New MCU OC's low self confidence is getting lower.

[kid_from_chukotka]

Dear Ms. Mundane,

I don't want to complain. I know I don't have a lot to complain about. I have a place to stay, a roof over my head, and... not quite freedom, but SHIELD leaves me alone enough that I think they understand I'm still working this whole time skip thing out. Really, I'm not sure how Captain America does it. It's a lot to get used to. Everything is pretty crazy, right now.

You think I should go to a game, I just - well, look at me. I haven't been able to get though a single conversation without ruining it. You may have based my idea off of Captain America and a fever dream, but maybe that wasn't the best combination. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have his confidence. I don't even have a high school level education. My mutant powers aren't the most refined, either. I feel like you need to play a version of me ten years into the future before you think about sending me anywhere. Maybe that way I'd know what I'm doing.

So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not useful enough to go anywhere right now. I'm not even sure I should be where I am. I'm sorry, ma'am.

Sincerely,

Iyla Gavrilov

Comments

[celestial_wizard]

Hey, chin up. If you want to be useful isn't the best option to go to a game where you can learn and grow?

[kid_from_chukotka]

I guess in theory that it might work, if it were the right sort of place, but most games don't take canon OC's, ma'am. It's a tall order.

[celestial_wizard]

That's.. true. Mmm, you could try one of the more lax games? Like that Genessia place, they accept all kinds. I was there for a while, until my mun decided she wanted more.

[kid_from_chukotka]

There are games that would take someone like me? [On the one hand, he really doesn't want to go to a game, but on the other, a part of him wants to see what all the fuss is about and maybe figure out how not to be such a burden.] I wasn't sure that was a thing that existed.

[celestial_wizard]

Well it's kind of more of a sandboxy game than anythhing -at least it was when I left. So it lets allsorts of people join in. Even canon ocs, I think. You should have your mun check it out.

[kid_from_chukotka]

I will. Thank you, Miss...?

[celestial_wizard]

Lucy! Lucy Heartfilia. And you are?

[kid_from_chukotka]

Ilya Gavrilov. It's nice to meet you, Miss Heartfilia.

[celestial_wizard]

Nice to meet you too Ilya. [ Grins. ]

[wild_child]

Hey, no feelin' sorry for yerself, bub. And ain't nothin' wrong with not havin' the fanciest mutant powers.


((And on a more OOC note, I'm one of the mods of an OC friendly next generation marvel game: http://nextgenerationmarvel.dreamwidth.org/ It's comic rather the movie-verse oriented, but we're always looking for new people! We've got quite an active X-Men, Avengers, and SHIELD scene these days, among others.))

[kid_from_chukotka]

[Gah. Pretty girl, talking to him. Words. Find words, Ilya. Preferably in English.] Ah, thank you. It's not so much that I feel sorry for myself, I just... I don't want to be a burden on anyone. That isn't fair to them.


[[OOC: That's really cool and I'm kind of flattered you'd drop me a line so directly. I'll have to work on his app to make him fit the game better but I think since he's unrelated to any one specific canon it'd be doable. (Really, any universe with a Steve could result in a universe with an Ilya.) So I'll do my best and we'll see if we can make this happen! Thanks so much for being so direct, I never would've found that on my own.]]

[wild_child]

Hey now. There's bein' a burden and there's needin' a helpin' hand. Big difference. Just a question of which one yer actually bein'.

[[OOC: Happy to help! And if you have any questions, just let me know. We're a pretty accommodating group on the whole]]

[kid_from_chukotka]

I don't know. My powers have really only had to come out when things were an emergency, you see... otherwise, I don't have very good control over them. That's worse than a burden, that could be dangerous, and I really don't want to hurt anyone. [He's hurt people before, without ever meaning to. His power would be impressive if it had any settings besides 'panic mode' and 'random flare up'. He scares himself a little. People have, on the whole, been good to him, and this is not what they deserve as payback.] My name's Ilya Gavrilov. And you are?


[[OOC: Thanks! I may shoot you some questions later, knowing me, but I'll try not to bombard you with them.]]

[wild_child]

Sounds like ya need the school I go to. What do ya do, anyway?

Name's Rose. Rose Logan.

