homeless for now

[realest]

Alright, you've got the will, so let's make the way! Don't over-think it dude, that just makes crud harder.

Just do the dang thing. Trust me, it'll work out.
Now. How 'bout some ice cream?



(( crossposted to dear_player ))

Comments

[thneedisgreat]

Optimism is almost always the answer.

Well, optimism and hard work....

[realest]

Right! Just gotta keep thinking positive and stuff'll work out. I keep saying it but it's like talking to a wall.

[bad_mouthing]

[You had her at ice cream.]

[Nevermind that she's being a freeloading Pokehobo.]

[realest]

...whoa. What are you?

[bad_mouthing]

[Wow, rude!]

...

What are you?

[realest]

I'm a human!

[She'd say 'obviously', but she doesn't know what most other humans look like so.]

[bad_mouthing]

Nuh-uh! Humans don't have those ears! You look more like a Buneary!

That's Shiny, maybe.

[realest]

I dunno what a 'buneary' is but uh... it's a hat, bro. They're not real ears.

[bad_mouthing]

Nuh-uh!

[realest]

...okay? Not sure how you're gonna tell me what my ears are or aren't but whatevs.

[bad_mouthing]

Like this! Those are your ears!

See? Easy!

[realest]

And I'm telling you they're not, and I think I'd know, so... I dunno, believe what you want I guess.

[bad_mouthing]

[Now with that sorted...]

So where's the eyes cream?

[She completely forgot about Fionna's first question...]

[realest]

...uh. That was for the mun. Not me.

[bad_mouthing]

You mean...

...there's none left???

[realest]

Nah, there's plenty left. She's just not the sharing type.

[bad_mouthing]

Greedy!

[...she's not exactly one to talk, though...]

[realest]

...didn't you only show up to mooch food? I don't think you've got much room to talk.

[bad_mouthing]

Yeah, but--!

I'm cute!

[Because that's the end-all be-all, amirite?]

[realest]

...not really.

[Fionna thinks it's kind of weird-looking. And probably as dangerous as an overgrown dimple plant, given the giant gaping maw growing out of its head.]

[bad_mouthing]

[Pretty good bet.]

'scuse you! I am adorable! My master even says so!

[realest]

Well, I'm not your master.

[And since what goes around comes around-]

Besides, I'm gonna think what I want, and what I think is that you're not all that cute.

[bad_mouthing]

Yeah, well, you don't have eyes cream for me. So I don't care what you think.

[That makes her useless as far as she's concerned.]

[realest]

Man, you might be more of a butt than Marsh.

[Which is saying something.]

[bad_mouthing]

Am not!

[Probably is.]

[realest]

Totally are. At least ML would admit that he's a jerk.

[Quite proudly, actually.]

[bad_mouthing]

I'm a Mawile.

[The "deceiver" Pokemon. Not being true to others is what she does as a rule. She's a cute mass of contradictions.]

[realest]

O...kay?

[Yeah, Fi has no idea what she even means by that tbh.]

[bad_mouthing]

[There's a devilish grin on her face. Let's see how clever you are, Fi.]

I always tell the truth.

[realest]

...man I so doubt that.

[Fi's not the smartest cookie, but even she can tell when someone- or something- is up to some shenanigans.]

[bad_mouthing]

It's true though! You have no reason not to trust me, right?

[realest]

Yeah, maybe...

Except that you have a giant mouth on your head and you smile kinda like a bad guy.

[bad_mouthing]

It's not a mouth. It just looks like a mouth. I wish it was a mouth. It would make the things that I catch easier to swallow.

[Which is true. The thing is more like a giant clamp with really sharp horns. It has no tongue, nor does it have salivary glands.]

[realest]

...cause that's not foreboding or anything. Man you really are kind of super-creepy.

[bad_mouthing]

Hehe. I will admit it is kind of funny to feel the things I catch wriggle and writhe as they try to get away.~♥

[Still...]

And I don't judge how you catch and eat things.

[realest]

...

[Mawile, you are not helping your case. And her hand may be inching toward her sword.]

I don't catch things! Usually. I go buy groceries!

[bad_mouthing]

[For a small thing, she does a pretty good job at being an apex predator in the regions where they are found.]

Oh. My master goes there sometimes too. But you need moh nay, yes? I can never get any moh nay.

[thneedisgreat]

Some people just choose to be cynical. It's a shame.

[realest]

It kind of is, but it's her choice I guess. I'll just keep up the smiles for both of us.