mun and old muse are grumpy about Spider-Verse (SPOILERS in the comments)

[bedeviledspider]

I teleported in and saved everyone at the last second.

Normally, I don't like to encourage useless little fantasies, but... sure. Let's go with your story. I prefer that version of events.

Comments

[mellowedwithage]

You heard too, huh?

[hungupthewebs]

It's a better version of events than what it looks like for now.

[What do you mean, he sounds a bit bitter?]

[bedeviledspider]

Of course I heard.

[ It's about her, after all. ]

We should have been there.

[ And he's trying hard to avoid thinking about why they weren't. ]

[bedeviledspider]

[ It's okay. He's used to Parker sounding bitter, at least around him. ]

Appearances can be deceiving.

...though I have to admit, I'm a little surprised you'd accept my help.

[mellowedwithage]

Don't you think I know that?!

You should know better than anyone how I feel about the Parker's.

[bedeviledspider]

Complete and utter contempt for the man and everything he stands for?

[ It's not a good joke. He knows it. But what little bit of Spider is still in him is clinging to the sarcasm, because being serious might mean admitting that they...

They failed. ]

Yeah, me too. Loathe the guy to pieces.

[mellowedwithage]

[Glares. While he appreciates the sentiment to lighten the mood, he didn't have the patience right now.]

Then I'm sure you'll enjoy dancing on his grave.

[hungupthewebs]

When it comes to my family?

[He can swallow his pride enough to say that. Just not actually admit that part.]

She can use all the help she can get.

[He's sore enough on the fact it doesn't look like he held that brute back to completely save the day.]

/slides in here

[hungupthewebs]

I'm sure you'd like that, wouldn't you?

[PETER NO]

[mellowedwithage]

[Ew, who invited you, Parker?]

Yes, I want nothing more than for your lovely daughter and precious baby boy to be left without anyone to take care of them.

Then again...

[Small smile.]

Rumpelstiltskin.

[KAINE NO.]

[hungupthewebs]

[If he paid attention to things like being invited places he'd, well, he'd probably still have two legs.]

Didn't have enough of that when you helped Osborn steal May away the first time that you want now Ben too?

[Oh yes he went there.]

[bedeviledspider]

[ Rolling his eyes as hard as he possibly can. Almost like this is a normal conversation. Almost. ]

Why, I'll be the life of the party.

[ Then, in almost a whisper: ] Look, as much as I "love" our usual banter, you don't think Parker's really—

[ He can't bring himself to finish that thought. ]

[bedeviledspider]

Kaine.

[ Translation: "Shut up." ]

[mellowedwithage]

[You still have a properly functioning nervous system. Forgive him if he doesn't feel bad for you.]

I thought I told you, Parker, I wanted everything you had. Just because your son is a new addition doesn't make him any less yours.

[One day he'll stop playing the villain Peter expects him to be.

One day.]

[bedeviledspider]

...Family, huh?

[ He doesn't even realize he's smiling at the word. Just a teeny, tiny little smile. To be honest, it's a weird sight. ]

I suppose I can sympathize with that.

[ There's more he wants to say -- wants to tell Peter, if anything, it's his fault for not being there, for not getting them to safety -- but he's already saying too much. ]

[mellowedwithage]

Not until I see a body.

...And even then...

[mellowedwithage]

[Waves a dismissing hand at Reilly. This is how they talk, kid.]

[bedeviledspider]

[ Is tempted to make a very rude gesture in response, but he holds himself back. ]

Ugh. As if you'd be any good with the kids, anyway, "Rumpelstiltskin".

[ After all, Reilly would know.

[bedeviledspider]

Right.

[ No shakiness in his voice, no way, he definitely wasn't worried about the possibility of Parker getting... hurt... at all! ]

Like what happened with Osborn.

[mellowedwithage]

[Nods. Though he looks calm, his fists are clenched so tightly, were his hands not encased in armor, he'd be drawing blood.]

Or me, when I was younger. A long, long time ago.

[mellowedwithage]

At least I'd be alive.

[You really don't need to tell him how awful he'd be with kids. Even if you weren't example #1-1,000,000.]

[hungupthewebs]

[Definitely weird, but Peter's seen stranger.]

Matt would have.

[It's not entirely uneasily said- it's not like he can forget that initial encounter when Darkdevil gave him that cryptic run around before revealing he knew his name, after all.]

[bedeviledspider]

I'm no expert on the subject, but I think there's more to parenting than that.

Seriously, have you even changed a diaper? You do realize one of them's a baby, right? I hear they're messy. Plus, you have to be nice to babies. Not scowl at them all day, for starters.

[ AS IF HE HAS ANY ROOM TO TALK. ]

[hungupthewebs]

[It's a circle of hate that probably won't ever stop until someone finally gives it up. They're both too stubborn for that.]

I don't care that May thinks you've reformed, you stay away from my family, Kaine.

[You'd think they'd stop considering how long it's been, or the fact that Kaine's helped May before, but no.]

[mellowedwithage]

I'm sure we know someone who'd be willing to help with that part.

And you first. I can't say I've ever seen you crack a smile, kid.