Voice Test. Canon is the Batman '66 comic. (And the old television series too.)

[feline_felon]

Mmm, Cat-mun. It's absolutely cataclysmic that you haven't found a place for me yet. There are only so many catnaps a woman can take before she wants to be out and about, thieving shopping for jewels and causing chaos. Besides, this is the purrfect chance for us to find a place that might have a certain Caped Crusader.

Without his annoying, holy-this and holy-that Boy Blunder.

Come on, Cat-mun. My claws are dipped in my special catatonic and I'm itching for some fun. Let's not waste any more time.

Comments

[irredeemed_ant]

Huh.

So you have things in all the right places there. You're like if Black Cat went all... Sixties Go Go. With Puns, apparently.

Sadly I'm a super hero so I suppose if you're one of the bad types I'm probably meant to bring you in or something.

[holysidekick]

You're a fine one to talk about being repetitive, Miss Cat-This and Cat-That.

I've only seen Batman here a couple of times, although The Riddler makes more appearances.

[feline_felon]

How about "or something?" I'm not a bad guy, per se. Just misunderstood. Really. So I like to steal pretty cat-things from museums for my own private collection.

Is that really so wrong?

[feline_felon]

It's not just about being repetitive, Robin. It's about being so nauseatingly good. Batman would be so much more fun if you weren't around. It's why I offer to have you killed, time and again.

Purrhaps you'll take me up on that offer this time?

[irredeemed_ant]

Speaking as someone who was kind of a villain for about five minutes?

...probably. Guess it depends on how expensive the 'cat things' happen to be. What if the people in the museums go out of business or something because you stole their awesome cat stuff?

[feline_felon]

That's when you start helping yourself to other people's private collections.

Oh, look at you, turning to a life of crime-fighting instead. Don't you find that so boring?

[holysidekick]

You insult Batman by suggesting that he would turn evil if I weren't around. He's much stronger than you give him credit for. What I can't understand is why he always gives YOU credit for possibly changing your ways when it's obvious you revel in them.

And the only offer you'll get from me, Catwoman, is to escort you back to Gotham Penitentiary.

[irredeemed_ant]

Can't fault that logic.

Maybe a little, but I not the world conquering or mass destruction type either. Anyway, I'm Ant Man if we're gonna trade compliments instead of punches. And you?

[feline_felon]

Trading punches is what the henchmen are for. A lady never gets involved in a physical altercation.

Well, unless she absolutely has to.

I'm Catwoman.

[feline_felon]

Evil! Why, I'm not saying evil. I'm saying he'd be so much more fun.

And it's because he sees something in me, Boy Blunder. Something, a spark, to categorically change me from one side to another.

Sorry, less-than-handsome. You're not the sort of escort I have in mind.

[irredeemed_ant]

Clearly you've never met any of the many, many super villainesses I know who do. You have henchmen? People who literally are down with you stealing stuff because it involves felines. Huh.

Catwoman, well nice to meet you I guess. You're a crazy lady but very attractive so I'll give you that. Am I going to have to arrest you or something?

[holysidekick]

By 'fun' you mean stealing with you and helping you in your schemes. Which is evil.

He likes to believe that people are innately good, give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm far more cynical, and I can see through your tricks.

[feline_felon]

Everybody's available for purrchase for the right price. Even henchmen want a couple of million dollars in their kitty. Besides, you know how it is. Some of us were meant to be criminal masterminds, others can only be underlings.

The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure.

You can try to arrest me, but I'll slip away. I always do.

[irredeemed_ant]

A couple MILLION DOLLARS?! Exactly how well off are you?! And sorry missie, Doctor Doom and Red Skull are criminal masterminds. You're... well, clearly a very specific thief. With backup.

Well, I suppose that would simply mean I'd have to catch you again. Besides, you've never met me before. You don't know what I can do to... erm, be like ants at a picnic.

...I need better Ant related puns.

[feline_felon]

Well, is that so wrong? Everyone needs a little bit of love. Even felonious felines such as myself.

And let's not forget that thing you had with Pussycat, Robin.

Mmm, cynicism. Maybe you're more interesting than I give you credit for.

[feline_felon]

Oh, I'm not saying that's how much they get. Usually, they end up dead or in jail. The promise of riches will make men do everything.

Men not named Batman, anyway.

And yes, you do. Ants at a picnic are a nuisance. A felonious feline fury is far worse.

[irredeemed_ant]

So basically you are lying through your teeth, that's nice.

I'm not named Batman and I'm not clearly crazy enough to do what you want for money. Maybeeeeee a date, but that would probably make me crazy.

Nice word work there. But I can be more than a nuisence, watch! [And Eric shrinks himself down to the size of a small bug and zips up to her face.] Now you might think shrinking kinda sucks as a super power but I know how to use it to my advantage. Hmm, you're kinda cute as a giantess.

[feline_felon]

[She swats at him with her clawed gloves.] Kind of cute? Kind of? I'll have you know that I'm the prime example of beauty in Gotham City!

[irredeemed_ant]

[Woah, watch those claws O'Grady. Even so he cheekily perches himself on her nose.]

Well I've never been to Gotham but I can imagine you're the most beautiful lady there. Does that help?

[feline_felon]

[This is all kinds of new. Not the least of why because Catwoman's not used to people shrinking. That sort of thing doesn't generally tend to happen in the Gotham she's from.]

Mmmm. Maybe a little. Enough not to make me squish you, at any rate.

[irredeemed_ant]

[Even where Eric's from shrinking is not too much of a common power. If Eric visited her Gotham he'd likely consider it colourful and without much in the way of actual powers, though a heck of a lot of kooky gadgets.]

Good. Honestly I don't want to arrest you anyway, though I'd advise you not to steal stuff and risk getting your pretty self thrown in jail.

oh hai

[i_am_vengeance]

[Huh.

This probably isn't the Caped Crusader she's looking for.]

Some things really do never change.

[He has prior experience with alternate selves.]

[inmateincharge]

Well, you're certainly an improvement over the Catwoman that I'm used to. Got a better sense of humour, at any rate. [What can he say? He appreciates a good pun. Or even a bad one.]

[holysidekick]

We agree on that much; you do deserve love. But you can't make Batman into someone he isn't, and even if you could, would he still be the same man you care about?

[feline_felon]

[Kooky gadgets and even kookier people.]

Oh, I don't get caught unless I allow myself to.

And even then, Batman lets me go.