on game searching

[carptricks]

HEY!

[dramatic point!1]

Don't think I don't see you agonizing over finding a new game for me over there! D'you know what happened the last ten million times I let you pick out a game without any of my input? [scowls] Of course you do! You were behind your computer screen, sitting in your stupid cozy recliner, laughing like a madwoman while I did all of the heavy lifting. Well, not anymore!

[a flick of his wrist and as mall puff of pink smoke, and he pulls a rolled up piece of paper straight out of thin air. another flick and the sheet unravels, the ends of it trailing against the ground at his feet]

[yeah. YEAH.]

I've got a list of mandatory requirements this new game of yours has to meet in order to be eligible for application. You ready? [he clears his throat with a cough, and begins to read]

One: no amnesia.

Two: seriously, no amnesia

Three: I'm not kidding about this amnesia thing, don't give me amnesia again.

Four: no murder

Five: I'm not kidding about the no murder clause either

Six: a new username that does not contain a pun involving the freaky, scaly devils of the sea. What the heck is even wrong with your dumb brain for you to come up with something like this, geez!

[he glances up from his list, both eyebrows raised]

Seems pretty reasonable to me, huh? It's only a small sample of the requirements I've got, but--







-- HEY! What d'you mean you could just app an entirely new character instead?!

Comments

[carptricks]

We've already hit one level of meta. [with this entire post] If we hit another level, who knows what the heck might happen?

The entire fictional universe as we know it might explode from too much meta within meta within meta.

[fuhrinkaed]

Oh god, you're right. And here I am with the Seal of Magic and everything and I'm already thinking about ending the universe two seconds later just by causing a neverending chain of meta.

I've become Lila.

[carptricks]

[KAITO'S HAND, MEET ED'S SHOULDER. and he replies in the MOST SERIOUS FASHION HE CAN MANAGE aka seriousness laced with a whole lot of serious sarcasm]

Fight the urge. Break the chain. The universe doesn't have to fall by your hand.

[fuhrinkaed]

[He returns the gesture, only his hands are on Kaito's waist.]

I can't. I'm not strong enough... It's in my blood. My soul. She's corrupted me.

You must become the greatest magician ever. Stronger than even me. And then, while I'm still myself... Kaito, you have to kill me. Before I can damn us all in a flurry of references and old memes.

[carptricks]

[. . . DRAMATICALLY!! and totally playing along]

But Ed. . .! You know my tragic back story! The murder of my father, my mission for revenge without killing his killers. . . if I took someone's life, I'd be breaking every single one of my tropes!

[fuhrinkaed]

But I've turned evil! There's only two ways this ends, and if you don't do anything then everyone we've fought so hard for will die! Or worse, be taken away to serve as window dressing in bad fan fiction!

[carptricks]

Is this the conflict I'm facing?! Is my character arc to focus on the struggle between protecting my ideals and doing something I hate for the good of humanity?




-- wait, damn it, did I change genres while I wasn't looking?

[fuhrinkaed]

It's my shonen..! Don't you get it?! You're already infected! It's spreading already!

Game over, man! Game over!

[carptricks]

[JERKS BACK like he just touched a hot iron]

You never said you were contagious!

[fuhrinkaed]

I didn't know! I..! How could I?! I just thought it was half of the point of Kyriakos!

[carptricks]

We're doomed.

Completely doomed.

[fuhrinkaed]

Wait! But! Wh-what if you harness the power of friendship?!

Or true love?! True love always works!

[carptricks]

. . . is your genre really that cliche?

[fuhrinkaed]

H-how should I know, I only ever harnessed friendship!

Seriously, look at my love interests! There's no way I could get true love, at best I have mildly unhealthy codependence!

[carptricks]

. . .

[SYMPATHETIC. . . SHOULD PAT?]

[fuhrinkaed]

[Sob sob]

And you don't even know... like... the problems that come with it. I can be a girl whenever I want, y'know? So of course you get tumblr all unanimously headcanoning that you're trans or something dumb like that.

I. How would you even get that idea? I like boobs, Kaito! And not on me! On girls!

[carptricks]

Ed.

Ed.

You're freaking out.

Calm down.

You're breaching another level of meta here.

[fuhrinkaed]

Oh god. I'm going to kill us all!

KAITO. YOU HAVE TO DO THE THING.

[carptricks]

[ACT = DROPPED]

Would you relax? You're not gonna kill anyone, and neither am I.

[jabs his thumb at the NO MURDER clause of his demands]

[fuhrinkaed]

..Well, duh.

But it was funnier this way, right?

[carptricks]

For a little while.

[links his hands behind his head]

My mood's been lifted, anyway. And I think my mun's is, too.

[fuhrinkaed]

Oh, good.

I was worried for a minute or two there that it wasn't crazy enough, y'know? I was already thinking about other stuff to use...