((For the first time ever, on DW... Canon is sometime after Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko))

[exagent_gecko]

[He lowers his shades and grins.]

Mun, huh? The name doesn't seem to fit your cute face.

[That's right; cute. She may not be a model beauty (like his partner), but she's definitely someone Gex has noticed. Obviously, she likes him.]

Wait, I know... How 'bout I call you as M, for now? [He winks and grins in amusement at her curious brow raising.] You may not be an agent yet, but if you're really up for it, I'll show you the ropes. Getting a cool title to go with your new name's only part of it.

[M's snickering a little.]

Whaat, you don't think I'm serious? There's nothing at all bad about watchin' gameplay footage on YouTube, or just playing the game. Although, Iiiii think you're not interested in just that, 'cause here I am.

Comments

[lastest_ringbearer]

. . . lizard is talking.

[exagent_gecko]

[Well! This is certainly interesting.]

And come with an assortment of accessories, gadgets, and clothing! All sold separately.

All in the day to day life of a big lizard.

How's Middle-Earth been treatin' ya these days? Cruddy, right? That shiny hand of yours looks new... [Gex doesn't remember that happening in what he saw of Return of the King.]

[lastest_ringbearer]

Precious melteded in fireses. Hurt our poor handses.

. . . how is it knowing Middle-Earth? We not have talking lizardses.

[exagent_gecko]

Must be a deleted scene on the DVD I don't have.

[After blurting that out, he pauses a sec.] Oh wait, you wouldn't know what a DVD is. Oops!

Let's say I know quite a bit of what you've been through. From over where I came from, you're a famous character, Smeagol! Along with Frodo, Bilbo, and even that Sauron creep.

[lastest_ringbearer]

We fall in fire. We crawlses out. We be here.

Nasssty Black Hand, we hateses it much.

[exagent_gecko]

Well we're clearly not in Kansas, or Oz for that matter! Still, there has to be something magical about this place.

It's not much crazier than what I've already been through.

[Exciting. Gex wouldn't mind meeting any of the other Hobbits, Aragorn, Legolas and Gandalf sometime later. M's a swell and thoughtful gal! She must have known he'd enjoy something like this.]

If it comes to facing the Black Hand, I had better learn how to become a powerful wizard by then. My kung-fu won't be enough!

[lastest_ringbearer]

We's not sure one can learn to be a wizard, Precious.

[exagent_gecko]

Huh? But--there's got to be a way. Harry Potter learned how at Hogwarts, this other story I know! Why wouldn't I be able to go through the same thing?

If you and everyone, everything at Middle Earth is real, then surely Potter's universe must be.

If not that, then I'll have to develop some Super Saiyan skills.

[lastest_ringbearer]

We not know what silly lizard be talking about.

[exagent_gecko]

I'm talking about powerful folks from other worlds, my balding friend.

Going from world to world gets complicated. There are hardly two or more that are exactly the same.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Lizard will be friendses with poor Smeagol? Lizard be too kind!

We only knows of one world, my love.

[exagent_gecko]

Why sure. Under strange circumstances, wouldn't it be important to befriend a hero with some know-how about this stuff?

My name's Gex. Good to meetcha, Smeagol. [Nice to see him act much calmer, after the time they fell into the lava.]

[lastest_ringbearer]

We be hero too, in our way.

We isss being glad to meet nice lizard too.

[exagent_gecko]

[Never had Gex seen the day in which he'd befriend Sméagol/Gollum and offer to help him out. Welp, it's a lot better than having to fight an invisible foe! It's all a win-win situation for him.]

Hmmm. All right, I'm willing to be open-minded. How were you a hero?

Aw shucks. I'm flattered. Naw hombre; really it's good to meet you! I must say thank you for not leading me into a gigantic spider's den. [He shudders a bit involuntarily, in the middle of his semi-witty remarks.] Yeah, that was a really unsettling scene in the tale of Two Towers. I don't think I could eat bugs that big...

[lastest_ringbearer]

We kept Precious six hundred yearses and still trieded to fight it. We led Frodo through Dead Marsheses. And when all wasss lossst Gollum took Ring when Frodo went mad--and Smeagol-Gollum went into fire. We not think any other could have, for we was both willing and unwilling to end it. Precious know we not want to burn it, so it not try to stop usss. Ssso Smeagol could make Gollum fall.

Shelob be ssscary, we agree. But if we'd warneded them what would have changeded? Wasss only way through. *He sighs.* If Sam not be ssso mean to poor Smeagol thingsss might have been different.

At leassst it not be'd Her mother?

[exagent_gecko]

Well, that's a different perspective all right! [Hey, he won't disagree about that.]

Yeah, though was hard on poor Sam, worried about his good friend being worn down and losing it to a monster's cursed jewelry. I sympathize towards both.

