dear_mun | (no subject)

(no subject)

Having just been through one grand adventure, you plan to uproot me again for another?! I've not yet tracked down everything that was auctioned! I've only just planted for the spring! The pantry is only half full!

I rather think I'm done with adventures, thank you and good day!

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Hell, not the pantry. Why didn't you say that sooner? That changes everything.

Finally someone that understands! There's something immoral about it all!

Now that's just being paranoid. You're not suggesting there's a conspiracy afoot here, are you? [one that puts all the pantries in the world at risk, he's tempted to say.]

Oh, I'm not suggesting it. I know it!

[And it's worse than a pantry-centric risk. This one deals with the particular halfling that owns said pantry! Bare as it might be.]

All leveled against you and your pantry. Okay.

[are all halflings like this? the majority of the ones he's seen were back in the Homelands, and he hasn't run into too many since then, but he doesn't think he's profiling too unfairly by saying that this guy is setting the standard.

the golden standard, if you will.]

You do have options, you know. I've heard tell of a tiny little oasis nestled in only the harshest of wilds where the food is already ready and waiting for travelers to take it.

Supposedly, the inhabitants of this place will even help you carry it to your wagon, if you're nice enough.

That sounds... Well that sounds beautiful. And convienient. But I've only just returned home after what supposedly was over thirty or so odd months of outside employment and I'd rather stay here. My poor garden has already suffered and my spoons are only half accounted for.

And worse still, I fear that she'll find me no matter where I go and drop my off somewhere even less pleasant than a goblin cave or a dragon den.

Someone stole your spoons? Are you sure they didn't steal your food, too?

Well, I won't lie and say that grocery stores are completely pleasant; moody cashiers are a little like goblins, minus the clubs. I think the biggest hurdle you'd have is not being able to decide what you want. [all kidding aside—] Have you been in many dragon dens before, though, or are you just being finnicky?

Stole-- yes-- Well no. I suppose it was more auctioned. But my cousin was most certainly behind it. She's been eyeing the silver and the doilies for a great long while now and that's nothing to say of the wine!

Oh, the wine! I've yet to check and see if they breached the under cellar!

[He might well pass out from frustration if his father's Elven vintage had been plundered!]

Never mind. Never mind that now. The grocer stand will be open soon and while the shopkeep is thankfully not at all like a goblin, it is still an unpleasant thing to replenish the whole of a pantry. I had some fine aged cheese and spices you know!

And also, at my age, any dragon's den is far more than enough. Any respectable hobbit knows better than to visit one!

She sounds like a peach. If you wanted to, and I don't know why you wouldn't, you could press charges. I don't think you need me to tell you that what she's doing is incredibly illegal.

Any rational person would know better, too. But you'd still be surprised how many jump at the chance anyway. All it usually amounts to them running straight into a fireball. [the lucky ones anyway. he reaches into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes, taking one out as his other hand readies his lighter.] I get the feeling gold isn't your thing, though. Too bad dragons don't have a preference for cheese.

Charges?

|It's very hard for a little hobbit to keep up when you use such grandiose phrases. Hobbits have no need of those sorts of laws. They might not all get along and there's a bad apple here or there trying to cheat others, but for the most part, hobbits are pleasant little folks who try not to step on the toes of any else. Even the Sackville-Bagginses.]

Never mind.

It does seem to me that dragons would be much happier and less lonely if they did care for cheese.

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