Someone just watched "Everything Wrong With New Moons"...

[paladin_of_iscariot]

Wait... let me get this straight. Vampires - the unholy abominations against God - sparkle in the light of day?

...That's just plain wrong on many levels. Suppose it would make them easier to kill though.

Comments

[flamingskeleton]

They are far easier to kill when week against the rays of the sun.

[paladin_of_iscariot]

Common misconception there. At least for my world. They are creatures of the night to be sure, but they do not burst into flames in the light.

[He's just going to casually allow one of his bayonets fall into his hand, but won't attack just yet. After all, he knows a being of vengeance when he sees one. ...Even if it is decidedly more... leather-bound than he would've thought, somehow.]

[flamingskeleton]

Perhaps in your world, priest. But the ones that I am used to dealing with can easily be destroyed before the breaking of dawn's light.

[He notices the small twitch of movement, the drop of a blade. But does not react, preferring to watch what he would do. It should be noted that he can see into this man's soul to see just how twisted he is.]

[paladin_of_iscariot]

It would indeed make fighting them easier if all one had to do was draw them into the light.

[He pauses, smiling amicably at the Rider.]

Tell me, though. What is a demon doing fighting vampires?

[outofthedepths]

I haven't ever heard of vampires sparkling before....


Do you, um, normally kill vampires?

[paladin_of_iscariot]

Apparently in this one world they do, and stalk teenaged maidens for their impure purposes.

[He nods a bit, donning his one non-threatening smile.]

I am a Paladin of the order of Iscariot. I am charged by the Church to keep the innocent safe from the monsters that would prey on proper God-fearing folk.

[outofthedepths]

Oh. Um.... what are your thoughts on monsters charged by the Church to prey on bad people in order to make them fear God?

[paladin_of_iscariot]

'Tis a blasphemous practice employed by the power hungry to put themselves in a position of power over their fellow man, rather than to bring glory to God.

[He pauses, his mind thinking of Maxwell and his final moments.]

It is a practice that is far too common, however.

[adamah]

Hate to break it to you, but not all them sparkle.

[ Everyone and their damn dog, literally, seem to be a 'vampire hunter' these days. It's pissing him off a little. ]

[paladin_of_iscariot]

Oh, I'm well aware. I've faced off against the Crimson King of Nightmares personally, as well as his many lesser brethren. I'm well acquainted with their kind and their workings. How they think, move, smell. I am a Paladin of Iscariot, it is my job to know my enemy so that they may know the fear of the Lord.

[adamah]

[ Good grief, man! Nice way to make Johnny's skin crawl a little. He can tell there's something 'up' about this Bible-thumping priest. ]

...The Crimson King of Nightmares?

[ Forgive him if he looks a tad baffled at that name. He has no idea who the hell that is. ]

[paladin_of_iscariot]

[His grin only gets more shark-like as he continues, almost as if reminiscing about an old friend.]

The Butcher of Transylvania, The Scourge of the Ottoman Empire, The Prince of Darkness, Son of the Dragon, Vlad the Impaler... but most commonly simply referred to in hushed whispers as Dracula.

[tyrant_flughude]

Abomination? Well I wasn't aware that God had any particular objection to vampires, or demonkind in general.

Humans have the strangest notions about things they don't understand, really.

[Way to miss the point entirely, Val. As usual.]

[paladin_of_iscariot]

So long as they keep to the bowels of Hell to which they were banished. However, when they trouble good God-fearing folk, I answer the call.

Power outages suck.

[tyrant_flughude]

On the contrary, my good fellow. Troubling humans is the duty of all proud demons, myself among them. The human world would fall apart if not for us to set them straight.

But I digress. Allow me to disprove that silly sparkling notion. We most certainly do not.

I hear ya there.

[paladin_of_iscariot]

Oh really, now? It is your "duty" to slaughter, rape, and pillage the countryside? To terrorize the innocent? To prey upon the pious?

If so, then it is with greater conviction that I reaffirm my vow that all your kind shall meet their ends screaming in agony on my blessed blades.

[died_a_virgin]

What....I burn if I go out in the sun without proper protection.

[paladin_of_iscariot]

Yes, because that would make more sense than looking like some schoolgirl's art project.

[persistent_humanity]

[There's an Integra in her mid-30s whose expression promptly falls into one blatant exasperation.]

Don't remind me.

You haven't quite lived until you've been faced with a stack of case files as tall as a desk lamp outlining instances of teenagers -- and sometimes even their mothers -- actively trying to be turned while, and I quote, "Looking for their Edward".

It really makes our incident in Badrick seem like a vacation.

[Because honestly, there are days when she would give anything just to have Iscariot as her headache again, which is a thought that baffles even her. Yes, they were brazen, but she'd rather deal with brazen than outright mindless.]

And don't even get me started on the sparkling. The entire thing is like someone yelled "Infomercial!" at the vampire mythos.

[paladin_of_iscariot]

Lucky for me that I do not deal with paperwork. Bureaucracy would only slow the righteous hand of God from its appointed duties.

To be honest though, I blame your Protestant way of thinking for all this. Bending the rules of God to suit your own ends would only logically begin to bend other rules, to the point of glorifying sinful lifestyles.

[OOC: I find it very ironic that I have to take this argument with Anderson. ...Considering I'm just about as protestant as you can get.]

[persistent_humanity]

A regenerator, lecturing me about bending the will of God.

There really is nothing quite like Catholic hypocrisy to start the morning.

[OOC: Haha, that is amazing. ♥ ]

can't help myself

[174awhile]

To the contrary, I would argue that we're more difficult to kill than the vampires who burst into flames in direct sunlight.

This can only go amazingly.

[paladin_of_iscariot]

[There's a low laughter as he cracks his neck and bares his shark-like teeth.]

Care to put that to the test then?

well i know jack about hellsing so maybe not

[174awhile]

[Eyes widen slightly.]

Do I actually have a choice?

[lastmessiah]

Sparkling vampires...?

[ A soft chuckle escaped the stately magician once he overheard the priest's conversation. ]

Now I've heard everything! You've brought a tickle to my funny bone, good sir.