Thanks for the advice...

[aphoenixsong]

Attentions fade and renew themselves - stronger than ever - consistently. I am not deterred by your absence - nor should you be deterred by mine. We are busy with our lives and living. All I can ask of you is that you accept your talents and your flaws and reach for your dreams with every breath you take.

That - and that alone - is the only way that one can experience a fulfilling existence.

Comments

[tricksandmischief]

A very nice sentiment.

[aphoenixsong]

The truth often is for those willing to listen.

[tricksandmischief]

Or maybe you're too sentimental.

[aphoenixsong]

I will admit to being more than slightly sentimental, yet I do not think said sentimentality interferes with my ability to see the truth.

[darkart]

And your dreams, Headmaster?

[ Wryly. Severus remains deeply skeptical of blandly hopeful encouragement, given everyone's lives. ]

[aphoenixsong]

My dreams have changed frequently over the years. Would you like to hear about the current ones or those long past, Severus?

[darkart]

Why do you bother with them at all?

[aphoenixsong]

One should never give up on their dreams.

[darkart]

I feel like that's a notion meant for people living distinctly outside our times.

[ Constant war. Child sacrifices. What if Severus's dream is to have fucked up less. Too damn bad. ]

[aphoenixsong]

I must disagree! There is never a better time to dream than when one is surrounded by the dark.

[There's a dream they share!]

[darkart]

I'll abstain.

[aphoenixsong]

I hope something or someone comes along to change your mind.

For the interim, allow me to share with you a very old dream:

I was once a very foolish young man. I imagined that the Magical World could guide and protect the Muggle World. You have, no doubt, heard of Gellert Grindelwald, yes? He was my best friend.

[Perhaps more, but that's private.]

We planned for every reaction - both positive and negative - and outlined solutions for keeping the Muggles in control. A truly disgusting notion in hindsight, I admit. Regardless, we were ready to put our plans into action.

Thankfully, after certain ominous incidences, I came to my senses. The cost I paid for my foolishness was great. I will never forget my actions - nor the blood on my hands.

Yet...even so...

I am truly stubborn when it comes to my dreams. No one can take them from me.

[darkart]

[ Severus gives him a flat look at first. What, someone like Lily Evans? He's been down this path, Albus. ]

I believe that story is why you trust me. [ He can read between the lines about Gellert. There's really no hiding it from someone else who's had his heart broken. ] But I also believe that you would trust me less if I thought I had a future outside of doing my job.

[ It must be nice for all those children (.. who aren't in Slytherin) who get to have dreams at all. ]

[aphoenixsong]

[First loves are always the hardest to forget.]

Indeed. [In a way, his actions were worse. Not only did he defeat his best friend and lead to his life-long imprisonment, but he also might be guilty of killing his sister. Actually, scratch the "might be". He blames himself whether his spell killed her or not.]

You are mistaken where that is concerned, Severus. I have hope that the war will end, that Harry will be triumphant and that you will begin anew.

[Except...no. He's lying.

But Severus is so young. It's unfair.]

[darkart]

Albus.

[ That's it that's the response. Severus may be young, but he isn't stupid. He knows there's no hope for him outside of being an instrument in the war. ]

[aphoenixsong]

How old are you? [Not nearly old enough - and that makes Albus feel tired.] Our futures are grim, but that isn't the end.

[darkart]

Twenty-four. [ A beat. ] Twenty-five, I think.

[ He's on a dang space ship, who knows. But it was December when he was abducted to spacehell and his birthday is in January, so who cares.

The point is-- he's been teaching for a few years, and while he's had some time to unwind from always being on edge around Dumbledore, constantly expecting to be sent to Azkaban, he's not quite at the point where he really trusts him. Part of him wants to, because he's never had an authority figure ever treat him well (besides, you know, Voldemort), but it's difficult for him.

For a million reasons. ]

I don't think I want an afterlife.