I. I don't even. (canon is Phineas & Ferb)

[heinzdoofinator]

Aw, c'mon! This is just... No, you know what? It's beyond rude! One second I'm struggling to figure out my next inator and now I'm here!

[CRASH!]

Oh. Oh, great. Now my lab is here, too. That is all well and dandy, but that doesn't explain anything. Like, how I got here or why. Or what's going on, or-

[Heinz pauses, smiles. Behind him, a lightbulb sparks to life. Faulty electricity, of course, and nothing metaphorical at all.]

Hey. Heeeey, wait a second! That's it! My next design! I just needed a change of scenery to spark ideas!

I shall call it...

[He stretches his arms out in a dramatic pose.]

THE BLOGINATOR!!!!!

Comments

[doobydoobydooba]

[You know who else is here? Perry the Platypus, and he just kicked in your door.]

[heinzdoofinator]

[Dramatic gasp!] Perry the Platypus! You-- [Blinks. Slouches. Rubs his chin with his hand.] Hey, wait. You're early.

[Nevermind how you even got here. Now he'll just fold his arms. And glare.]

That's quite rude, Perry the Platypus! And what happened to the key I gave you? Do you know how many times I have to repair that door?!

forgive the lack of icons.

[doobydoobydooba]

[...And Perry at least has the decency to look apologetic at that. Sorry, force of habit]

no prob! had a heck of a time finding mine, so. s'all good!

[heinzdoofinator]

[Good boy. But Heinz is STILL mad. It's the principle of the thing.]

No, no, don't think I'll fall for that look!

[Except... he is. Oh, stop with the eyes and the face and... Heinz groans.]

Oh, fiiiiiiiine. I can't stay too mad at you, Perry the Platypus. Anyway, there's no Inators today. Suddenly crashing into the middle of nowhere put a wrench in my plans for taking over the tri-state area.

[[Separate thread over here.]]

I'm not even a little bit sorry.

[vanshrike]

[Something about this stirs up the strangest sense of deja vu. It is discarded immediately.]

Might want to start with a dictionator there, buddy.

all your fault anyway. jerk.

[heinzdoofinator]

That's not even a real thing. [EYEROLL.] Duh! I never invented it, so it doesn't exist. Obviously!

And even if I could build it, and I most certainly could because I'm quite a genius you see, I never would. It has no evil purpose!

Ahahaha you just made my day!

[mountainofevidence]

[There's a new lab in the neighborhood? Of course Carlos is going to visit! He's about to knock on the door, then notices it's been kicked in. And the shouting. And the... platypus?]

Er... hello? I can come back later...

*bows* :D

[heinzdoofinator]

[Wait, whoah, why is he suddenly so popular? This is.......new. And awkward. But evil scientists can't let social anxiety get in the way of things! ... Besides, his not-boyfriend nemesis is watching.]

No, no, that's, uh... fine! Come in, wipe your feet and... [He turns to his nemesis.] Perry the Platypus! C'mon, don't be rude, you could at least offer our guest tea or... or something!

[Heinz crosses his arms.] Sheesh. And to think you were my enslaved butler once.

Re: *bows* :D

[mountainofevidence]

[Carlos picks his way through the rubble. He's gotten remarkably good at this. And hey, HIS not-but-is-now boyfriend used to play his voicemails over the radio! Kicked down door is nothing!]

Just thought I would introduce myself! I work in the lab next door. I'm Carlos, Carlos - Oh! Thanks! [He takes the offered tea, forgetting to give his last name.]

[doesntdomuch]

[Hey, did you ask for another Perry the Platypus? Because here's another climbing through the window. He knew something's up because Heinz's lab crashing in out of nowhere and it probably means something evil.]

[heinzdoofinator]

[Well at least you chose an open window. No broken glass anywhere because, look, that's a safety hazard.]

Perry the Platypus! [Heinz rubs his neck.] Whoah, deja vu feeling. Anyway, what are you doing here? I don't even have a new Inator built yet!

[doesntdomuch]

[Hey he's at least learned his lesson about that.

Perry just taps his foot and gestures at the... well, all around him. Evil labs just don't come crashing in out of nowhere for no reason, Heinz.]

[heinzdoofinator]

[Doof looks around as well. What's so intere---oh. Oh, the evil lab. Right.]

What? You... you can't think this was my doing, can you?

[...Unless he was building in his sleep. Again.]

I love you 8D

[citrusallergy]

You call everything inator?

*mwah!*

[heinzdoofinator]

Yeah, y'know, it's kinda my thing. Add it to any word and it becomes extra evil sounding. Go on. Try it.

8D

[citrusallergy]

Huh. [He thinks.] Well, I guess Stargateinator is at least... kind of menacing.

[heinzdoofinator]

Precisely! [He rubs his chin.] Except actually that's mostly lame. I mean, why would you even need a gate for stars? It doesn't make sense! What evil plan could possibly use something like that?

[citrusallergy]

It's not a gate for stars. It's stable wormhole technology - so technically it's a gate through the stars - well. Interstellar space.

[vanessessary]

The bloginator. Really, Dad?

[heinzdoofinator]

[And there went all his show-off bravado. Now he's Awkward Dad again.]

Er... well... yeeeeah? [. . .] Aw, c'mon, it's a work in progress! It's... a good start, yes? At least?

[energycreep]

[Craters.]

You remind me of somebody. I think it's the hideously loud obnoxiousness.

[heinzdoofinator]

Except I'm much better at being obnoxious. And evil!

[energycreep]

[Did. Did he just boast about being obnoxious.]

You and every other villain this side of the galaxy. How predictable.~

[heinzdoofinator]

Hey, slow down a bit there, bub. I'm not to the galaxy yet. First I have to conquer the tri-state area. Then, I'll expand.

[energycreep]

You're not even to the -

[pfFFF.]

Even my bumbling fool of a creator owns an entire planet. How pathetic can you possibly be?

[Of course, he himself didn't happen to have any real of his own, but he didn't care as much about galactic domination as Zurg did.]

[madangry_madcrazy]

[Okay, okay. He has to ask.]

A bloginator?

[heinzdoofinator]

[Errrrrr. Scheiße.]

I haven't thought how I'm going to build it yet. Still pondering it over. But the plan will involve social media and making people blog and twitter and book their faces sooo much that they'll be too distracted to do anything else. And I'll be free to take over the TRI! STATE! AREAAAA!!!

[It's a genius plan. You know you're jealous.]

[madangry_madcrazy]

Don't forget tumbling.

Anyhoo, attaboy. You go after that tri-state area of yours. I'll just be over here, working on my evil scheme to take over the world!