[Warning: Spoilers for City of Heavenly Fire]

[acherontamovebo]

What do you mean you were satisfied with what happened to me in the end?

I didn't win.

And stop getting ideas of more Jonathan.

Comments

[psyvampexperiment]

People like to say that 'winning isn't everything', but I suspect those are the ones who've had more luck at winning than others have.

[acherontamovebo]

It wasn't about luck. I was betrayed by my own blood.

I suppose I should have expected it. I am too unique. Nobody could truly understand me.

[psyvampexperiment]

Mmm, it is one thing to be betrayed by a friend, but by a family member or one of one's own kind... that's a wound that cuts to the soul, if one still has it.

And there's a danger in being unique: it inspires fear in those who don't understand...

[acherontamovebo]

My sister... No matter what I tried to do to win her over... No matter what I offered... And I offered her the world! She just wouldn't accept me.

[psyvampexperiment]

I suppose some people are frightened by the notion of having the whole world at their feet, but if they could get over that fear, they'd find how useful it can be.

I know a little of how that feels: My father wasn't sure what to make of me or the woman who gave me to him...

[acherontamovebo]

My father made me what I am then hated me for it. My mother wanted to murder me at birth.

Maybe we're better off with no family at all.

[psyvampexperiment]

We're rather similar in that way, it would seem...

I think we're better off making a family of our own finding. It isn't always easy, but when one finds kindred souls, you often find a bond forging that you didn't expect. I have a friend who's more of a brother to me than my biological half-brother...

[acherontamovebo]

I tried to bond with my adopted brother too - but he could only think of our sister.

[psyvampexperiment]

You have my empathy and my understanding: I tried to bond with a half-brother whom my father brought to our home when the boy's mother died; but, my brother, it seemed was more interested in my family's fortune and seeing that he got it all to himself than in any family bonding.

[acherontamovebo]

Maybe siblings are overrated then.

[psyvampexperiment]

I've often wondered if they are, or at the least, that the link supposedly formed by blood relations is over-estimated.

[acherontamovebo]

Blood can overcome other blood. That is the only reason my sister likes her angel boy. They share blood almost as much as we do, and yet she shuns me for being her blood brother. Blood moves to blood, but she went the wrong way.

[psyvampexperiment]

It very often can happen that way: my father cared more for my half-brother than he did for me. I used to blame myself for it, for being too smart or too strange-looking or for not being as healthy as my brother. But I grew past that in time.

Hmm? Are you speaking metaphorically when you referred to him as an 'angel boy'?

[artem]

You were always destined to lose.

[acherontamovebo]

And where was that particular prophecy written?

[artem]

No prophecy necessary, Jonathan. You were your own undoing.

[acherontamovebo]

Do you enjoy using that name? Do you really want what I could have been over what I am?

My greatest mistake was ever trusting you, as my blood. As my sister.

[artem]

It's the name you were given. ( The smile that creeps onto her face is satisfied, almost cruel. ) I know you hate it.

And the greatest mistake in your entire life was that our mother allowed you to live.

[acherontamovebo]

She's a hateful person. You saved me with that sword, didn't you? She gave up on me at birth... when there could have been ways to bring the real me back.

What sort of mother does that?

[He's trying to turn it around on her.]

finallyfinished

[artem]

I did. But she saw no conceivable way to save you, when you were born. She was young. ( She doesn't bear hatred for the boy that might have been. But... ) But it didn't save you. It redeemed you for a matter of minutes, and then it killed you.

\o/

[acherontamovebo]

Maybe you didn't try hard enough to find another solution.

If he was really what you wanted.

[artem]

( She tries not to betray her emotions, but her face registers the slightest alarm, and there is sadness in her eyes. ) I could have forgiven him. If I'd had a few more minutes... ( And then she can't bear to look at him anymore. ) It isn't me you should be angry with. Or our mother. You should be angry with Valentine. He made you. He took away your choice to be a better person. He took away the chance you could have had to be -- ... The boy with the green eyes.

[acherontamovebo]

[He gave a kind of ugly smirk which soften out in a faux innocent look.]

What if he was always here, within me and not trying hard enough to get out and stop me?

It's his fault then. Jonathan.

[artem]

Don't you understand? Jonathan was never allowed to live. He was never there. The only reason he emerged at all was because I burned the evil out of you. ( Clary is getting tired of trying to explain reality to the deranged half of her would-have-been-brother. ) Valentine's fault. Not Jonathan.

[acherontamovebo]

[He's just toying with her now.]

That's how you see it because it makes you feel better. You weren't in my head.

He's just not strong enough to be your true brother.