shadow muse

[a_wake]

This is the best thing. Colors! People! Icons! Ah, I'm so pretty.

All right, all right, calming down. So, what do you expect to do with me? Memes are mostly sex, right, which I'm physically incapable of. And I'm not sure I can get people to talk to me, given that I'm also incapable of putting them into a headlock until they do. Which is a shame, because that sounds like fun. Both the headlocking and the talking.

What I'm saying is, where is the party? Am I invited? Are there balloon animals and alcohol? I know I can't get drunk, but the real fun is in watching other people get wasted anyway.

Comments

[notbloodylikely]

Memes aren't mostly sex!

...Also, what the relativity are you?

[a_wake]

Really? Where can I go? I don't know if my mun'll send me to a game, and I've had way too much hanging around in the nothing.

Hm, well, light goes very fast, so I suppose I'd be relatively slow. I'm not Einstein.

[notbloodylikely]

Uh. There's bakerstreet? They're almost sex free now.

...And that's not what I meant. I meant, what are you? [Feda is still learning that most people use religious terms in sentences like that, not scientific ones.]

[a_wake]

Aha, that's perfect! Thank you, I will bother all the people.

I'm a shadow. [To demonstrate, he slips across the floor and walls of wherever they are, shifting forms in the process. He's a girl now. Sort of. A feminine shadow, at least.]

I haven't met many light people yet.

[notbloodylikely]

...Oh crud.

You're not, like, someone's inner darkness or something are you?

[a_wake]

No, I'm not made of other people. That would be pretty weird.

You're from the light world, and you're made of light. I'm from the dark world, and I'm made of dark. It's pretty straightforward. Though I have to admit, I wasn't quite this dark in the darkness.

[notbloodylikely]

I'm not made of light.

I'm made of meat.

[a_wake]

[Laughs]

Everything here is made of light. The sun lights the plants which light the meat. Where I'm from, the dark darkens everything.

I bet you'd be all glowy there. I'd be cool. People would think you're a ghost or maybe a raver.

[notbloodylikely]

[Oh boy. Have a sigh.]

...You're weird as string theory, you know that? Is everything flat over there?

[a_wake]

String theory is its own level of weird.

I wouldn't say it's flat, but it's not 3D. It's sort of a cylindrical hologram, or that's what they think now. What's really weird is this place, the way it's just floating all over. It's not organized at all, yet people live in it!

[Please excuse him, he's getting a little excited. This is like being in space but better!]

[notbloodylikely]

...What how do...I can't...

I can't even visualise that.

[a_wake]

Maybe if you think of it like a prism? A prism like a column with all the light focused on the center, only it's dark.

... now I'm confused too.

[notbloodylikely]

...How can you not get it? You're from there?

[a_wake]

I'm not a scientist. Do you guys know everything about how this place works? I'm still trying to figure out what sex even is.

[notbloodylikely]

Well I'm not going to be the one to tell you!

[a_wake]

Why not? It's not fair to ask me about my world and not tell me about yours.

[notbloodylikely]

Okay, first lesson about 'light world.' It's not fair.

[a_wake]

Huh. Very similar to dark world.

Fine fine fine. Tell me something else? The meaning of life? Or maybe how you get your hair to stick up like that?

[notbloodylikely]

[Thumbs up.]

I use four cans of hairspray a day.

[a_wake]

You don't pass out from the smell? The ones back home smell like ... passing out.

[notbloodylikely]

No, because...

[Oh yeah, check out his 'I am cool' pose.]

My endurance is 'High.'

[a_wake]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[No sarcasm, he is seriously impressed.]

Did you do some sort of special training? I've always been meaning to learn ninjutsu, and since I didn't this shadow thing feels like kind of a waste.

[notbloodylikely]

Not really. I just gathered experience and levelled up, but my base stats are just good for physical stuff.

Anyway, now that you're a shadow you don't need training. You're a natural ninja....Without the murder.

[a_wake]

[Rubs his chin.] Well, I should be gathering a lot of experience now that I'm here.

I'm not sure you count as a ninja without the murder.

[notbloodylikely]

...Well, you want to see if I can give you a physical form? I do it all the time for various weird creatures so they can fight for me.