker self? Let her count the ways on her fingers.] Being subjected to... experimentation, causing powers to go haywire, forcing one's mind to believe that the world is completely different than what it's suppose to be, snatching away something precious that you gained while in one of these "games" and, well, I could go on and on. [Thankfully, Mystra's not going to. It's a long list!]

There's an entire pool of ideas that they can use so long as the "game" we're placed in allows them to, so I don't believe they'd run with the whole darker side thing for too long when they have so much more to choose from. [She's seen some of those ideas get played out and MAN they are not pretty.]

Yeah, especially if they immediately think it's a good idea, when, in fact, it's terribly, terribly stupid... [No, she's not talking from experience at all! That's just crazy, Mystra's nothing like that! She so is.]

[celestial_wizard]

[ You've got her curious! ]

'That' part of you...?

[fallaxpersona]

Y-Yeah. It's not exactly a thing I like to show others though, that's the bad part.

[ Like... REALLY bad. People shouldn't have to know about it. ]

[celestial_wizard]

[ She grimaces slightly. ] I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately that does tend to be the kind of thing muns focus on. I never could understand why.

[ Because it's INTERESTING isn't a good reason to put people through torture! ]

[fallaxpersona]

Perhaps they find some kind of amusement in it, though I don't know how anyone would.

[ A sigh. His mun is a strange one. ]

Though you don't have to apologize, miss. I'm sure they'll understand it's not right in time.

[celestial_wizard]

[ She nods slowly, worried. ] Well, for your sake I hope that's true.

[fallaxpersona]

Me too. I don't want my mun's... ah... enthusiastic endeavors to end up hurting anyone, you know?

[scaryintuition]

Man, you should save your breath. Once these muns get ideas in their heads it's impossible to stop them. I've been trying to lecture mine on staying calm and thinking things through but in her head, why do that when you can go full-throttle instead?

But maybe you'll have better luck than me.

[We'll just...ignore the elephant in the room for a moment.]

jhgfghjkjhg HIDE *^*

[fallaxpersona]

[ Those words are enough to make him smile, a soft chuckle escaping him even as he tries to ignore the sharp, keening sound in the back of his mind just now. Something about this guy was familiar and he couldn't put a finger on why. ]

Yeah. It seems more convenient for mine to just rush and think later without considering the consequences.

[ He feels strangely at ease around this one and it's a nice feeling if he had to put words to it. ]

I'll still give it a try, though. I won't give up until i've at least really tried and given it my all.

I feel like I should be apologizing to Haise just in case...xD

[scaryintuition]

I have a theory that they act so impulsively because they think they'll lose whatever spark of creativity that's driving them. Or...something. Or maybe it's that if they don't think it through they won't have to admit what a bad idea it is.

[Hide grins in return, pleased by Haise's reaction. It almost distracts him a moment from the lack of recognition in the man's eyes. Almost.]

That's the spirit!

But, if it doesn't work, would it really be so bad going to another game?

in case this possibly breaks him a bit...? xD;;

[fallaxpersona]

Either of those sound like they could be plausible. Pretty good theories, I think.

[ There's no recognition from him personally but the voice inside his head is in a frenzy and he doesn't like how it's causing a bit of ringing in his ears now. ]

Well...I suppose from what my mun has told me, she's worried games might not take someone like me but I'm not quite sure why.

exactly. sorry Haise he doesn't know!

[scaryintuition]

Thanks. Still, understanding the why doesn't really help prevent them from going forward with their plans.

['Someone like him'? Oh. Right. It's probably the ghoul thing. He can see how that might be a problem.]

Your mun hasn't told you why?

aaah he won't blame him for that either way ;;

[fallaxpersona]

Ah.. that is true. I... have a subordinate who's like that. I tell him not to do something or try to figure out why he goes out of his way to be stubborn, but he still keeps on doing what he wants whether I say anything or not.

[ Urie you stubborn bastard. Though Haise hesitates a little now, brows drawing together into a small frown. ]

Not precisely. All she's said is that is how it ties in to the 'me' that I don't really remember.

hide would blame himself a bit if he knew the extent of the reaction he's causing

[scaryintuition]

[A subordinate? Someone has certainly come up in the world. He smiles faintly, a bit sad. Hide always knew he had the makings of a leader...once he got past his shyness.]

Ah, he must be difficult to work with.

[He looks surprised for a brief second. So he realizes that he's not quite himself?]

The 'you' that you don't remember?

yeah, he probably would. :(

[fallaxpersona]

[ There it is again. That girl in that cafe gave him a similar smile; filled with some level of sadness though he didn't know why. Was it something he'd said just now? ]

Yeah. That's... kind of putting it lightly.

