Well this is...different. Voice-test.

[nohayseed]

Ma'am, I can appreciate a work in progress. Take your time.

This is a nice change of pace for you: taking up someone that abides by the law rather than some small-time crooks who take almost comically great strides to find a way to break it. Heck, I even enforce the law. You've done a regular turn around. Trust me, this will be much less vexing on the mind. Just let me do my work, and the rest will fall into place. It's as simple as that.

Now, who was it that I'm supposed to get acquainted with?

Comments

DRUNK TEXT INCOMING

[silver_sterling]

There're a lot of people around here to get aquinted with.

Did I spell that right?

The worst meeting of the minds-- underappreciated workers(??)

[nohayseed]

Acquainted, since you asked.

Otherwise, you seem to be pretty potentially well-informed.

Re: They'll get along soooo well I can see it

[silver_sterling]

Right. Acquainted. That's what I wrote, isn't it?

I am a well-informed individual. It's one of my myriad charms.

Just let him bitch about Hoover and you have a pal for life, Roger.

[nohayseed]

No point in splitting hairs.

Then I'll count myself fortunate. What's your name, friend?

Re: Okay. I mean, hey, everyone hates Hoover, right?

[silver_sterling]

My thoughts exactly.

Roger. It's Roger. Wait, who is this?

[Was he trying to text someone else? Was he just mistaken and thought he knew this guy? We may never know.]

Correct answer.

[nohayseed]

[ He doesn't know a Roger, and he's pretty damn sharp with names. What a strange conversation starter for a stranger-- may as well entertain his curiosities. ]

I think a better question, Roger, is who did you think it was?

[silver_sterling]

Don? Joanie? Someone.

Oh god, please tell me this isn't Campbell.

[nohayseed]

Someone is a better venture. But no, rest assured I have no Campbell in my name. Jim Tolliver.

You may want to exercise some caution in your messaging.

[silver_sterling]

Nice to meet you, Jim Tolliver.

Why? It's a conversation, not sharing industry secrets.

[See, he'd have to be a lot drunker to share those.]

[nohayseed]

So Campbell's unpopularity is public domain is what you're saying.

[silver_sterling]

Campbell's unpopularity goes beyond public domain. I think it's considered word of god in some places.

[nohayseed]

Rather unfortunate.

So, Roger, now that we find ourselves engaged in conversation, maybe I ought to ask what your industry is.

[silver_sterling]

Advertising. Also known as the bullshit industry.

What's yours? I'm already anticipating a squirrelly, half-answer. Don't disappoint me.

[nohayseed]

That explains the quick wit. Quick as text can be, anyway. Not, however, the spelling.

Bureau of Investigation.

1/2

[silver_sterling]

Alcohol explains the spelling. That's something I've learned in this industry -- always blame it on the alcohol.

2/2

[silver_sterling]

I'm drunk texting a Fed?

[nohayseed]

Then maybe our careers aren't so different.

That must be some way to spend an evening.

[silver_sterling]

Why, because you also spend a lot of time drunk texting feds?

[nohayseed]

Not particularly.

[silver_sterling]

Are you always this talkative, or did I just happen to get lucky tonight?

[nohayseed]

So you're interested in continuing the conversation. I'm glad,

I was worried for a moment that you might be too busy bullshitting to chat.

[silver_sterling]

[He likes you, kid. Stick around. Don't arrest him.]

I'm never too busy bullshitting to chat.

I really was curious as to what you thought we had in common, other than that charming sarcastic wit.

[nohayseed]

[ This is probably the closest thing to a friendly conversation he's had all day and it sure beats being called crazy at ever turn. You're alright too, Roger just don't call him kid. ]

Personally, I can't say I much know you from Adam. And assuming I knew anything about advertising other than what gets me to buy my shaving kits, I imagine there's a lot of chat and research involved. It's an under-appreciated stretch of work, but some men seem to find a way to segue that into a good time.

[silver_sterling]

So what you're saying is that we're both great at turning a big old pile of nothing into a good time?

That sounds about right.

[nohayseed]

That's a much more concise way of putting it.

[silver_sterling]

So you think arresting people makes for a good time?

[nohayseed]

No, that's narrowing it down too far. I enjoy the challenge and the chase.

[silver_sterling]

And the recognition and the accolades, no doubt.

[nohayseed]

Even if that was what I was after, I'm afraid both are in short supply unless everyone already knows your name.

[ Maybe he's said too much, but gosh darn if it doesn't feel good to say something. Maybe there's a little delight in the fact it's a near-stranger. ]

[silver_sterling]

And that's why you have to make a name for yourself. I've heard that having a company named after you is a good way to start, but it probably doesn't work that way in the government.

[nohayseed]

It really depends on who you're counting on to recognize your work. Consumers may not, in fact, be our biggest fans.

Is that how your advertising career took off? You have a company?

[silver_sterling]

I'd offer to take you on board as one of our clients, but nobody around here would touch the government with a ten foot pole, these days.

Sure. My name's on the building, and everything.

[nohayseed]

I appreciate the thought. Nobody seems to care much for the government until they need the assistance. That's my best stab at a tagline, and even I'll admit that it's shoddy.

You must be proud.

[silver_sterling]

Well, it's better than the alternative tagline: "The Government: We're the assholes that invented taxes."

I spend every day drinking to my success.

[octodad]

[Eli looks a little contemptuous at the idea of this being "less vexing on the mind."] It doesn't bother you at all, does it? [Threatening to send kids to jail.]

FFFFFFFF /spits beverage everywhere

[nohayseed]

Is that rhetorical to your own assumptions, Eli, or are you actually curious on my intentions or otherwise opinions on whatever your question happens to be?

[ Either his smile is muted or his lips are thinned. It's hard to tell and he's fully aware of this. ]

[octodad]

[If there's one thing he doesn't like, it's people who try to act superior and make him look stupid. It just makes Eli's anger grow, but he holds himself in check, knowing just how bad things would be for him and his family if he made one wrong move here.]

You know what I mean.

[nohayseed]

[ Color Jim impressed. Considering you'll bludgeon, beat and strangle people to death, Eli, this restraint suits you. Given your family history, well, this agent can't hold it against you.

Openly. ]

We are all kings of our own destiny, Eli. It's all based on the decisions we make and the people we associate ourselves with.

[octodad]

Yeah. Well. That's pretty fucking easy for you to say, isn't it?

mind a AU!Phoenix Wright?

[onlysaneattorney]

Law Enforcers are interesting people too, now if only they can see that...

[Yes, this is a Defense Attorney on his way to corruption, but there's something in his tone of voice that doesn't like this deal one bit.]

But you know, crooks are like cockroaches these things. So common some people think them as pets.

Not at all!

[nohayseed]

There never seems to be a shortage anywhere. Personally, I'd stick with a dog.

[onlysaneattorney]

Dogs are more loyal anyhow.

[nohayseed]

Do you speak from personal experience?

[onlysaneattorney]

Somewhat.