Applying to alteredstates!

[whammied]

Wait. So you're telling me that I'm going to be crossing dimensions, no artifacts involved, and probably won't be going home any time soon? Say whaaat?

[It won't be so bad! And hopefully some of the other agents will be there to keep your ass in line.]

Alright, fine. I suppose can get down with going to New York, especially if my chicks are there.

[Don't forget about the super powers.]

Super powers? SUPER. POWERS. Hey, hey, hey! Make that getting down with it double if that's the case. Just make sure my power is cool. You know, something with a catchy phrase like 'it's a bird, it's a plane, it's that swoon-worthy superhero Pete Lattimer!'

[...]

Aw come on! I'm just saying, it'd be you know, practical and stuff. Nobody needs a guy who who can guess the amount of paper clips in a box or something totally lame. Just think about it, okay? Think about it and then make me awesome. No. Wait. Awesomer.

Comments

[thedetails]

[ ...

Why, Pete. Why. ]

You do actually realize there is nothing cool about this, right?

[whammied]

Wrong.

[Giant shit eating grin.]

No wait. You're right. It's not "cool"... IT'S TOTALLY MAJORLY EXCEPTIONALLY COOL.

[thedetails]

You really are seven years old.

[ Even the super power thing is not getting Myka worked up for this specific adventure. Actually, the super power thing is making her less excited about it, if that's even possible. ]

Pete, we're being kidnapped. Into an alternate dimension. With no hope of escape. There is absolutely nothing that can make that cool!

[whammied]

Seven? No I need to be at least I don't know. Fifteen? [Without puberty all those fangirls would be a waste.] Sixteen maybe...

[While he's thinking on this Very Important quandry, the other stuff sort of goes in one ear and out the other.]

Well, okay that permanent part about it could stand some help in the cool department but the rest of it? Definitely cool.

[thedetails]

[ In response to the first statement, Myka simply balls up her fist and slams it into his shoulder. ]

Can you focus for just five minutes and think about the actual ramifications of this? No artifact, Pete. Stuck in New York forever, Pete. Pretty sure this is one of those "downside outweighs the cool parts" situations.

[whammied]

Okay if I don't get x-ray vision [suggestive grin goes here] then I really hope I can turn my skin into granite or something because ow.

[Pete does his best painful pout.]

Ramifications, schmamifications. It's not like we can talk the writers out of it. Not mine anyways. Do you know how stubborn she is? Probably more than you and that just makes it plain scary. Scary enough I'm not even going to remark on how hot she may or may not be.

[thedetails]

Both me and my writer are acutely aware of how stubborn she is. [ And how hot she is but that's besides the point. ] Mine is pretty stubborn, too. I'm thinking less about talking them out of it and more along the lines of... Heavily suggesting that they avoid doing anything awful to us.

[ Yeah, good luck with that, Myka. ] You are not allowed to have x-ray vision. No.

[whammied]

See, you're already planning for the eventuality that its going to come true. And planning for that means planning for powers~ [Pete definitely said powers in a sing-song voice.] Gotta embrace the good parts Mykes!

[A moment of contemplation.]

Okay, how about telekinesis then? [Sometimes getting bras off is a lot of work, okay man.] I'd be game for that.

[thedetails]

[ She punches him again. In the same shoulder, too, just to make sure it hurts more. ]

Will you please stop thinking about how to take off women's clothes with your powers and help me figure out what we are going to do about this?

[whammied]

Ow. [Whiiiine.] And that's not what I was thinking about!

[Pause.]

Okay, I was but I was thinking about other stuff too! Like, um, you know saving people from danger and other... stuff.

[thedetails]

You know what? Fine. Fine. I give up. You go play super hero and I'll just... I don't know. Be the adult. Like usual.

[ You are so in the doghouse, Pete. No more limited edition comic books for you. ]

[whammied]

You know you're going to get a power too, whether you like it or not. Better start campaigning for a good one or you're gonna end up with something like turning grapes sour.

[thedetails]

I- I- I am not that bad! [ Oh, she so is. But come on, raise your hand if you are surprised that Myka Bering is totally turned off by this whole idea. /crickets. ] We have enough to deal with at home with artifacts. A permanent whammy wasn't exactly on my to-do list.

[whammied]

Yeah, well, whammies sort of do what they want. Better you try and use your influence for this mother-of-all whammies, especially if your writer is as cheeky as they sound.

[A bit more affectionate since, well, she is his partner and best friend.]

And you did a pretty bang up job filling in for Wonder Woman that time you know.

