On this entire season so far

[onteamdyson]

 Can we just pretend none of this ever happened? I mean, I am totally okay with the panty-stealing powers, but the rest of it? I mean do they even know me anymore? The only relevant stuff is stuff that you called years ago, and everything else is just-- STILL no last name. Lauren has like... two names, and I don't even have a complete one. Which, okay, not like I'll ever use it, but come on! 

And the stuff with Hale, just...

That is not me, okay? That entire thing goes against everything I've been saying the last three years. Plus, it was just really mean. Unnecessary as all hell. He didn't deserve that. And this promo? Everything is bullshit. Can we just ignore an entire season? Can we do that? Let's just forget the whole thing. This is like... Heroes level bullshit without the excuse of a writer's strike. 

Kenzi OUT!

Comments

[lolerskates]

Take what you want and keep it close, baby K. Let the rest just fly by.

[onteamdyson]

I knew you guys were pirates. That is a legit pirate saying, Pony. I'm just gonna crash with you for the rest of ever because you're about a bazillion percent more sane than anyone on the show right now.

[lolerskates]

Been called a lot of things, never a pirate though. I like it.

Oh, little starshine, always a guest, don't you hold back. But these ears are here for other things 'sides music, you wanna blast out some noise 'fore it eats you up?

[onteamdyson]

There's a lot of noise I'd like to blast, but I don't want to spoil your mun lady for all the crap that's coming up. Let her enjoy the epic-awesomeness that is the first three seasons in blissful ignorance.

[lolerskates]

Sounds good.

Ain't gonna let that pretty face keep frowning, though, 'sa real crime against nature. C'mere c'mere, lets forget all the nasty.

[onteamdyson]

Ugh, you're the best. We need another movie night like Honey Booboo needs chicken nuggets. You and me and a bowl of popcorn. Maybe you will actually stick around, unlike certain crazy-acting succubi.

[lolerskates]

[ An arm around her shoulders, a little reassuring squeeze and he rubs her shoulder too.]

Heyhey, don't you worry about that. I ain't goin' nowhere.
We can wash away the sadness with some bad movies, yeah?

[onteamdyson]

Wow, see-- this? This is why I love you. [Clinghug!]

[lolerskates]

[ A little kiss on her head and everything. He rests his head on hers and keeps rubbing her arm all gentle.]

Love you too, superstar.
Real talk, though. Don't let all of this bring you down. Keep your feet on the ground, scream and cry all you need, but come back and fight what you have to fight. Don't let it win. You'll be okay.

[intruding]

You wanna ignore a season? Try three. It's fine, sometimes you just gotta do it.

[onteamdyson]

Is it bad that I'm kind of hoping they don't renew this pile of crap with a healthy dose of crazy on top? I mean... I was gonna say YES?! No I wasn't. IT'S BEEN WEEKS! We weren't even LIVING TOGETHER! I freaked when Nate gave me the KEY! God.

Oh hey, you're way-too-late ambulance guy. Nice going. You owe Finn a fruit basket.

[intruding]

I hear you, it's not bad. I haven't really seen daylight in years and I'm still hoping --

Oh. You know, uh, that wasn't exactly my fault. I don't think they were really planning on letting me get there at all.

[onteamdyson]

You need an AU. These things are freakin' awesomesauce. Shitty writing? No problem! Rewrite it. So much better.

[Glaaaaaaare.] You still owe him a fruit basket. One of those classy edible arrangements with the chocolate covered strawberries. The thread was brutal, dude. Gotta blame SOME Torontonian paramedic.

[intruding]

I tried it once, everybody died. Thinking I'm gonna stick to the meta circuit for a while, see what happens.

And... for what it's worth, I'm sorry. You look alright now, though. [ Not helping! Uhh. ] I'm Toby.

[onteamdyson]

As long as you get some time to breathe, right? Kickin' it outside the musty, cramped headspace for a bit.

[GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!] Yeah, thanks. Charmed. If we end up hanging out, you better be on time.

[gleans]

For real, it took threat of death just to get you to move in with me. [ Pause. Wait. ] ... Shit, no, back up, that sounded terrible.

[onteamdyson]

Uuuuh... h-ha, wow, you're gonna give people the wrong idea, babe. But no, seriously, we took our sweet-ass time. This is just... insanity. I don't even know.

By the way, ahem, HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY! Way to be old.

[gleans]

[ HANDWAVE HANDWAVE ugh, Galen, think before you speak. ]

Ayyy, thanks. I'm kinda feeling it this time. Like, fuck this, I wanna be downgraded to 24 again.

[onteamdyson]

No way! The older guy thing is pretty hot. Okay, so you're not like a few hundred years older or thousands or anything like that, but babe. You're almost THIRTY!

[gleans]

I did thirty once, fuck that. I'm just gonna stop having birthdays. Dorian that shit.

[onteamdyson]

Says the guy that can sometimes live forever looking uber hot as it is. Just rub it in, ya butt. Hang on, hang on... I'm trying to picture you at thirty. [Pfff.... pfffffffffffff.] Yep, still a dork.

[gleans]

Well fuckin' good, cuz you love it. [ Hehehehe. ] So how much cake are we eating tonight?

[onteamdyson]

Do not. [YES SHE DOES.] Um... all of it? Why is that even a question? Half for you, half for me, about a million candles and a bottle of champagne. Deal of a lifetime.

[looklikeicare]

It is the shits.

[onteamdyson]

You said it, sister. [Things haven't exactly been peachy for Tamtam, either, huh?]

The only good thing about any of this? Me and you. I wouldn't take that back for anything.

[looklikeicare]

I am precious, aren't I, Moms.

[Although the mun agrees! Part of her favourite stuff this season.]

[onteamdyson]

The most precious. Look at these widdle cheeks! [CHEEK PINCH! No, but seriously. For someone that made a kid a sandwich in the microwave, Tamsin really brought out some maternal instincts.]

What do you say? We ditch the whole season, go find Bruce, and head somewhere sunny. Road trip!

[goodluckkobra]

No, but tell me more about this panty-stealing, Kenz.

[onteamdyson]

I am insanely good at it. You better hold onto yours, KK. I could shadow thief them right off you and you wouldn't feel a thing.

[goodluckkobra]

'M already not wearin' any underwear, Fleet Week.

[ He leans over her with a grin firmly in place. ]

[onteamdyson]

[Ugh, why is she friends with you again? Have a SHOVE, Kobra, with both hands.]

Maybe I should steal some for you. Pants that tight, there's bound to be some chafing.

[goodluckkobra]

Oh, you wanna help me with my chafing?

[ His grin only gets bigger and he wraps his long, noodly arms around her and pulls her into a tight and inescapable hug. ]

[onteamdyson]

[Noodly hugs of doom are very much welcome. Clingtach!] I missed your stupid face a LOT. Not just... your face, but the youness in general. This specific you.

[goodluckkobra]

I missed your nonsense, too, Kenz.

[ Yes, the irony is entirely lost on him. ]

Who the fuck do I have to fuck around here to keep you?