dear_mun | (no subject)

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...

I wish you would not continually describe me as 'old'.

I'm... middle-aged. Okay, a bit more than middle, but I'm not... I mean I...

Look, no one likes to be called old, okay? When describing me to others, point out my other features. My confidence and charisma, maybe my meticulousness, especially in keeping my appearance. Maybe describe me by my nationality, or my occupation.

Seriously. Any description beyond 'old' or 'lecherous'. You've been playing me for nearly six years, surely you can come up with something better.

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Ha ha! But you are old!

[Hundun. Rude.]

...

Charming. What an astute observation.

[Well he's not WRONG.]

[He is the most charming.]

I don't know why you put such stock in your own appearance. It's hardly anything to fret over.

[So says the lion/jackal-headed, four-armed monstrosity.]

[He just raises an eyebrow then.]

I'm an incubus? My survival depends upon people choosing to lay with me?

[Also he's incredibly vain. But that's besides the point.]

[He can't claim to be familiar with how incubi work, being a demon who feeds on chaos and despair rather than pleasure, so he just shrugs his huge shoulders and chuckles.]

Wouldn't it be simpler just to make them?

Edited (Because grammar) 2015-01-07 02:29 (UTC)

[He can't say he's surprised. Most other demons don't understand his struggle.]

It certainly would be. But that's not my specialty, unfortunately.

[Yeah, Hundun cares less about getting laid and more about things like starting wars and shredding dimensional boundaries and stealing stop signs.

That's not to say he doesn't like sex, mind you--he just has other priorities.]

Ha! Isn't it all the same, though? [Hundun no.]

Edited (These speech patterns) 2015-01-07 02:52 (UTC)

[If it was anyone else, Hundun might get strange or horrified looks, but not this incubus. He just laughs a bit instead.]

For the most part. Sometimes it's necessary to feed on those with looser morals though. You know. For me.

Edited 2015-01-07 03:00 (UTC)

[He's so used to the horrified looks that at this point it's rarer for him to not get them. Comes with being an eight-foot tall multilimbed chaos monster. He quite enjoys those terrified looks, honestly.]

Ha ha, I don't claim to know the tastes of an incubus, but whatever humors you.

It's alright, most other demons have differing tastes from my species. Our sin is of a different nature.

[What is this 'sin' concept you speak of? ~~Blue and orange morality, yo.~~]

To each their own. My tastes lean a bit more chaotic.

[I mean I guess that happens with chaos demons and stuff.]

I... can imagine so.

[I mean did this guy even have a humanoid form? Didn't look like it.]

[Pfft, even if he did he wouldn't use it. Shit's not chaotic. Which is most of the reason behind he doesn't see 'looking old' as an issue.]

It's really quite intoxicating! Perhaps you might give it a try some time. [Instigating mass hysteria, that is.]

[He shrugs. Maybe in his youth chaos would be more fun. Fear is still pretty fun though.]

Eh, maybe in the future, if I feel a bizarre rush of energy. I generally stick to smaller-time things. Leave all the chaos and whatnot to the big guys. I know my place well enough.

Your loss! [He laughs, crossing his lower pair of arms over his chest while he tousles the incubus's hair with one of the upper. He's got something of a soft spot for smaller demons, even if they aren't from his sphere.]

Age is just an illusion, don't let it get to you, kid. [Yes, 'kid.']

[He hasn't been called 'kid' in a non-condescending way in a long time, so he doesn't take offense, though it is weird, considering he's going to be a millennium old in a century and a half.]

Mhhh, I suppose. It would be nice if my bad knees and wrinkles were also an illusion.

[If Val thinks his wrinkles are bad, he should take a closer look at Hundun's face. Yeesh.
But yes, 'kid.' Because everyone is younger than you when you're as old as the universe itself.]

Ha ha! Nothing to be done about that, sorry to say.

[He sighs, only hoping that he either gets better at hiding them with magic or otherwise does not have to live too terribly long.]

Nothing at all? I shudder to think how I'll end up if I make it another thousand years at this rate...

Show me. Maybe I'll believe it without them saying so.

What is it I'm meant to show you? Because if it's that I'm not old... I don't think I can show that. Considering I AM old. Well, older. 'Aged'.

But if it's that there are other aspects to me than my age...

[He shrugs]

I mean I walk and talk, so I think that's a good start.

[ Cue a laughter from her side. It's directed at him, yes, but it has no trace of malice in it. ]

But do you walk and talk with confidence and charisma? I'd like to see it.

Well if you insist.

[He's giving a bit of a grin as he does a little catwalk shtick, complete with a little kiss blown at the end of the perceived runway.]

I would sing 'I'm too sexy', but I've never been much of a singer.

[ Okay-- that gets a full laughter out of her complete with tummy holding and some wheezing at the end. ]

I don't know that song but if you teach me, maybe I can sing it while you walk. So what do you say?

[He doesn't mind the laughing. Really, he was being somewhat ridiculous, but in his prime he COULD have been a model, right?]

Well, I can try. I don't have a music player on me or anything though, so you'd have to suffer through my singing.

[A large Russian man with an understandable but still very obvious accent had a hard enough time trying to sing normal songs, nevermind 'I'm Too Sexy', though it was admittedly one of the incubus' favorites.]

To some you're old, to others, you're a child.

[A bored look goes here.] Which do you prefer, the wisdom that comes with age or being seen as immature?

Well to be fair, I am not a Paragon of Maturity.

I'm young at heart. And if you asked Ana, he would say I'm not very wise either.

Honestly I just want to be viewed as attractive, and don't care what people think of my wisdom or maturity.

Hm. [He makes a dismissive noise and shrugs his shoulders.]

I didn't know attractiveness was measured by the number of candles on your birthday cake.

[...]

Pointing out attributes won't help, I'm sure. Beauty being in the eye of the beholder and all, I'm sure those who find you attractive do so by looking at you. As for being described by mundanes- They have a tendency to go for a negative view, I've found.

[Sigh.] Mine describes me as a manic-depressive lovelorn fool of a trash bucket, for example.

Thank goodness we stopped having cake for my birthday ages ago...

[He was watching his figure! Also it'd end up just a pile of ash shortly after being lit with over 800 candles.]

I know mundanes go for the negative, trust me. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

It's like being on a dating site though.

People don't usually get to see you until they hear the description and that's just an awful first impression in my opinion.

If only I could write my own description.

[Val, we both know you would take too many liberties with that.]

Never had cake for mine, personally. It was always more of a human thing.

[It's fascinating though, as is all the things that humans do.]

Is your mundane stopping you? [He's honestly curious.] I don't see why you couldn't if you want to and the powers that be don't stop you.

Well.

Er, I mean. No?

I don't think they are stopping me.

[If you want to write a description of yourself, go ahead, but we're not using it for anything.]

Well I'd want to use it for something. You can't stop me from doing that in-universe. [Cue pouting]

If you want to do it, you should. [He shrugs.]

You'll probably get to use it sometime, so why not?

[Eyy, look at him being... Encouraging? That's certainly new.]

[Maybe it's a lower demon thing. He seems to have that sort of effect on people.]

Hm. I guess I will. Honestly there's no reason not to.

[Normally he doesn't even bother with other demons. He has a few he communicates with, but beyond that he stays away. That's what it's like when both Heaven and Hell are out to get you.

... He supposes he's just in a weird mood.]

Good luck with that.

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Sorry about all the edits

Man, edit all you want ;o No biggie

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oh no that's kind of cute in a weird way

He has his moments. He tends to dote on his generals in canon.

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