(canon is hercxena)

[halfdressed]

Go to a game? What, where like, everyone harasses me day and night to sort out their love-lives for them and then has a go at me when they screw it up? No, thanks! I like having a life of my own, you know. One free of bitching bitches. Would they even build me a temple? A teeny, tiny shrine? No, they wouldn't, so whatever.

And, sweetpea, for the record? I wouldn't touch some of these weirdos with a ten-foot pole even if I wasn't the Goddess of Love.

Comments

[idkworldruler]

Like OMG honey. Lighten up, I doubt everyone will come to you with their relationship problems.

(canon is Marvel)

[olympic_lion]

Fair is fair, fair Sister; if they want your help, they ought to be willing to put in the time and effort for some decent worshipping. A shrine is the least to ask for.

Still, it's a pleasure to see that you're blooming so well under munly adversity. How have you been, sweet Aphrodite?

[halfdressed]

Whatever. Like you wouldn't have any trouble imagining what it's like to be me, I'm so surprised — and you can knock off that rude, facetious attitude problem, dudebro. These are serious problems, here.

[halfdressed]

Herc! Hey, get a load of you rocking the facial hair, it's a good look! Work it. And I know right? Except I'm down with helping out the stinky, unwashed needy even without a temple because I'm just that generous.

I'm good! How're you?

Here, have a Goddess of Chaos and Discord from DC Comics. :D

[chaosanddiscord]

Oh, you're so adorable. I've yet to see you find a man you wouldn't touch with anything, forget just a ten-foot pole!

ahhh yes good c:

[halfdressed]

Wow, are you sure you've got the time to be bitching at people? You don't want to miss that appointment to have your back shaved.

[chaosanddiscord]

You have me confused with Artemis, darling. She's the hairy beast. Which, considering both who you're married to and who you consort with, I'd think you'd have learned to keep your hairy ducks all in a row. You know. Except for everytime you get caught cheating.

[a_good_detective]

Hmm. I would offer comfort your mundane wouldn't do that to you, but most muns are cruel enough to do so regardless of how logical your objections are. Instead, might I suggest that you, if sent to a game, hide your status as the Goddess of Love? That would seem to be your only true form of defense given the mentality of mundanes.

[Speaking of love, know how locked on to his dead girlfriend Sherlock is? He's from the Edwardian Era, where ankles are scandalous, and yet he's not even registering that Aphrodite is attractive. And he's a freaking teenage boy, the demographic known for their total lack of standards. You aren't Elizabeth so you are neither attractive nor are you impressive despite being a goddess.]

[lovedbynone]

I'd say "you could always just fly under the radar" but that's not really you, is it?

[halfdressed]

Hey, Artemis was cool. Little hench on the archery, but still. Also, what about being married? I'm single, thanks very much, not that it's any of your business.

[ fffff marriage. As if. ]

Do you have some kind of internal damage you project onto whoever happens to be around? Because I don't know you from Discord's dead, skanky backside right now.

[halfdressed]

I seriously don't think that would go down. I've tried pretending to be the Goddess of the Hunt, Wisdom, even a warrior like my big bro Herc, it just didn't pan out.

[ She is way attractive, even for a goddess, which would be her argument, but he only gets a fond look for his advice. It's not like she chases down admirers, it's the respect that means something. Well, and the fawning is nice, but still. Go team True Love! ]

What's your name, cutie? It's super sweet of you to try and help a girl out.

[halfdressed]

And it wouldn't be much fun, you've got that right.

[a_good_detective]

Perhaps you're not using the right methodology. There's always something new to be tried, and I, at least, have few other possible suggestions.

Ah, forgive my lack of introduction. My name is Sherlock Holmes. And personally I think everyone here should endeavor to help one another out. We are, figuratively speaking, in the same boat, after all.

[halfdressed]

Hit me with what you're cooking, Shirley. You've got my attention.

[idkworldruler]

Had no clue they were serious problems.

[a_good_detective]

Perhaps you could simply act as if you don't know what people are talking about when people question you on romantic topics. People are not perceptive, especially when it's men regarding women. No matter how intelligent a woman is all that's needed to hide that is to feign ignorance as much as possible. My mother prized that tactic to get out of all kinds of conversations.

Granted, it will get tiring, but it usually does work.

[halfdressed]

Okay, well, maybe you aren't rude, then. Maybe you're just weird instead.

[idkworldruler]

I beg to differ. I'm probably the most normal person in this post.

[halfdressed]

The problem with that is people assume I'm already an idiot, and I'd really rather not play into a stereotype. What kind of example would that set for other women already being picked on?

It's a clever ruse though, you mom sounds like a doll.

[halfdressed]

Right, right, of course you are.

[a_good_detective]

Mmm, true. I'm not sure I could stomach the idiot treatment myself; but I've made enough waves that people already avoid me out of principle at this point. Perhaps that could be a defense mechanism in and of itself - just act insufferable. Unfortunately, there's no universal definition of that, so it's not a good plan even in theory.

She is. Rather than letting the inherent failings of society regarding women work against her, she plays up to them and has cultivated a fairly good foolproof shield of defense - should anything go wrong, blame can never be put on her. Even when she is, directly, at fault.

[Hear that pride in his voice? He's such a momma's boy. Mostly because his father is colder than Antarctica during winter at night, but still.]

[halfdressed]

For what it's worth I don't think you could ever be insufferable, even with practice.

[ Adorable, that's what he is. Oh, and Ditey hears that pride, picking up on the affection there. ]

She sounds like my kind of girl. Between you and me, Shirley, I'm not half as good at worming my way out of sticky situations. I guess coasting along is my only real option.

[a_good_detective]

Ah, how awfully deceiving first impressions can be. But the compliment is received with the spirit in which it's intended.

[When he's actively hounding someone, tearing apart their occupation, age and location via a quick scanning look, or casually shooting off a list of reasons why someone is wrong and how many ways they're wrong, he's significantly less adorable.]

People are often most creative when under pressure. You'll think of something. Besides, unlike me, your mun hasn't apped you anywhere yet - you have time. I'm sure you'll get through it fine.

[halfdressed]

A dark horse, huh? I don't care, I think you're cool.

[ As long as he isn't tearing into her, she's happy enough. ]

Thanks, it's nice to hear you're rooting for Team Me. Usually the only people who do that are my worshipers and that's because they want something after leaving a pile of fish at my altars. Anything I can do for you?

[ofspring]

You've attracted quite a crowd, I see.

Unsurprising.