Looks like you got your precious back for good. It'd be even harder for anybody to steal it now.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Shelob'ses mother ate the treeses that fruited sssun and moon, they sssay. Ssshe came from Outside Creation, and wove great webses of unlight.

Prapsss mean hobbit ought to have remembered that we wasss like friend once. Stupid mean thing.

Very hard indeed! *Gollum smiles nastily and rubs at a ropy bit of gold along the back of his hand.* If any trieses we eatses them. And that still be more a mercy than letting them have the evil thing. Ssshut up. No, you ssshut up!

[exagent_gecko]

[Gee, thanks for the nightmare fuel. Just what he doesn't want to visualize; an even more colossal gigantic spider.]

Exactly. A bona-fide death wish. Yeesh.

Gotta ask; does it ever get confusing for you, having two different personalities?

[lastest_ringbearer]

*Welcome, welcome! Now he won't be alone in that.*

Living wisssh for death, dead wisssh for life, and none be ever sssatisssfieded. Oh well.

A bit, yesss. To have sssoul with crack down the middle can be pain. But better than being all alone in dark, and we be useded to it now. Not knowing if we one perssson or two be normal, for usss.

[exagent_gecko]

[And Gex's kind, concerned mother thought he'd go off into the deep end from watching so much on TV...]

I'd feel terribly sorry for anyone who'd try to have you wear a straight-jacket. The mayhem that would ensue. Not even Dr. Phil would survive with a ten foot pole!

[He partially says this in dark humor.]

[lastest_ringbearer]

What isss being straight jacket, my love?

[exagent_gecko]

[His love? His love? Umm, that makes him feel ever so slightly uncomfortable.]

Not the kind of jacket you would be comfortable in. It's a restraint.

Mental Asylum material.

For everyone's safety, do not go near anyone who shows you one of those.

[lastest_ringbearer]

We not like chainses, Precious. *He skitters back a bit, showing fangs.* No nasssty ropeses for usss, no!

You not being on ssside of nasssty oneses, are you, my love? If it isss then we eats it! *A slimy tongue emerges from Gollum's mouth for a moment.* If only lizard wasss proper lizard-sized, so we could eat it whole! We likes little beastieses ssscrabbling in our throat.

No, Preciousss, no eating thingsss what talk! Eating people bes bad!

But we could have sssuch fun tasssting it, my love! Prapsss a bit of tail? Those grow back, for little lizardses. We remember that . . .

[n7shepard_spectre]

A talking lizard. Well, at least you aren't a big, stupid jellyfish.

[exagent_gecko]

[Not only does he talk, but he also appears to be the size of the average human male.

Hellooooo Gorgeous!]

There are people on the far east side of Earth who eat those. If maybe that's a reason as to why a portion of humans are morons, then I'd pity them. No offense meant of course, toward your species.

Poison from Man O' Wars is lethal though. [Gex smiles a charming one as he adds;] Luckily for us, they wouldn't share our intelligence at all.

[n7shepard_spectre]

[Shakes head, facepalms]

No, not an actual jellyfish. An alien species called the Hanar. They resemble jellyfish, though float in the air somehow, are sentient, and always refer to themselves in the third person. Not the brightest in the galaxy.

[A slight bemused smirk, as if she's the only one on an inside joke. She's used to those looks, even if they are a waste. But, at least it isn't Conrad Verner this time.

Course, the Krogan aren't too intelligent either, but at least they can fight.

[exagent_gecko]

Can you imagine those guys and the Daleks having a chaotic party in a huge room together? It sure wouldn't last long. Exterminate, exterminate! [Absolutely saying that exclamation in his Dalek voice impression.]

I've been to a few outer space dimensions myself, and seen my fair share of unintelligent creeps. [Yep, it sure is nice having this in common with her.]

So, how long have you been an explorer of space?

[n7shepard_spectre]

[Nods slightly, not entirely certain what a Dalek is. Might have heard something about them on the extranet, course, that also could have been something else entirely different.]

Haven't seen any Reapers in those dimensions, have you? [Rather curious if that's a problem dealt with in all dimensions, or merely her own.

[ponders momentarily.] Technically, 16, though in actuality, 14. My parents were killed when I was 16, and sort of stayed with Alliance military after they rescued me. Two years later, joined the Alliance, haven't looked back since. Course, the really bad stuff has been the past few years. Spending two years dead before being brought back to fight the same damn war even harder really takes a lot out of a girl.

[exagent_gecko]

Hmmm. Are they like grim reapers, or something else? [He doesn't seem sure on what she speaks of.] Either way, they sound nasty.

[He blinks in both surprise and amazement after listening to her backstory. Daaaamn, she's all kinds of impressive.

The flattery coming from him is just automatic as he'd be falling for her now.]

For a non-ghoul, you look lovely... I can't imagine how exhausting that was to endure, to come back from death and having to kick alien butt again, but you m'lady are legendary.