[kid_from_chukotka]

For the most part, I spend my time trying to get an education. [He will never not feel humiliated by the fact he didn't even attend the equivalent of a high school.] I have a lot to catch up on. SHIELD monitors me due to the... unique circumstances of how my mutation manifested, and try to see if they can develop a program of their own to train mutants. It isn't going well, but they have good intentions.

It's very nice to meet you, Rose. I haven't had a chance to talk to another mutant before.

[wild_child]

Eh, SHIELD ain't bad... fer a buncha spyin' secret keepin' government goons. Fury's all right though. Ya'd like the Xavier Institute then. Mutant trainin' and regular schoolin'.

Not too many where you come from? Or just not the opportunity?

[kid_from_chukotka]

I might be a bit behind the rest of you when it comes to 'regular schooling'. But I will do everything I can to try to keep up with that, I promise.

Both. The town I was born in had less than two hundred people to it. And in Russia, if you're a mutant, you hide in a major city, or so the rumors went. I lived very far to the east and within the Arctic Circle. Major cities were a long way off.

[wild_child]

Eh, we got lots of classes. We'll fit ya in somewhere.

Weird. I grew up in the school. So I been around people like me all my life.

[kid_from_chukotka]

I didn't even know I was a mutant until recently. Before that, I'd only heard rumors - and those may not have been reliable. As far as my parents knew I was just a normal kid, and they had enough problem of their own to deal with because they were a mixed marriage.

[wild_child]

Ugh. That's gotta be rough. People're always findin' reasons ta be stupid.

[kid_from_chukotka]

It was. My mother was Chukchi and most of her family were disgusted with her, and my father was Russian and while his family was fine with it, most other white Russians weren't. But they cared about each other more than they cared about what other people thought, and I admire that.

[wild_child]

Dang Ruskies...

Er, sorry. No offense. M' family's just known a lot of crazy Russians.

[kid_from_chukotka]

[For a moment, Ilya's mouth drops open and he looks at her, dumbfounded. Confronted with such blatant disregard for manners his mind simply crashes, and struggles to reboot without getting angry.]

...um, I'm sorry, but - and I don't mean any offense here - the United States isn't, well, particularly known as the world's voice of reason. I think most countries have crazy people. It kinda comes with having people, period.

[wild_child]

Technically, I'm Canadian.

[She turns more serious.] Seriously, though, I apologize. I know ya get crazies everywhere. I got a bit of a mouth on me.

[kid_from_chukotka]

No, I... I should be used to it. I mean, people joke about Chukchis being stupid and I'm both half-Chukchi and hideously uneducated, so the stereotypes can't all be wrong. It's just odd, to think of the Russian part of me as something wrong with me, too. [If his mun ever gets his app written, there will be a lengthy section on internalized racism regarding the Chukchi thing. We don't need to add more self deprecation to the pile.] Everybody just kind of accepted the government was crooked, but... most people themselves were okay. Really.

[wild_child]

Well, ya know... it ain't everybody. The Russia back home's just made more than a few psychos with tentacles who tried ta kill my Pops. But those were the nutbags. Regular folk're great.

[kid_from_chukotka]

Psychos with tentacles. [He repeats it slowly, as if hoping he'd misheard her.] ...life is strange. But most people I knew were just, you know. Hunters, fisherman, government outpost workers, the occasional trader. I'm not actually even sure what the word for tentacle is in Russian. It didn't come up. [He lived just south of the Arctic Ocean; nothing with tentacles survived that kind of cold. Until SHIELD he'd never actually known a lot of animals existed or had vegetables to eat regularly.] So, um, your father has visited Russia? European Russia, I'm guessing, since, well, even when I meet other Russians they're never from my part of the country.

[wild_child]

Yeah. Pops' been pretty much everywhere.

[Granted, a lot of that was as a spy/secret agent and/or super-hero, but that's a bit besides the point.]

[kid_from_chukotka]

I might be out of place at the school, then. I've only been in two towns in my life and my parents were just hunters native to Ayon. I... I really don't have the same kind of background as most people at the school, I think. [He'll leave out that one of those towns was a gulag in the 1950's because quite frankly, he doesn't want to come across as begging for attention or demanding pity, and would involve a lot of explaining.] I'll try not to be too boring.

