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this is what happens when your friend enables you
[Look! It's Sailor Chris, sailor soldier of booty and justice! He seems to not notice the extremely tight-fitting and revealing sailor outfit he's been squeezed into, however. In fact, he seems doggedly determined to complete whatever mission he's on right now: a usual for Chris Redfield.
Maybe he's trying to save face, what little there is left in an outfit like that anyway.]
Listen, Mun. I know you mean well, but I don't have time for this. Jill and Parker are still out there; they still need my help.
Send me back.
[Nah. It's more fun like this. Besides, we have a whole multiverse of people who need to witness your magical booty for themselves!]
. . . [And behold, the only sign that Chris is actually aware of the circumstances of his outfit: his face starts to look awful flustered.] My rear end is none of your business! Now I have a mission to complete and if you're not going to help, I'll figure it out myself!
Maybe he's trying to save face, what little there is left in an outfit like that anyway.]
Listen, Mun. I know you mean well, but I don't have time for this. Jill and Parker are still out there; they still need my help.
Send me back.
[Nah. It's more fun like this. Besides, we have a whole multiverse of people who need to witness your magical booty for themselves!]
. . . [And behold, the only sign that Chris is actually aware of the circumstances of his outfit: his face starts to look awful flustered.] My rear end is none of your business! Now I have a mission to complete and if you're not going to help, I'll figure it out myself!
YOU'RE BASICALLY MY FAVORITE.
[He's just...going to give you this face for a while, man.]
I SEE YOU'RE LOOKING IN A MIRROR
[Chris stares back, managing to keep a good poker face. Then he slowly pulls the pipe out of his mouth.] Can I help you?
MORE LIKE YOUR FACE IS LOOKING AT YOUR...FACE! YEAH!
Just...please never look up a shop called Devil May Cry. I don't need my brother getting ideas.
[Because Dante has zero shame and he would wear this in an instant.]
omg
omg yourself, that is an amazing bayonetta username there
Adorable? I'm a soldier, not a stripper.
no subject
[ At least she's wearing boots and not slip-ons... but you can't really take someone wearing bloomers with a dead parrot on their shoulder seriously. Probably, anyway. ]
hahaha you are my hero. pirate jill!
[You're showing off as much skin as he is! But for what it's worth, the bloomers are adorable. He's not gonna say that out loud though; professionalism and all that. ...And Jill has a really mean kick that he doesn't want to be on the opposing end of.]
perfection
Chris.
That violates S.T.A.R.S. dress code.
omg amazing i am dying
Somehow, he suspects doing so would have much less weight in this skimpy uniform... Doesn't stop him from mouthing off, though.]
No kidding. Shouldn't matter though, since S.T.A.R.S. is long gone, thanks to you. [He's glaring so hard over the rim of his sunglasses, which... doesn't make Chris look any more threatening, really.]
no subject
and also how did he get so bara overnight?]
-- What?
[wesker just sounds infuriatingly calm. trying to play dumb. because he is a mastermind.]
no subject
You, my dear man, could not possibly find your way out of a paper bag. And certainly not dressed like that! My word.
Perhaps the blathering fools you call your companions will die a quick painless deaths and save themselves the embarrassment of feasting their eyes upon... you.