we can always use more dragonborn right?

[ruledbyseptims]

Tell you what, you make it so I don't have to walk all the way to Markarth again, and you've got a deal.

I can't promise I'll make it worth your while, but that's a risk you'll have to take. It's just like climbing into Draugr infested mines. Plenty of death, undeath, the occasional mystic artifact -- Divines, why do I keep running into them?-- but there's coin lining their pockets if you know where to look.

Comments

[shadowbug]

People like us keep finding artifacts because we're special snowflakes, don'tcha know.

[ruledbyseptims]

There ought to be much more snowflakes around here, don't you think?

[shadowbug]

But that'd be convenient.

And apparently that's not the kind of luck that Nocturnal feels like sharing.

[ruledbyseptims]

Luck's not something you get, more like something you make. At least for me, anyway.

[shadowbug]

Yeah, it's like that for most people. [Nichola winks.] But from what I hear on the metaphorical, all-knowing grapevine, you'll find out what I'm talking about sooner or later.

I'm kinda jealous. It was harder for me not to notice.

[ruledbyseptims]

Don't worry, my writer already knows the score. She's keeping it from me, though, probably so I can act surprised when the time comes, whenever that is. It seems an awful lot like extortion from where I'm sitting, and I think I'd know.

Let me guess, got caught stealing at the market when you were five?

[shadowbug]

Oh, you bet your ass it's extortion. I'd say it's their favorite game, but, y'know, where would we be if it wasn't?... Probably home, minding our own business, actually, so yeah. It's their favorite game.

Nah. More like "couldn't get caught if I tried." And I did, a couple of times. Just to see. Sometimes it's natural skill, and I'm not saying I'm not damn good at my job, but, y'know. There are limits.

[ruledbyseptims]

I think I'll take the extortion, then. Sitting at home gets old much faster.

Huh. Even broad daylight with the guards watching? No misplaced invisibility potions?

[shadowbug]

I'm not sure how I feel about any of this, if you'd believe it. I'd like to be in control of everything that has to do with me, but, then again, that's not exactly something I've got back home, either.

They all conveniently looked away. Not even in the same direction, so I couldn't blame it on somebody trying to cover my ass when I didn't want it. I was so mad I almost turned myself in.

[ruledbyseptims]

If there's gold in it, I'll probably do it once, maybe several times, I admit. And hey, it'll give the bards something new to sing about, wouldn't it?

That's... impressive. And a little scary. Would pickpocketing some of the goods into their pockets make it seem more legitimate across the board? Get a little good deed in, too. And some practice. 'Course, that means missing out on some baubles, but I'd've probably sold the damn jewels anyway.

[shadowbug]

True enough. Doesn't matter if anybody believes the story if it's good enough.

[She snorts at good deed.] If I'm gonna go all soft, I'd rather them know I'm the one they got it from. [She says it like it's a bad thing, just giving things out, but it's not like she hasn't done it before. Stolen shit to feed someone who can't pay her for it. But at least what she's saying is true; she always makes sure they have a face attached to the deed. She likes the attention.]

[ruledbyseptims]

Make it the truth, and they won't for sure.

Write a note, then. "You've been reverse pickpocketed by insert your pseudonym here." [Her good deeds tend to come from diving into various caves and clearing them out. Sure, there's gold in it, but she agrees to pitch in way more often when she could raise more funds out of people's pockets in an hour.]

[shadowbug]

[She outright laughs at that.] "Shadowbug, the Generous Outlaw." Not sure if it's got that good of a ring to it.

[ruledbyseptims]

Oh, no, never say outlaw. That's how you start getting bounties out of spite.

[shadowbug]

[Aaaand she laughs again.] Like I don't have more septims than the Divines? At least I'd have something to spend it on.

[ruledbyseptims]

It's the principle of the thing.

[shadowbug]

[... PFFFFFFFFFFFFT.] What principle? Being known as a ~law-breaker~? Getting caught?

[ruledbyseptims]

Er, yes? Generally, it's preferable to not get caught. I thought that was covered in the basic thieving manual.

[shadowbug]

[dismissive handwave] Getting caught isn't the problem. That just makes it more exciting. Getting caught and not being able to get away are two entirely different things. Sometimes, getting noticed is exactly what you want. Depends on the job, right? Not everything needs to be literally cloak and dagger.

[ruledbyseptims]

It'd be more like cloak and arrow in my case, but... get in, get the goods, get out, that's all there is to it. Getting caught adds complications. I mean, I know we've all gotten chased out of a manor with mercenaries on our tail at least once, but that's not the ideal situation. Much better when they don't know you've been there at all.

