coming to thousand_stars very soon

[aloof_savant]

Hey mun, you do realize I'm smarter than most of the muses in your head, right? And I don't exactly fight like all the others... in fact, I don't fight at all! So, you know, good luck talking us out of any sticky situations in the future. I have complete unwavering faith in you... At least you got my sexuality right.

Comments

[fierce_marauder]

Sounds like you need a bodyguard.

[aloof_savant]

What I need is a nap. The quiet kind, far out in the plains, in which I dream about Albert spilling martini over his favourite coat.

[fierce_marauder]

....

Y'know, I'm tryin' not to judge, but thaaaat's a weird thing to dream about. Are you like... hoping this dude is going to take his coat off or something?

[aloof_savant]

Ha! Get your mind out of the gutter before I try not to judge you. My mun has interesting recollections involving your escapades, do you really want to talk about weird?

[fierce_marauder]

What!?! YOU CAN'T SHARE MEMORIES, THAT'S NOT FAIR!

I'm a changed man now! Matured from years and years of my mun's growing up and actually becoming a functional adult.

Good luck finding a bodyguard now.

[aloof_savant]

"Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster."

Well... not that you're an enemy, but I found your NON-JUDGMENTAL approach very unfriendly, sir!

[fierce_marauder]

Well my first approach was to offer to be your bodyguard, but then you started babblin' on about dreamin'!!

[aloof_savant]

Oh, really? It sounded more like a statement than an offer. Like if I were to say, sounds like you need a haircut. Do you think I want to cut your hair? ...Because I don't! I don't even want to cut my own.

[fierce_marauder]

Well, then I'd expect you to introduce me to someone who would cut my hair, man! Like if I said, looks like you're hungry, I'd offer you some food, or tell you where to get it!

[aloof_savant]

Wow, sir, for a bodyguard you sure demand a lot of expectations! Maybe you should hire me as a business advisor... Something tells me you're not doing too well.

[fierce_marauder]

I'm not a bodyguard, I'm a pirate! And it's just common courtesy, not a demand! Man, you're annoying!

You're on your own when you get in trouble, kiddo.

[aloof_savant]

A pirate offering to protect me? From who, the authorities? Uh... thank you for your courtesy...

[fierce_marauder]

Bet this stupid kid doesn't even have that much money anyway--!! WALK AWAY, HERVEY, WALK AWAY.

[quicksmart]

Perhaps you should learn to fight if you spend so much time getting into sticky situations.

[aloof_savant]

You think I can just karate chop myself out of the situations my mun would drag me into?

[quicksmart]

That would be very inefficient unless you were a trained expert. I was thinking perhaps of rudimentary know-how with a weapon.

Of course, if you were as clever as you say, you wouldn't be getting yourself into those situations in the first place.

[aloof_savant]

Yeah, like some sort of barbarian! Look, I'm a minimum-casualty kind of guy... winning wars with sheer dominance is that fool Albert's forte.

[quicksmart]

It's very rude of you to be calling fighters barbarians.

And you should be flexible if you're hoping to win a war.

[aloof_savant]

Hah, I should introduce you to my friend Apple sometime! You two make a fine pair of nagging clever ladies.

[quicksmart]

I must decline your invitation of introduction. I do not have time to make friends.

[aloof_savant]

You know what, I find that not very hard to believe at all.

[quicksmart]

Hmph.

Rude indeed.

[aloof_savant]

...I feel that could have gone better.