[ A small laugh and then he's hesitating a bit before nodding quietly. Only a few people knew about this little thing, and perhaps it's that strange level of comfort that's making him open up about something that should be kept private. ]

...I know it probably sounds weird. There's... about 20 years of my life I don't really remember before coming to the CCG.

I mean he wants his friend back but not if it'll drive him crazy in the process

[scaryintuition]

[Well, it was clear from the start that he has some kind of amnesia. And to not recognize Hide at all, the amnesia must go pretty far back. But for some reason Hide hadn't expected him to not remember anything. Including his mother...

A stricken expression crosses his face when Haise mentions the CCG, but he quickly disguises it with a smile. What could the CCG possibly need him for?]

Man, it sounds like something from TV. You don't remember anything? And you work for the CCG? That must be rough.

fair enough. the going crazy part wouldn't be caused all by hide though, to be fair.

[fallaxpersona]

[ It's slight but he caught that stricken look that had crossed the blond's face for just a second. That time it WAS because of something he said but he just keeps on with a smile in return. ]

Not a thing. I've never been sure why... but... a part of me kind of doesn't want to remember. I get the feeling it would be painful, and i'd lose the kind of life I have now.

[ Haise blinks a few times before shaking his head. Yeah, he'd like to remember somewhat but the idea he'd lose his subordinates and everything was kind of scary in itself. ]

It's not that bad. I'm... a rank 1 investigator and i've gotten to work with some pretty interesting people. [ That nagging feeling is biting at him again; reminding him of what it was like when he'd seen serpent's face at that time back then. His head's begun to pound a bit and he tries to conceal this fact the best he can. ] ...Arima and Akira have been supportive of me and I owe a lot to the both of them.

he would still feel really bad about it and wish he could help ;_;

[scaryintuition]

[There is a lot missing in what Hide knows has happened to his friend. What he has is part speculation and part information gained from working for the CCG. But the few concrete details he knows of Kaneki's adventures aren't very good ones. Haise probably has a point about it those memories being painful. And it hurts Hide because he knows there isn't much he can do about it. Not without making the situation worse.

But he can't help but push, just a little because he knows not all of the memories are bad ones.]

You're not even a little curious though? I mean...what if you have friends or...family looking for you?

[He tries to keep his expression still when Haise mentions their names. Showing recognition will only complicate matters. But it leaves him with more questions. Why would they be working with a ghoul? Is the CCG behind his memory loss?]

Ah, it must be nice to have such supportive co-workers.

naturally ;; hide probably could help though...

[fallaxpersona]

[ That was something he hadn't quite considered but the thought now was ingrained into his head. Friends and family. He knew he had his subordinates and co-workers at the CCG, but of those in his life before that could look for him was something he really hadn't thought about before this. ]

Perhaps a little, but... after all this time, do you really think they would still be looking for me?

[ There's a pang of something sharp in his chest and the pounding in his head increased along with the vague sensation he could feel a cold, prying hand on his shoulder and him whispering to him. ]

Y-Yeah. There's... others against me being in the CCG... and the... use of the Quinx... but I want to prove that w-we're capable as well...

[ Haise's breath hitched and he felt strangely weak in the knees. He has to ignore this. He's better than letting THAT win. ]

true...but it would be trial and error because he can't really research what to do >>

[scaryintuition]

[Would they still be looking for him? It would almost be a funny question if Haise had any idea who he was referring to. Hide has already had a hand in tracking Kaneki down once after he went missing the first time. There's nothing that would stop him from finding his friend. And Anteiku...and Touka-chan...

He didn't believe they would stop looking either.]

They would definitely still be looking for you...because you're important to them.

[And if he sounds a little too sure about that...we can chalk it up to him being optimistic?]

The Quinx?

you have a point there ;;

[fallaxpersona]

[ Hearing that makes him hesitate, especially when it'd hit him just how optimistic the blond sounded about those words. So sure and confident that it almost threw him off guard. A strange feeling welled up in his chest at hearing such a thing, though only serving to add to the painful pounding in his head that felt like it was going to break his head right open. ]

It's been a few years... you've been looking for me all this time, haven't you?

[ His head feels like it just about split open just then, white noise filling his ears and his eyes have gone quite wide. What did he just say? A hand raised to clutch at his two-toned hair, both eyes soon shutting tightly. ]

Humans... with a m-modified Quinque installed in their b-body. F-Four of them are my subordinates...

he would at least have a better idea what to do knowing kaneki as well as he does

[scaryintuition]

[It's impossible for him to disguise his look of surprise. Is he getting through? Is Haise remembering him? A rush of excitement goes through him at the thought, quickly followed by a clench in his gut. Hide doesn't know what was done to him, or what could happen if he begins getting his memories back.]

