4.02

[burninhale]

Well, this is it. This is the end. I've been stabbed, shot, electrocuted, set on fire, come back from the dead, and this is what did it. I'm ready to lie down in a grave now. It's all gone, it's over, farewell.








Except coffins and grave plots actually cost money. Which we no longer have. Add to that —

...

No, let's focus on the money. I don't think we need to discuss anything else.

Comments

[burninhale]

I was running to the vault, Derek, the wide open vault.

[ What a loving family this is. ]

[smilederek]

Could I just ask why a worthless rock with a triskele on it had to be locked in the top secret family vault with all our money in it anyway?

[burninhale]

Why don't I strap on the claws, stab you in the neck, and you can ask your mother about it?

[ He hopes you notice how much nicer he's being to the young Derek, old Derek. ]

[smilederek]

What, she never told you? It's almost as if you gave her some reason not to trust you, at all, ever.

[Young Derek is dumb and we both know it, Peter. Old Derek is so tempted to just yell and yell at him. ]

[burninhale]

Yes, she did get a little distant after I tore off your training wheels and got your girlfriend killed. Poor Talia. Infinite wisdom, limited resources, and a naive idiot for a son.

[ All said with a smile, of course, because riling Derek has painful consequences but he can't not do it. ]

[smilederek]

[Derek shrugs, surprisingly un-riled by this. It's not like you're wrong, Peter.]

So where are you going to live, now that you have no money?

[Not with him, is the hint here.]

[burninhale]

I was thinking about burning down the Argent house and living in the ruins of that.

[ Whatever, he doesn't want to live with Derek anyway. ]

[smilederek]

[Peter. You know how Derek hates to smile. He manages to resist the urge, even though your suggestion quietly pleases him.]

There are probably some cellars on our land that haven't collapsed yet.

[Pause.]

You never realize how many cellars your family has, until your home is finally bulldozed.

[CONVERSATIONALIST, DEREK HALE.]

[burninhale]

[ Derek, if you don't use those muscles every now and then, they'll atrophy! (Probably the snarling and extreme grimaces will exercise them.) ]

That — ... those two sentences are simultaneously the two saddest things I've ever heard you say. We're not going to live in a cellar, Derek. I mean, we're not, separately, either of us, going to live in cellars, no matter how many there are.

[smilederek]

I wasn't talking about living in one myself.

I still have the subway.

[It's kind of like a giant fancy cellar full of trains.]

[burninhale]

That counts as a cellar. It's a cellar that has more crap in it. Jesus, at least that industrial nightmare you called a loft had windows. Listen, if teenagers think of your house as an ideal place to hold a rave, that's a sign.

[smilederek]

My loft has good acoustics.

[And a rugged, empty charm.]

[burninhale]

It might be useful for testing your next date. Bring her back to that and if she's okay with it, she might be another psycho.

[smilederek]

On the other hand, you're living proof that not all murderous psychopaths appreciate my loft.

[burninhale]

It goes hand in hand with not wanting to sleep with you.