voice testing our pal timothy

[studentloans]

Stop! Stop, stop, stop, noooo, that is bad, do not do that. Oh god, you're gonna get me sniped in the face! Take it down, there's still time, you can just slap a 'HANDSOME JACK' over the top of the name and we can all move on and not be, y'know, dead.

Christ, that fucking psychopath is already gonna mess up my face, I don't need to piss him off any further. Seriously. I don't.

He heard me say that, didn't he? He hears everything, y'know. For real, one time I mumbled something and he kicked me in the dick so hard I puked and cried and Nisha called me mean names and then they made out. It really sucked.

...Or did I dream that? Geez, I really need to stop working with these nutjobs. I can't even tell what's a awkwardly hot dream or real life anymore.

Comments

[divorcee]

[Just... all the murderous glaring, right at you, Tim.]

...

[studentloans]

( oh god please don't kick him in the dick he's still got dick bruises. have you ever had dick bruises? they fucking hurt, man. more importantly, time to get into character for the audience. ahem. )

Hey there, kiddo. You got something to ask ol' Handsome Jack?

i'm only peripherally involved w/this fandom but what a great username

[ajayya]

[ yeeeeeikes. just to be clear that he understands the situation: ]

The guy kicked you in the dick, and that's not a good enough reason for you to stop working for him already.

[ not that he isn't used to being treated like dirt himself, but dude. there has to be a line somewhere. ]

most relatable character in the series tbh

[studentloans]

( yep, you got it, ajay. timothy lives in a world of pain and extremely attractive people. it sucks. )

Thaaat's where it gets kinda tricky. I'm legally obligated to stick around for twenty years, otherwise the bomb in my face goes off.

( he grimaces. goddamn he hates his life. why didn't he just go to community college when he had the chance? )

Who even does that, y'know? Like who seriously puts a bomb in someone's face? A real piece of shit, that's who. Fuck that guy.

[ajayya]

A bomb...in your face.

[ okay. that's definitely a new one.

so, naturally, he can only think of one thing: ]

Is the money worth it, at least?

[studentloans]

It's technically not my face. There was a whole forced plastic surgery thing when I showed up for the job interview.

( is it worth it? that's a difficult question. is paying off his student loans worth constant abuse, being declared dead to his family, having all evidence of his existence erased all so he can pretend to be a huge douche? )

It's better than student loans.