Dragging him kicking and screaming out of retirement to ryslig

[cancercarcino]

YOU KNOW, JUST ONCE I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL ACTUALLY GOES ON IN THAT DEMENTED THINK PAN OF YOURS.
I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING MY TIME AWAY FROM YOUR SHITTY PLANS AND PLOTTING AROUND, BECAUSE IT MEANT I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I'D BE PLACED IN IMMEDIATE BODILY HARM OR SUBJECTED TO ONE OF THE MANY HUMILIATIONS THAT YOU FUCKING MUNS TEND TO CONCOCT FOR YOUR OWN SICK AMUSEMENT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH ME, AND HONESTLY I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE WITH YOU JUST KICKING ME OUT AND FINDING SOME OTHER DUNKASS TO PISS AROUND WITH.
BUT NO, YOU JUST *HAD* TO GO AND FIND THAT STUPID GAME AND DRAG ME BACK INTO ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR GODDAMN MESSED UP "FUN TIMES" DIDN'T YOU?
WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST PERFORATE MY BULGE WITH A CULLING FORK? THAT WOULD BE INFINITELY LESS PAINFUL THAN PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SHIT.
AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO SELL ME ON THE CONCEPT OF HAVING THE PLEASURE OF BEING MUTATED EVEN FURTHER INTO AN EVEN BIGGER ABOMINATION AGAINST ALL THINGS NATURAL, BECAUSE NEWSFLASH! I'M NOT BUYING INTO YOUR BULLSHIT!
HAS IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT I DON'T PARTICULARLY *WANT* TO TURN INTO A RAINBOW DRINKER, OR A DEVIL-BEAST OR SOME OTHER MONSTROSITY??
OF FUCKING COURSE IT HASN'T BECAUSE TALKING TO YOU IS LIKE TALKING TO A DEAF CHOLERBEAR WHO'S PASSED OUT FROM DROWNING ITSELF IN A PUDDLE OF ITS OWN VOMIT AFTER EATING SOMETHING PARTICULARLY RANCID.
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT, I'M DONE BASHING MY SKULL AGAINST THE METAPHORICAL WALL THAT IS YOUR ABILITY TO LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, I'M FUCKING RESIGNED TO MY FATE AT THIS POINT.

Comments

[accept_the_consequences]

wow it must be a universal constant that all versions of you cant help but yell
human or troll it hasnt changed a thing
i actually sort of missed it

[cancercarcino]

AND ONCE AGAIN WE HAVE ONE DAVE STRIDER, HERE TO EVER SO FAITHFULLY COMMENT ON SHIT THAT DOESN'T NEED TO BE COMMENTED ON.
THANK YOU, STRIDER, FOR RESPONDING TO MY GENUINE DISTRESS AND OVERALL FUCKING ANNOYANCE AT MY SITUATION WITH EVEN MORE OF YOUR PAN-NUMBING BLETHER.

WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HUMAN OR TROLL?

[accept_the_consequences]

in my universe you are human
we were classmates actually

[cancercarcino]

OH, IS IT ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE WEIRD ALTERNATE UNIVERSE THINGS?
I'VE PRETTY MUCH LOST TRACK OF HOW MANY OF THOSE THINGS THERE ARE AND HOW MANY ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF MYSELF THERE ARE KICKING AROUND IN THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF A PLACE.

[accept_the_consequences]

yeah i wouldnt even know what a troll was without meeting a couple of you guys first

havent seen my version of you around here
i hope he is doing alright wherever he is
certainly doesnt deserve the bullshit he has to deal with right now

[cancercarcino]

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO KNOW THAT EVEN ALTERNATE TIMELINE VERSIONS OF ME ARE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH NOTHING BUT SHIT.
I SWEAR, ALL VARIATIONS OF MYSELF JUST EXIST SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF MAKING THE UNIVERSE LAUGH.
GRANTED YOU'RE THE FIRST DAVE I'VE SPOKEN TO IN A WHILE, SO I GUESS I CAN'T REALLY SAY ANYTHING CAN I?

[accept_the_consequences]

though its the same shit everyone in our class has to deal with now
namely the empire drugging us, putting us on a deserted island and telling us to fight to the death
pretty much went downhill from there

[cancercarcino]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK STRIDER??
SURE THE CONDESCE COULD PUT IN SOME BATSHIT CRAZY LAWS IN PLACE BUT THEY'RE NOT THAT TWISTED.
WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP SHITHIVE MAGGOTS UNIVERSE DO YOU LIVE IN.

It's an interesting AU comic by the way if you don't mind gore

[accept_the_consequences]

i dont know our empress seemed pretty keen on letting it happen
i think its a show of power since not everyone agreed with the empire taking over

it is seriously fucked though
cant even really tell you how most people from our class are doing
i was with harley most of the time trying to keep us both alive

about the only updates i got on people were the death announcements that scratch put over the PA system every day

I think I've heard of it actually! Also will be at a convention this weekend so will be very slow

[cancercarcino]

HOLY SHIT.
THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE YOUR GUYS' LIFE IS WORSE THAN MINE.
THEN AGAIN LIFE ON ALTERNIA WAS KIND OF A SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST KIND OF THING, SO I CAN SEE HOW SOME HIGHBLOODS MIGHT TURN THAT INTO A SPORTING EVENT.
STILL, IT'S PRETTY FUCKED UP BY THE SOUNDS OF IT.

its quite the gory bundle of drama, and no worries I'll reply to tags as you send them ^^

[accept_the_consequences]

wait
highbloods?

let me guess
eridan is one of these highbloods
and here he had me thinking that you were all sociopaths by human standards

I return!

[cancercarcino]

WHAT? HE SAID THAT??
OKAY, GRANTED THERE'S SOME CULTURAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TROLLS AND HUMANS AND I'VE HEARD ENOUGH ABOUT HOW SOME PRACTICES THAT WERE PERFECTLY NORMAL ON ALTERNIA WERE APPARENTLY SINS AGAINST WHATEVER PRIMITIVE DEITIES YOU WORSHIPPED, BUT NOT ALL OF US ARE SHITHIVE MAGGOTS.
AND YES, HE'S A HIGHBLOOD.

welcome back

[accept_the_consequences]

yeah he said there was probably death matches like that on your planet or some shit
i was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because the empire is pretty fucked up too
but it did have me worried that i might have to watch my back around you all

thank owo

[cancercarcino]

HEY, NOT ALL OF US TROLLS ARE MURDER-HAPPY FUCKWITS.
THOUGH SOME OF US ARE, BUT FROM MY WORLD BOTH YOU AND ROSE ARE ABLE TO GET ALONG FINE WITH US WHEN WE MEET UP ON THE METEOR.
WE'RE NOT JUST GOING TO STAB YOU FOR NO REASON.
FOR THE MOST PART AT LEAST.

[accept_the_consequences]

good to hear

im definitely more inclined to believe you considering my version of eridan left the last impression of chasing me with a machine gun
no idea where my version of karkat was
likely just hiding like me and harley
trying to find a non-murdery way out of the mess