Words from a very pouty princess

[barsoombamf]

Excuse me, 'pouty'? Not hardly!

I'm annoyed, and rightly so! You're losing your handle on my voice, I'm starting to sound altogether too much like that Jasoomian queen muse of yours. You know the one - she struts around with half her chest exposed and her legs on display.

[Says the woman who is often depicted in comic books wearing nothing except gold jewelry.]

Barsoom is hotter than this planet! It makes sense for me to wear less clothing! You're missing the point at any rate! You have your other muses all over the place, I am the Princess of Helium, I will not be second fiddle to anyone!!

Comments

[thevoidlooksback]

"Helium"? Like balloons?

[Yeah, that's the only part Shadows really paid any attention to.]

[barsoombamf]

There is an element on Jasoom of the same name that is used to fill balloons, yes. But they are not one and the same.

[thevoidlooksback]

...So are you from a balloon-world or not?

[barsoombamf]

...No. Decidedly not.

Sorry to disappoint you.

[thevoidlooksback]

Damn it. [And disappointed he is!] That would've been so cool.

Are you a balloon-princess? Or is this whole "Helium"-thing just a one-way trip to disappointment?

[barsoombamf]

[She has to fight the urge to laugh - she's trying to remain serious here! But his reactions are pretty amusing.]

No, I'm a princess of an empire on Barsoom - though most people better know it as 'Mars'.

[thevoidlooksback]

[He would be so offended. He is a creature of terror! Just balloons are really cool, ok?]

[He cocks his head and considers.] Mars, huh? That's kinda cool too, I guess... except I was pretty sure mortals need to breathe and that Mars doesn't have air. So that works out how?

[barsoombamf]

You're correct - there's no oxygen on Mars. Still, here I stand. My kind just...never needed it? I'm not sure exactly how it works for us in comparison to those from Jasoom...err..sorry, Earth.

[thevoidlooksback]

That's weird. Do you breathe something else, or just don't breathe?

Does "Jasoom" mean "dirt" too?

[barsoombamf]

We breathe - but it's a different compound than oxygen. I fear I found it rather rudimentary and never paid it much mind.

No, that's the title we have for the planet. The planet you'd call "Jupiter" is called "Sasoom" by my people, and "Venus" is "Cosoom."

Their names come from their distance in relation to the sun.

[thevoidlooksback]

Sometimes science stuff is boring.

That's a lot better than naming your own planet "dirt". That's what "Earth" means, didja know that? No idea why humans would want to be identified with dirt like that.

[barsoombamf]

Indeed I did - you say 'humans' as if you yourself are of another race, is that so?

1/2

[thevoidlooksback]

Yeah. I'm from Earth too, but humans named all the stuff. [He perks up.] A human named me too, but he did a much better job than whoever named the planet. I'm Shadows Nightman.

2/2

[thevoidlooksback]

[Then he groans in irritation.] Fine, fine, I'll tell her. [Petulantly:] My mun says I HAVE to tell you I'm a boogeyman.

[barsoombamf]

[She gives a slight inclination of her head.]

I am Dejah Thoris, Regent of the Royal Academy of Science and Princess of Helium.

[But the word 'boogeyman' gives her pause.]

A...boogeyman? Ahh...my mundane has explained - but I must admit we do not have such creatures on Barsoom. But, tell me, what abilities do you have? You are a creature of legend, correct?