Even the sweetest characters get frustrated with their players after a while.

[thewomanwhocounts]

 So let me get this straight:

First you were excited because I had a happy sex life, and now you're happy that my engagement didn't work? So you want me to... have sex, but not be in an actual relationship? Or was it that you just didn't like Tom?

Speaking of Tom, he wasn't 'useless'! Just because you didn't see much of him doesn't mean that he wasn't a very lovely man. And just because we broke it off doesn't mean he turned out to be a sociopath after all! Do you even know what that word means?

And for your information, while we're on the subject of men, I am over him. It was just uncomfortable watching him with that Jeanine woman because, you know. It was. John was clearly uncomfortable. So can we please stop talking about it?

Lastly, no, I don't know how he's back, but if he is, it's something Sherlock's going to have to deal with, and I'll help him if I can. I always help Sherlock. Yes, the slapping was helping. No, it wasn't funny. At least pretend to be mature once in a while, okay?

Comments

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[He stares at her for a minute, debating if he should tell her the truth. Ah, screw it.]

He was sending me to my death, Molly. "Missing" any of you was less important than thinking about how to stay alive.

[He pauses.]

It is always darkest just before the dawn - isn't that the saying?

[Not helping.]

[thewomanwhocounts]

... I'm sorry, what?

[Because this clearly trumps everything else.]

Surely your own brother wasn't going to execute you!

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Sherlock gives her a look.]

Don't be absurd. He was sending me to my death: giving me an assignment that would certainly lead to my death within six months.

[thewomanwhocounts]

But most of your cases should have killed you. What made him think this one actually would?

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

Because my brother told me it would. He had initially planned to not send me, but after what I did... he didn't have much of a choice.

[Sherlock is terribly calm about this whole thing.]

[thewomanwhocounts]

[It's that calm that makes her think he's joking.]

Your brother doesn't know everything, Sherlock.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

Everything in general? No. But he knew that for certain, it was why he wasn't going to send me on that assignment initially. I.... forced his hand.

[thewomanwhocounts]

Unless he timed it himself, he couldn't predict certain death as an outcome. Not for you. You've survived certain death once.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

Molly...

[He takes a breath.]

Not even my brother would be so sentimental.

[thewomanwhocounts]

Sentiment has nothing to do with it. You're a hard man to kill, Sherlock. I'm sure John's attempted it at least twice.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Sherlock shakes his head 'no' once.]

Molly, my brother knows me. He knows what I'm capable of and my weaknesses. If he says I would have been dead in six months, I am fairly sure that would be the case.

[He sighs and huffs to himself.]

I think I liked it better when you slapped me. Didn't have to deal with all these... emotions.

[thewomanwhocounts]

Would you like me to slap some sense into you now? Because honestly, I'm almost beginning to think I prefer your arrogance to this.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Sherlock frowns.]

What do you mean?

[thewomanwhocounts]

You sound almost... fatalistic. You're usually just so much surer of yourself, and if Mycroft told you you couldn't do something, that just made you more determined to do it.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

Accepting. Not fatalistic. Death changes a person, Molly.

[Even if it was only a few minutes...]

[thewomanwhocounts]

What would have happened if you'd been 'accepting' when Moriarty was around?

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Sherlock's lips quirk in a little.]

Who says I wasn't? At the pool? The only thing that saved us was a phone call...

[thewomanwhocounts]

[She doesn't want to believe that.]

No....

No, I don't think that's true. You wouldn't have let John die with you.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

You underestimate just how dire the situation was.

[He pauses thoughtfully.]

"Hero worship." It was Janine's 'human error.'

[He's accepting, not stupid.]

[thewomanwhocounts]

I wasn't there. I can't really judge.

... what does hero worship have to do with anything?

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

You worship me as a hero, so you can't let yourself believe I would kill or let anyone die if I could save them....


...Speaking from recent intimate experience, death isn't the worst thing that can happen to you.

[thewomanwhocounts]

I don't-... I don't worship you, I... you're my friend. I believe in you.

The worst thing about death isn't dying. It's what you leave behind.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

The results are the same...

[Sherlock laughs at her last comment, full-on laugh for several seconds. But his tone becomes almost threatening just as quickly.]

Try it, sometime.

[He's been on all sides of death now, Molly, he knows what he's talking about.]

[thewomanwhocounts]

[She grows solemn at that, even a bit defensive.]

I've seen one too many sets of friends and families tearing themselves up over a lost loved one lying in my morgue. I'm not saying death isn't difficult, but aside from the trauma at the moment of death, the cadaver has it easy. It doesn't need to worry about putting up a brave front at a funeral or about potentially getting hooked on morphine as it recovers. I've had to watch John and Mrs. Hudson and even Greg, all partially blaming themselves for your death, and for two years, I couldn't breathe a word to smooth things over. So don't stand there and act as though I'm a child who doesn't know the first thing about death when I'm up to my arms in it every day!

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Oh see, that just gets him worked up. Molly's about to get dose of Sherlock's reality check. Sorry.]

Then you should be well aware, Molly Hooper, of what the body goes through as it's dying. Now... take that knowledge and wrap it up with a mind like mine! A mind, that up until that point in time had known how dying would actually feel.

You think you had it rough for those two years? I was completely cut off from everyone, Molly. And I was taking down Moriarty's network. I was caught and tortured more times than I care to count. Several times, I nearly begged for death. But you know what? Not any more. You know why? Because dying is worse than torture. And if I have to go through that ever again, I'd rather it be with a permanent result.

Does that sound fatalistic? Then know this: Should any of my friends be in any mortal danger no power on Earth or in Heaven will stop me from protecting them!

[Excuse Sherlock as he is breathing heavily. He doesn't do any emotion well.]