I...I'm sure I have. [If there's one thing he knows, it's that he would search for his friend no matter how long it took. There might be a couple of years separating Hide and his future self, but he has to believe this.]

Are you okay? [He takes a step closer, reaching out a hand as if to try and comfort him. Haise's eyes looked strange...wild before he shut them. Maybe Hide shouldn't have pushed.]

Modified Quinque? [This is the first he's heard of that and it's almost enough to distract him. Modified humans with a half ghoul as their leader...What is the CCG up to?]

very true. he'd be someone who'd be able to calm him down, i think. :)

[fallaxpersona]

[ His head is reeling, making him feel dizzier than he thought and why his hand comes out to rest on the blond's shoulder in an attempt to steady himself. In the back of his thoughts he's insistently trying to keep in mind his group of 'kids', his subordinates in the attempt to try and make this painful feeling cease so he could think properly again. ]

Okay...? I.... my head is... splitting in two... I... I... [ He catches himself, realizing he was probably looking crazy to the other man now. ] I'll... be alright s-soon... don't worry about it.

[ Haise barely manages a nod, not opening his eyes or moving other than his hand clutching tighter at his hair. Think. Breathe. He couldn't lose himself here when Arima wouldn't be able to stop him when he was like that. ]

...A weapon m-manufactured from a g-ghoul's kagune. It... makes them almost like a half-ghoul while still... remaining human.

I hope so. poor guy, someone needs to be able to help him. ;_;

[scaryintuition]

[Hide allows him to use his shoulder as a support. His instinct is to wrap his arms around the other man and sooth him, but he's not sure whether the actions would be welcome. This isn't his friend. This isn't Kaneki. Not really. Not with his memories missing.]

Do you need to sit down? Maybe something to drink? [He's not sure where he can find coffee in this place, but he will one way or the other.]

Why would they do that? [But he has a pretty good idea. Kaneki is only half-ghoul and yet he was enough to cause problems for the CCG. Maybe this is their attempt to even the odds.]

i agree ;; he can't ever seem to catch a break, can he?

[fallaxpersona]

[ At this point in time, physical contact might actually help his mental state some. His breathing is ragged and thoughts a jumble, pounding almost painfully and so much whispering in his ear telling him to 'let go', making it hard to hear the blond when he speaks to him. ]

A-Ah... if they have coffee... I just... can't think straight. I'm sorry..

[ He's the one in near pain and out of habit he's being polite, even apologizing as per the usual. ]

I've never... asked why. They just...said... it was something new, to.. give them equal fighting grounds I believe..

nope he has the worst luck ever

[scaryintuition]

[Hide can't stand to watch him like this and not do something. So, whether you like it or not Haise, he's going to wrap his arms around you and squeeze you tight.] Hey, it's going to be alright. Take some deep breathes.

[After a long moment, once he's certain Haise has calmed down some, he lets go and takes a step back.]

Right. Coffee. I'm sure there's some around here somewhere...Wait here!

[He goes rushing off into the unknown in search of coffee. He's gone for maybe twenty minutes before reappearing, two coffee cups in hand.] Here.

[It takes him a moment to get back on track with their conversation but he quickly recovers. The Quinx, right.]

Yeah, I thought that maybe it was something like that. There haven't been any...side effects?

y e p. unfortunately :(

[fallaxpersona]

[ As those arms wrap around him, his breath hitches and his eyes snap open and all thoughts stopped short. This warmth was soft, comforting and so familiar it hurt, and yet at the same time it was strangely soothing. It took a second or two for him to realize that there was something wet rolling down his cheeks; to realize those were tears and he was crying. ]

I... Y-Yeah. It will be... I just got ahead of myself, that's all.

[ The pounding in his head feels a lot less severe and the voice has quieted for now, but not completely gone. He takes the time in which the blond is out to calm himself down, posture a lot more relaxed and really hoping the other hadn't seen those embarrassing tears before.

Only as the blond in question returns does he look up, seeming a lot better appearance wise than he'd been prior, a small smile on his face as he accepts that cup of coffee. ]

Hmm... not a whole lot from what I could tell. The Quinx squad I care for seem to be doing fine. If they have problems, they haven't told me about them.

if only hide would show up in the manga and fix things >> *has hope*

[scaryintuition]

[If he happened to feel a wet spot on his shoulder or noticed the tears, he doesn't give any indication before he leaves nor when he returns. Sometimes it's best to pretend you didn't see anything and let the person deal with their emotions on their own. But he is glad to see Haise looking better upon his return.]

That's good then. It just sounds so strange, like something out of a sci-fi novel. Have many people undergone the modification?

[He wonders how effective they are. Regular investigators seem to be dangerous enough on their own and this is taking it to a whole new level. But he also knows that bluntly asking something like that would bring on questions he doesn't know how to answer.]