SO HOMELESS but it had to be done

[rocket_raccoon]

YOU wanna play ME??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Look humie, you ain't got the skills, muchness, or moolah to get my voice right. You're better off packin' your sorry ass up and high-tailin' it homeward, 'cause ain't no thing in the universe that can get me but me. Y'got that??

So what if you've got me trapped in your head? I've escaped twenty-two prisons in my day, and trust me, your brain ain't the big mystery you think it is.

Comments

hover for translation

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

can i just say that- that's AMAZING. and brilliant. i love it.

[rocket_raccoon]

So the other idiots in this humie's brain is sayin'. I don't buy it. She ain't ever dealt with the likes o' me before.

Thank you! (coding's in my journal if you have any need of it)

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

awesome-sauce

[rocket_raccoon]

Damn right I will. She's gonna wish she'd never met me.

Re: awesome-sauce

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

Since when do i care what the rest o' their kind thinks? If I bust outta here, I ain't lookin' back to cry over it.

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

What're you talkin' about? I'd be liberating 'em!

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

Yeah, well that's their problem, then.

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

It's like you don't even know me or somethin'.

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

.. Yeah, well. Lotta good you're doin' me right now with how well ya know me, just lettin' me sit in some humie's head for her own personal entertainment.

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT.

[rocket_raccoon]

Damn right you would've. Like I'd let you hang around so much otherwise.

[He loves you, Groot. Really.]

[i_am_groot]

[Wood creaks into a smile, along with a deep, throaty, laugh. Groot understands the meaning quite well.]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

Yeah, you're lucky like that.

But knowin' you, you'd go and make friends with the humie or somethin' like that.

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

See, now I'm thinkin' that you just like small things.

[i_am_groot]

[There is the sound of woody laughter.]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

Y'know, if you were anyone else you'd be gettin' a full round o' shots to the friggin' face right now.

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

Good. [He's frowning, though. There's an implied "You'd better, or else."]

So what's your humie puppeteer got in the works for ya, huh? Upholdin' the peace?

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[rocket_raccoon]

Hey, a trip out there doesn't sound half bad, so long as the guy's payin' ya. If you got in the ring, you'd prob'ly kick some serious ass.

[ihearyouthink]

Good heavens.

[A talking raccoon. Charles couldn't look more thrilled to bits if he tried.]

[rocket_raccoon]

Oh, here we go. What's the matter with you, huh?

[ihearyouthink]

Nothing at all, my friend. Quite the opposite. A distinct pleasure to meet you. [Charles offering his hand in friendship.]

[rocket_raccoon]

[What. What. Racoon eyes the extended hand for a second, then finally reaches up to sort of. Low-five it.]

Welp. Nice to see someone recognizin' genius when they see it.

[ihearyouthink]

[He doesn't even mind the low-five despite having not been greeting that way before. This was a person, and probably a species, altogether new to him.]

Indeed, you are quite amazing. Where are you from?

[rocket_raccoon]

No place you ever heard of. Terra's a long ways away from the Keystone Quadrant. It's a wonder we ever even heard o' you guys.

[ihearyouthink]

We? [Brilliant, there was more raccoon people, surely.] You have my apologies for being obscure then.

I'm Professor Charles Xavier.

[rocket_raccoon]

Yeah, we. We and the rest o' the galaxy.

["Professor"?? PFFFFT. Someone here's fancy-pants, and it's not Rocket.] Name's Rocket.

[ihearyouthink]

Ahh...you're from outerspace then. Even better, Mr. Rocket.

[Oxford educated too. Nothing learned there compares to the real world though, its all so much more interesting.]

We have beings like yourself here on Earth, but I'm afraid none of them have proven to be sentient.

[rocket_raccoon]

Better?? How's that better?? Besides just bein' more advanced than you humies. You guys are way behind.

Also, ain't no thing like me 'cept me. Got that?

[ihearyouthink]

[He chuckles, two fingers to his temple. His voice echoing in Rocket's mind.]

Some of us are catching up.

You're the only one of your species? Or perhaps I should say, the first of your species?

[rocket_raccoon]

[Automatically he swats at the air, since clearly voices from nowhere can be batted away, spins once, and then stops. To frown/glare at Charles.]

The hell? You augmented, man?

Pretty sure I'm fallin' in the "only" category there, mind guy.

[ihearyouthink]

In a way, they call us mutants. Humans that have evolved to have unique abilities. Mine happens to be telepathy. There are many others...however humanity as a whole is not entirely aware of us.

[rocket_raccoon]

So it's all natural freakazoid DNA, huh? I heard talk about muties before, come to think of it. Didn't sound like your kind were anywhere near the winnin' end o' things.

[ihearyouthink]

Mm. In this case, I doubt it will be win or lose. But I do hope to find a peaceful co-existence between humans and mutants. There will be more of us soon enough, every few millenia, evolution leaps forward. I think we're on the brink of another leap.

[rocket_raccoon]

[He snorts.] Sure you are, humie. And in a couple millenia, you might actually become sorta consequential. In the whole grand scheme o' things or whatever.

[ihearyouthink]

Hope springs eternal, as the saying goes.

[rocket_raccoon]

Yeesh. How many sayings are there on Terra? Ya never seem to run out.

[ihearyouthink]

[an amused smile]

With six billion or so people, there is bound to be quite a bit of talking to be done.

Do you travel the stars alone, my friend?

[rocket_raccoon]

Sounds like a noisy place to live at.

Quit makin' it sound all picturesque or whatever, but no, I don't. Easier to get outta deals gone wrong when ya got someone backin' you from the ship.

[ihearyouthink]

Well, you're speaking to one who has never been off his own world. I admit, I'm quite envious.