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it's a party up in here
You called me "douchebag Lois Lane"? Seriously?
You don't even want to do anything with me, either. You never do-- not since you got back into [WITH CONTEMPT] fandom roleplaying. You just want an excuse to make everyone else show off their own characters. Think of all the psychological scarring you're inflicting on me. You're a terrible mother.
[. . .]
Well, maybe I enjoy being a pompous asshole. There aren't a hell of a lot of joys in the life of a forgotten OC. Now leave me alone and write some more yaoi or whatever you do these days.
You don't even want to do anything with me, either. You never do-- not since you got back into [WITH CONTEMPT] fandom roleplaying. You just want an excuse to make everyone else show off their own characters. Think of all the psychological scarring you're inflicting on me. You're a terrible mother.
[. . .]
Well, maybe I enjoy being a pompous asshole. There aren't a hell of a lot of joys in the life of a forgotten OC. Now leave me alone and write some more yaoi or whatever you do these days.
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If she's a negligent parent, however...
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How short a time've you been kicking around in that headspace, eh?
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Five years. Give or take. [shrug.]
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No horror game nor death toll will match the sting of hope you'll find when they've given you years to love the person they kill for the sake of an ending to a story they've decided is done.
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She wouldn't. She likes happy endings too much. I was her favorite for years, and... []trailing off.]
Gathering dust could be worse, I guess.
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[Because seriously. Come the fuck on dude.]
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She can't keep a plotline straight. Among other things.
[It isn't about him being a jerk. Obviously not.]
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[There's a nod in sort of a general upward direction. You know what he's talkin' about.]
Are you sure there isn't some kinda internal issue going on here?
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[...Ah. It's clicked. Robert raises an eyebrow critically.]
She didn't give me a tragic past or a laser sword or fantastic superpowers. [an indignant sniff. he isn't insecure about it. really.] Squeaky wheels and all that.
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What is it, then? Standard-issue flight and strength? Elemental? Something a little more specialized? I've seen a lot of capes, I work sort of indirectly with them.
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[Yep. He stays quiet for a second, letting that ol' awkward silence speak for itself, then:]
It's not ideal.
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He closes his mouth, tightly presses his lips together, and tries again.]
Oh.
[Yeah this isn't happening.]
I-- I see what you mean.
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[See, this is why he doesn't tell anybody. Nobody wants to hear about you going around and voming roaches on people, that shit isn't kosher. He gives sort of a 'eh, whatever' kinda shrug and lolls his head to the side a little.]
You get used to the feeling after awhile, but the asthma's a real bitch. Can't go around fighting evildoers if I gotta keep slamming on the inhaler the whole time.
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[A beat.]
Are you allergic to your own power? [Ouch. Salt in the wound much.] I think you need to start complaining to your writer, that's a crock of bull: you at least deserve a power that's functional if it's going to be something gross.
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Don't see the point. Even if I bother, I know they're not gonna listen. Besides, like I said, you get used to it. Even manage to do a little good, if you can believe it.
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winks @ u
[Just gotta stretch here, it's been ages since he's been let out and he probably has arthritis or some shit who even knows.] I can't believe we're actually wanting attention these days. I'd fight one of mine's stupid robots for a bit of fresh air, for real.
Seriously. I'm up against monster girls and robots. Jesus Christ just murder me right here, right now.
[Oh wait ok no Toby seriously don't fucking raise your eyebrows like that you gross little man stop that.] Don't tell me you miss her writing...Yaois about us, though? I never complain about sex unless it's got their grubby fucking paws in it.
;))))))) 1/2
Maybe if we do pretend to be superheroes they'll give us a chance? Hate to admit it, but monster girls and robots are way more exciting than us. Even if we've got more charisma, and that underdog charm, or whatever. I don't want either of us rusting over or anything ridiculous like that.
[but as for the.................sex.......]
2/2
It's all the fucking nerd, now, Toby, I am so goddamn SICK of him getting more action than I am.
HE WEARS A SHIRT WITH UNDERAGE ANIME GIRLS ON IT EVERY DAY, TOBY.
UNDERAGE ANIME GIRLS.
i lied one more. NOT HERE--
Ah-- [SNEEZE.]
Damn. Must be allergies.
ohhh my fucking god also 1/3
...Eh, I can sneeze and turn on a lightbulb; if that's not exciting then I don't know what is! Why they don't want to write more about us and our charming, domestic lifestyle, I'll never know--
[Hold up.]
for fuck's sake im senile ok
there. true success
What the fucking fuck? How the shit does a gross, incompetent manchild like him get more attention and sex than us? Who would do that to themselves?!