[shadowbug]

[Awwwwwwww. Look at the newbie, thinking she knows bette...

Wait. No, are you -- actually confused?? Is it actually okay for Nichola to give pointers?? You're not being sarcastic? This earns something of a skeptical, studious stare as Nichola sizes her up.

... okay. Alright.]

No, but "get in, steal shit, get out" is the simplest it gets. Not everything's that easy. Sometimes, you need to make sure that people know that the Guild is responsible. Make people fear us again. Respect us. If they don't know for sure who it is, that doesn't always happen.

You just gotta be careful. Plan it out in advance. Know your escape routes ahead of time, have people there ready to cover your ass.

[ruledbyseptims]

[...Um. She's not... five, you know?]

Not all of us can have the guards just look the other way without having to bribe them first. Sure, there's a time to show people who's boss, but generally speaking, a priceless heirloom going missing only to conveniently end up in a shop a few days later doesn't leave many guesses as to what's up. At least, that's what the letters I've picked up from those hired thugs have taught me.

[shadowbug]

Not always selling to a shop. Something like a priceless heirloom, there's a specific buyer who's hiring the Guild to go pick something up. In which case, it's their problem if they wave it around like a flag. Everyone still knows who did the footwork, because who else could?

Even if you pick something random to hock and it ends up being more important than you think, you gotta be smart about who you sell it to. Get it to your fences, and they'll take care of it from there, that's their job.

Hired thugs are morons.

[ruledbyseptims]

Oh, no, my plan was always to immediately offload it onto the first person I found. I think I might do a victory dance, too, what do you think, would that be attention getting enough? Hmm, maybe not. What's the going prices on gem encrusted circlets these days, do you think?

Wait, were you saying something else? Sorry, I stopped paying attention once it became clear that you're just being stubborn and ridiculous about all this. If I wanted to argue with a brick wall, I'd go find a frost troll and prop it up against a cliff.

[shadowbug]

[uuuuuuuuuup go the eyebrows]

Why bother with the troll? Just go find a diamond mine, give yourself a challenge. You can do it. I believe in you.

[ruledbyseptims]

Only challenge there is figuring out how to carry it all out.

[shadowbug]

[Nichola actually laughs.] Hey, since it was my idea, do I get a cut?

[ruledbyseptims]

Hmm, I don't know. It's not really that original... I could cut you in at ten percent?

[shadowbug]

I can live with that.

[ruledbyseptims]

Pleasure doin' business with you.

[shadowbug]

[Nichola gives a sarcastic two-finger salute. She's outtie. This was unpleasant at best.]

[milkdrinker]

Khajiit has often wondered about such coin. It hardly seems they would find much use in those dank tombs, no?

[ruledbyseptims]

No, not usually. But there's no rule against trying to take it with you.

[milkdrinker]

No, perhaps not. But the sword they raise against you for the attempt is one mighty deterrent.

[ The thought is enough to make him shudder. No, he's not much a fan of dungeon diving, why do you ask? ]

[ruledbyseptims]

Could be worse. Could have a necromancer stirring them up.

[Her magic resistance isn't great ok.]

[cheese_for_everyone]

A pleasure to see you again or is this the first time? It's so hard to keep track.

[ruledbyseptims]

It's definitely the first from where I'm standing. It might be different over there, I wouldn't really know.

[cheese_for_everyone]

Then we might never meet. I suppose it depends on how often you take requests from random strangers.

[ruledbyseptims]

That usually depends on the request more than the stranger.

[godofschemes]

Have I perhaps bestowed my Mace upon the wrong Champion?

{ You did take it, right? Right? And it's here with you? }

[ruledbyseptims]

I haven't run across any maces that weren't previously owned by Draugrs, sorry.

[Sorry, she's only run into Meridia (and her giant undead murdering sword) so far.]

[godofschemes]

A Draugr. What a pity.

{ Ah, yes, the other Daedric Prince that he can't stand, behind Boethiah (and Malacath, but nobody else likes him either). }

It seems you and I have not yet met. In due time, Dragonborn. In due time.

[ruledbyseptims]

I'll keep an eye out. That's about all I can do from where I'm standing.

[godofschemes]

This wretched place, while blissfully free of Boethiah, has stirred my disgust more than the worms that infest Nirn have. I had hoped that I might see for myself how long it takes the soul of a dragon to break in Coldharbour, but yet my mundane insults me by bringing me here.

And with Sheogorath.

{ He practically spits the name of the Mad God. }

[ruledbyseptims]

You might want to take it up with them, then.

[She knows better than to get mixed up in Daedric politics.]