On Teleios (also at dear_player)

[solo_patria]

Remove me from the fucking game at once. You've seen me when you force me into things I do not want to do, and I very much do not want to be there. They have tried their best to take Combeferre from me, and it has been working, might I add? ,to force me into servitude by calling themselves "gods" and passing judgment on me when they have no right, and proving, through their false charges that they disregard me and those who I am no longer with. They have taken everything that was remotely going to be good about the place from me and I will never be able to get it back.

I would rather die altogether than spend one second longer in that place. Tell them that you are too busy, and that you've decided no to dragging me through all of it. There is nothing there to make me happy since they've been allowed to take him from me and shove all of us into slavery without even allowing us to be together for one moment of the day.

I am through. And I will make your experience there miserable until you've pulled me from the game.

-A. Enjolras

Comments

[philosophe]

You are overreacting, my dear. I am still with you, even though we do not live together; and we may well change that if you are only patient. As it stands, I am grateful to be with you once more, and we shall consider how best to change things when we have been there longer than a month.

[solo_patria]

It has been a lifetime, more than one. I cannot...if we are constantly kept from each other what else am I meant to think? I cannot manage this. I want to die. Death would have been better. I wish that Malicant had managed it, for me.

[philosophe]

We are not -- you are not being at all reasonable. It is not a prison, we are not forced away from each other; we share meals and I see you as often as I might. I do not like their rules, either, but you must -- perhaps, be somewhat more lenient.

[There's a little smile.] Do be careful, my dear, you grow to sound like Pontmercy.

[solo_patria]

I start to see, more and more, every day, how he was right about some of this. And it is not only that, it is all of it added into one. I do not...I cannot even...

How can anyone go on like this?

[philosophe]

With patience. [--And he's going to pull Enjolras into a hug, there.] You will get used to it. It is not so bad as all of that, there is no Malicant bent on destroying the lot of us.

Perhaps you might think of it as helping the people, in stead of repaying a debt?

[solo_patria]

Once, I think I could have. Now...

[He's just shaking his head, going a little stiff, and biting his lip.]

Playing along with them still lets them win, does it not? And I cannot fight it, or do anything. What point is there if they will always win? You're right it is not so bad. It is worse. I do not see a way out of it, and if it does not exist, and this is my reality...

I am not even angry, I just know that there is nothing I can do, and so there is no point in even looking, is there? Just praying for death, Pontmercy style. How very ironic, isn't it?

[philosophe]

I did not say we should not fight it. We cannot let them win, we are not prisoners, any sins we may have committed we have paid for. Just -- have patience, my love. I am here.

We will get settled, we will make friends, and we will start anew. I am reasonably certain that a majority of the people feel the same way as we do. We will find a way out. Have faith.

[solo_patria]

How am I even to believe that when they take steps to keep us from each other, and will someday manage it completely? There is nothing to have faith in, because it returns to the same place in the end. I suppose I ought to just resign myself to that right now.

The only thing to do is to get out, now, before it becomes too hard for even that.

[philosophe]

'Take steps'? What steps have they taken, aside from assigning us rooms? They do not outlaw you coming to my rooms, or I to yours. I will not let us be parted again, you have my word.

I suppose I out to resign myself to the fact that you are acting like a fool.

[dawnoftruth]

With dozens of other people about? There is no way it can be managed, and there is nowhere we'll even be alone. I am not strong like Feuilly, and I cannot...It is impossible, in any case. I can never accept this and you will never be able to make me see what you think of as sense.

It seems we are at an impasse and they've already won. I will go now. It will be easier to get used to it here than there.