It ain't great at all when it comes to the loss of parents, but in the end you know they'd be super proud of you!

[n7shepard_spectre]

Their a race of sentient machines as tall as skyscrapers, and their intent on destroying all organic life in the galaxy.

[Shakes head slightly. This is oh, so familiar.]

You don't happen to know Conrad Verner, do you?

I suppose so, Perhaps I'll find out, should I ever meet them in... well, after everything, whatever happens.

[exagent_gecko]

[That description has him rather shocked.] Oh jeez! Whooooa, if my arch-nemesis was still around, hanging around things like that, then everyone would be screwed. Yikes... Rez was another machine of terror. A rather insane, scary, nightmarish creepazoid I've battled in the Media Dimension.

One still can't explain how he found me and pulled me through my television long ago, but thaaat explains how my life never became the same again. I eventually was recruited as a government agent, once Rez came back the second time around. I'm still in the agency, just about set for life.

Never heard of 'im! [Wow, that name sounds hilarious. Is that going to be his competition in winning the affections of this space vixen?] I doubt he's as hip and green as me.

My name is Gex, by the way. What would yours be?

[n7shepard_spectre]

Yeah, that's pretty much the situation I'm in. Everyone's screwed.

[Doesn't know Rez, perhaps a good thing, too. Otherwise, he might be at the wrong end of her pistol.]

Uh, no, he's definitely not green. [Uncertainty about the hippness, though visibly relieved at not knowing him.]

Shepard, Cmdr Vanessa Shepard, Alliance Navy and Council Spectre.

[exagent_gecko]

Well, that's rather grim.

[No need to worry herself over that terror! It's already been confirmed that Rez is destroyed. Scrapped completely. Gex made sure of it. The bad dreams however never stay away, not for too long anyway.]

Does he know kung-fu? Can he surf? Snowboard? Wall-crawl? Look dashingly good in a tuxedo? [He's totally looking all chill while he proudly lists some of his skills.]

[Vanessa! Yes, he'll remember that.] You're a leader of your own crew and a council member?

[He's not quite that amazing--but one day, one day, he just might be!]

[n7shepard_spectre]

Isn't it, though?

No, I don't... no, not likely. He's... a bit obsessive. Slightly weird. And apparently, my biggest fan. [There are other things that she's too lady like/Paragon to mention]

No, I'm not on the council, they appointed me to the Spectres, the.. ultra uber police force, I guess. We're the first and last line of defense in the galaxy. Anderson was the Captain of the ship, but he stepped down so I could have my own ship, which I needed. Then it crashed in the attack I died in, but I got me a new one. I say mine, though, technically, I stole it from the group that brought me back to life. It's all sort of complicated.

[exagent_gecko]

[The thing Gex tends to borderline obsess about, on occasion, is television. He’s been a TV show and movie addict for some years--since the day his father had died tragically in an accident at NASA. Music videos to favorite songs and YouTube are fun things to watch too.]

[Well! Conrad won’t really be competition at all.] He’s clearly a stalker. Have you requested for a restraining order yet?


Serves them right for trying to boss you around, huh. Y’know, I think I get the meaning behind the name now. Your team’s skilled at stealth, am I right? [He grins, and then adds in his epic movie trailer voice impression;] With their set of skills to be silent as ghosts, the Spectres travel the universe as its elite defense force against hostile aliens...

[n7shepard_spectre]

[Restraining order? That's.. not something familiar, though she gets the gist of it. However, given the fact everyone else trembles at the sight of a Spectre, and Conrad asks for an autograph and picture 'for his wife', well, restraining order likely wouldn't be effective.]

I don't think that's an option.

Huh? [Rubs head absently. Oh,. yeah, that.] No, it's sort of an acronym. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. Though there was the time on Virmire I was called Shadow company.

Ugh, apologies for this late reply! Been busy some of the time, and been sick during other times.

[exagent_gecko]

Arresting him might do it then.

[Gex wouldn't go around stalking and making dear Commander Shepard constantly uncomfortable.]

[Some of what she explains flies over his mind--but that's all right! He understands somewhat, and that's good enough for him right now.]

[The following is said in his Shatner voice. Star Trek's been a sci-fi favorite for as long as he remembers.] To boldly go and venture where none have gone before... Curious. Why were your crew called the Shadow Company?

No worries. Hope feeling better.

[n7shepard_spectre]

It might, though I think that might be a bit excessive. He might be annoying, but for the most part, he's harmless.

I was an addition to a Salarian STG squad. Their three forces acted as the main attack force, while I and my crew sneaked in undetected for the most part. We were able to disable enemy forces, and ultimately, set of a retrofitted drive core equal to a twenty kiloton nuclear bomb, destroying the enemy base. Shadow was the code name, since we were the unseen forces.