[wild_child]

Doubt you'll be all that borin'. We got people from all over the country and a few places outside it. Just got a new student the other day who ain't been all that far before either.

[kid_from_chukotka]

I never really had a chance to go far. I guess it sound stupid, but I always figured I was going to stay on the island I was born on, find someone to settle down with, and all of that... but I really can't see that far into the future now. With my powers, I'm not sure I'll ever get to settle down and live out that kind of dream.

But maybe it'll be different in America. I mean, clearly it already is, at least a little, if there's a whole part of a game with mutants and most of them have mutant parents. [He's a lonely person and has been all his life, from childhood on. If he just makes a few friends the whole effort will be well worth it.]

[wild_child]

Hey, ya never know what's gonna happen 'till it does. Life's fulla surprises.

The school's been a fresh start fer a lot of people. Might be one fer you too.

[kid_from_chukotka]

I guess you're right. It's just that most of the surprises in my life haven't been pleasant and I'm... I'm not sure how well I'll fit in at the school. [He feels stupid saying it or worrying about it, but then again, he was always a pushover when he was in school the first time around. And then there's the matter of how little he actually knows.] See, I only... um, well, the school systems are different but I really only have a fifth grade education by the standards of the US. [Please God, kill him now. Ilya looks at the ground, humiliated.] So. There's that.

[wild_child]

Hey, we take all kinds. About half the people there grew up in the school, so they've been goin' there forever, and we got people from all walks of life and educations. Ya'll be fine.

[kid_from_chukotka]

[He looks at Rose with a mixture of confusion and surprise.] You... you don't think I'm stupid or something? [Hope manages to creep into his voice, because she just shrugged that off and that's something no one's ever done with him before.]

[wild_child]

Stupid? [A little bit of confusion enters her voice.] Ya ain't stupid. Bein' smart ain't got that much ta do with schoolin' anyway.

[kid_from_chukotka]

Maybe that's how it seems to you, but I - you remember when I said my mother's Chukchi? The school didn't let me attend past when I was twelve, because of that. Because everyone knows Chukchi people are stupid anyway, so there was no point in wasting the teacher's time.

[wild_child]

Well, then they're the bunch of flippin' idiots. Nuts ta all of 'em.

[kid_from_chukotka]

[Ilya's brain just kind of shuts down at that. He's more than non-assertive, a lot of times he's a doormat. Some part of him, even if he'll never admit it, wonders if maybe people were right and he is dumb. But Rose didn't even pause to consider it. She doesn't filter anything, either, she just says things like they're gospel.

God, he wishes he were more like her.]

...thanks. I don't think anyone's ever stood up for me like that. Not someone who wasn't related to me, anyway.

[wild_child]

[She smirks a little.]

Stickin' up fer people seems ta be my thing. But yer welcome. If there's one thing I learned, bein' a mutant... ya don't let anybody define you but you.

I am so stuck on what to put in the 'sample post' section of the app. The rest is done.

[kid_from_chukotka]

That's a smart philosophy. I guess sometimes I just get too wrapped up in not wanting to upset people to say something, but... well, my mun's almost done with my app, so maybe when I'm in the game I'll learn how to change that a little.

If you want, you can actually link to this thread. we're good like that.

[wild_child]

I'm thinkin' ya will. Got a good feelin' about you, bub.

Wow, really? That's awesome!

[kid_from_chukotka]

Um, thanks. [He has to ask, though:] What does 'bub' mean?

Yup! We try to make it easy!

[wild_child]

It's just a word ya can use ta call somebody. Like guy or fellah or somethin' like that.

Thanks. The app should be done shortly, then.

[kid_from_chukotka]

Ah. I'm not really up on American slang, I guess. I'll try and learn it as I go along. [She makes it sound easy enough to give him a little confidence, anyway.]

Woo-hoo!

[wild_child]

Eh, I dunno if it's really American or not. I just picked it up from Pops.

[kid_from_chukotka]

Most of my Russian slang only works in Chukotka. I understand. Regional words are weird like that. [And given his backstory he now has outdated region-specific slang, making it doubly useless.]

[wild_child]

Eh, ain't nothin' wrong with that.