This is insulting. Fuckin' weeaboos, how does this keep happening, I bet he'd name his kid Sephiroth Sakura for fuck's sake.
bless u
I don't know. Someone as desperate as he is, I'm guessing-- I wouldn't touch that cheeto dust stain with a twenty-foot pole, much less let him stick it in. [He shudders. Oh my God banging Travis Touchdown why would anyone ever.]
Isn't it? Jesus. Sephiroth Sakura. That poor child. Someone prevent him from breeding, please.
praise be 2 yaois jesus
Can you imagine what a person so self-hating and sleazy looks like? I imagine they're almost as bad in the nasty hair department, and they probably wear a Pokey-mon onesie. Or...Or maid outfits.
D'you really think he'd be the one sticking it to anyone though? I can't imagine him having the initiative, really. [Ah yes, fresh yaois visions of Travis Touchdown iyaaan-ing his heart out. He shudders a little at the thought, and at the vomit trying to come up. Grooooossss.]
Damn, I'm not sure if I want to be let out if that's what we'd be replacing. Maybe if I grab his balls and give him a hard enough shock he'll be neutered? No one could charge us for doing a civic duty.
thank u based yaoi god
Oh, Christ. I bet they have cosplay sex. Why. Why why why why. [Massaging his temples.
you two are going to get fucking murdered oh my god YOURE TALKING SHIT ABOUT TWO TRAINED KILLERS] And you've got a point. Although I'd actually give him credit for being brave enough to bottom. [A HIDEOUS SMIRK:] Remember the first time you did? You're a champ about it now, but. [ha ha ha ha ha sorry toby]It'll be an improvement. A vast improvement. Saving the world, scooping the metaphorical cockroach out of the gene pool, and getting to screw-- uh, onscreen if you want to call it that-- again. We'll actually be heroes that way.
does lil y have yaoi hands and a big yaois chin....
Jesus I didn't need that image...Bad quality fabric riding up flabby legs. Lace and striped underwear. I'm going to be sick if I go any deeper, sweet lord. [Oh god why won't the reflux go away thanks Touchdown look what you did.
It'd be hilarious though lbr]Are you-- [OH GOD NO ROBERT WHY DID YOU BRING THAT UP WHY WHY WHY. Just going to go red and cross his arms like the true fucking tsundere he is.] ...You're a dick.
But that's true; I bet he'd chicken out as soon as look at anything resembling a real man instead of some anime twink. [Compliment? Yeah, we'll go with that.
Are you two seriously trying to make a cock-taking contest out of this. jesus you are disowned] Or cry. Twenty bucks says he cried the first time because he couldn't take it!Hey, I can handle that; clearly I have practice to do but it would be so worth it to be rid of that asshat and come out on top. Take as you will, of course.
i woudlnt doubt it tbqh
I'm not a dick, I'm being honest! Everybody's first time is awkward. And if it makes you feel better, it didn't involve fucking in cat ears. [Sweet fucking christ why toby.]
Ha. [ah yes. he's flattered. you know how to butter him up, tobes.] I wonder if it is some anime twink? I don't think he'd keep going if some big burly guy scared him off in the beginning. It's awful, I'll bet, but I want to find out. Curiosity.
[he pauses, and..... oh my god is he waggling his eyebrows youre an idiot bobert] I do like it when you come out on top, Toby.
hay gurl hay
What? I think they're just fine, myself. Maybe a little pushy sometimes, 'n I wonder what sort of manners they learned, but I don't think s'fair t'be quite so harsh on them. Certainly not terrible mothers, I'd say - You know those beasts, ones what eat their young? Those are terrible mothers.
Yep, wouldn't complain s'much. You got a place to stay! 'N look, we're bein' brought out t'make new friends! That's good, right? I'd say.
[WAG
TAILSTUMP HAPPY DOGE]omg who are you WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A DOGE OC
You can talk?
[he blinks, tentatively standing his ground.]
Have you-- have you always been able to talk?
SURPRISE!!!! I HAVE A DOGE OC!!! that i'm still unsure re: voice so
'Course! 'N maybe not always - Had t'learn like everyone else, right? I mean - [His ears perk up and he seems REALLY INTERESTED all of the sudden] 'Les - Were you? [It's a 100% genuine question and there's actually a bit of awe in his voice] Oi, wouldn't that jus' be amazing! Born talkin', eh? Be weird f'your mum, but - Well, it'd save some trouble, sure!
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