canon is The Princess Novels by Jim C Hines

[scintillates]

Well, you aren't the first person who's promised to take me to the stars. Somehow I think my - suitors meant it a little less literally, though.

...I also think I would have preferred what they were offering. I do actually take my job seriously, you know. I can't very well guard a princess when there's no princess to guard.

Comments

[asingleprick]

[Yeah, and that doesn't mean she has to agree with them, okay.] It's possible. [But no.]

I- [A vaguely uncomfortable look passes over Talia's face as she glances away and begins to balance on the balls of her feet.] It's not the same.

[scintillates]

But not likely? [A faintly whimsical smile, all for you, Talia.

Which quickly disappears when she realises. She opens her mouth to speak, winces, looks away. SUPER SUBTLE AND CASUAL YO] All right, perhaps not. [a dramatic sigh] You never did have any appreciation for a good rhyme.

[asingleprick]

[A quick shake of her head.

Right. This is awkward.

She hates awkward.] I have you and Danielle for that, don't I?

[scintillates]

[WHY IS THIS SO AWKWARD IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT TALIA] Danielle doesn't sing with me, though. Not that you do, either.

[asingleprick]

[SHE'S NOT THE ONE WHO STARTED HITTING ON HERSELF!!] You know why that is.

[scintillates]

[SHE DIDN'T HIT ON HER ON PURPOSE OKAY! THERE USED TO BE A TIME WHEN SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IF SHE WAS ACCIDENTALLY HITTING ON HER!!] It's probably a good thing. You'd be so much better at it than me. [there's a pause, before she launches into one of her pirate songs]

[asingleprick]

[:|||||||||||] You're right. [smug smug smuuuuuuuuuug

And then a groan.

And a small shove.] Do you really have to now?

[scintillates]

[Stumbling, grabbing a hold of Talia's arm to make sure she doesn't fall over] Yes. [Keeps singing :'D]

[asingleprick]

[She's going to find a cliff and throw you off of it.

...

....

But at least Snow sounds happy.]

[scintillates]

'And a bottle of' - why is it rum, do you think? Why not beer, or whiskey?

[asingleprick]

Doesn't sound as good. I don't know why people sing what they do, Snow.

[scintillates]

I thought you might have more of an idea about pirates than I did. [side eyeing] Being so friendly with Queen Bea's Captain, and all.

[asingleprick]

[:|

8|]

The Captain isn't exactly a pirate, is she?