[thedetails]

[ That gives Myka pause and she tilts her head, grinning a little bit. ]

Yeah. I did kind of kick ass that time, didn't I? [ She gets a little dreamy for a moment before she remembers she's still mad at him. ] I'm not sucking up to anyone to get a good whammy, Pete. Especially not to her.

[groovytechchick]

Swoon-worthy? Dude, seriously? Aren't we suppose to be trying to talk these cray chicks out of sending us there?

[whammied]

Seriously! You've got to know that super heroes get all the ladies.

[Duh.]

If we're getting taken from our universe anyways, I'm not going to complain about showing up somewhere where I'm even more of a bad ass than I already am.

[groovytechchick]

[Claudia's just going to shake her head at that one.]

Right, so you can be... Wait a minute! I totally got it! Captain IRS.

[She flashes him a bright ass grin because well it's a pretty good joke.]

[whammied]

[Pete puts on a face of over-exaggerated mock offense but only long enough to come up with a come back.]

And you can be my kid sidekick Robin!

[Yep. That's it. Just Robin.]

[groovytechchick]

Fool, I'm no one's sidekick.

[Her eyebrow lift.]

Has Myka hit you yet?

[whammied]

[Okay, stepping back just enough that Claudia can't reach him.]

...Nooooo?

[And by no he means yes. She's already hit him once and there's probably more on the way.]

[groovytechchick]

[Does she look dumb? She figures that Myka's punched him at least twice by now, maybe even three times.]

She leave a bruise?

[MOVING ON.]

You've already starting designing your costume, huh?

[whammied]

I think I have a permanent bruise so, yes I guess? [Which he both earns and deserves. Regularly.]

Hell yeah I have. I'm thinking something that shows off the guns [fleeeex] and maybe with cape.

[groovytechchick]

[Right now would be the perfect time to face palm because well, Pete.]

Uh, Pete? You've watched The Incredibles, right?

[whammied]

Ohhhh. Right. Okay so ix nay on the cape. [Hmmn.] Do you think I can pull off the Clark Kent thing? You know, glasses that somehow, mysteriously, make me completely unrecognizable.

[Waitaminute.]

Dude! Superman totally had artifact glasses!!

[groovytechchick]

Duh. You're just now figuring that one out?

[Pffft. Comic guru? Whatevs.]

[whammied]

Hey, I hadn't had time to think about it before!

[He's been too busy re-reading the first chapter in the manual over and over because he always falls asleep halfway through.]

So. [Knowing grin.] What kinda super power do you want, hmmn?

[liesdetected]

Somehow that sounds too good to be true.

[whammied]

The part that ends with you having the chance to see me running around in a skin tight spandex suit? It's okay if that's your fantasy Jinks, I won't judge.

[It's very possible that Pete couldn't look any prouder of himself while simultaneously being a complete tool.]

[liesdetected]

You know Pete, sometimes I think you are trying to come out to me. It's okay, just be honest with yourself. You want some of this.

[whammied]

[Damn you Jinks. Pete actually chokes on his self-satisfied laughter. Still, he's got a retort at the ready.]

No but I do know you've got pretty dismal options for eye candy in South Dakota. It's either me or Artie and, well... [Annnnd ew.] I don't mind helping a brother out.

[liesdetected]

I know where to look. I have plenty of eye candy to be had.

You just want me checking out your ass.

[ladycuckoo]

Your chicks? What are you, Charlie and we your angels? Dreams on. We only keep you around, because every court needs it's jester.

And Awesomer isn't a word.

[whammied]

You guys would look great in the Angels' wardrobe.

[Still, maybe a little sulky and childish when he goes on.]

And whatever lady. Internet wasn't a word back in your day and it's definitely a word now.

[ladycuckoo]

And it be marvelous never to have to see your face. I'd much rather you were just a voice in a box. I mean you're already so easy to turn off and on.

[The tease would be more playful if she didn't sound a bit sinister.]

No, it was, but only because there lacked a need for it. Linguistics is an ever evolving study that increases with each passing generation and increases in technology and education. There is no need for the word awesomer as you can already say more awesome or even increasingly magnificent.

[whammied]

[Cue Pete putting his face all up in the screen. Take that, all the Lattimer face you can handle!]

Aw HG... You just called me increasingly magnificent!

[ :D :D :D ]

[ladycuckoo]

[She exaggeratedly rolled her eyes. He was such a puppy.]

I said you could say that.

[damncompass]

Holy mother of God, that is the last thing the multiverse needs. Pete Lattimer with super powers.

... although being actually able to teleport could be useful.