Michel Combeferre (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
but_civilization) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2013-12-23 02:54 am
but_civilization) wrote in dear_mun2013-12-23 02:54 am
Entry tags:
On Events, and Jump Gifts at Ataraxion:
Madame Secretary,
I was, in fact, wrong when I argued with you about this jump. I will write that again so that you may frame it, stare at it, do whatever you like because I know you will not leave me alone unless it's said again.
I. Was. Wrong.
I have not been happier to be wrong before. I have not been so relaxed in some months with regard to everything, but a new beginning does seem the right way to approach this. I do not think...I know that I am not ready entirely to begin in doctoring again, but I can make a start, I feel as though I am now ready to begin to fight those demons that surround me, and that I am able to handle them at last.
It's taken a damned long while for me to feel comfortable with that, and while I dislike many things about what we got into, while realizing that it was not your fault, because I did fully and freely consent to this experiment, the gift of my old kit, and the conversation with Jehan have done much to put me at ease, and to help me find where it is I should be going next.
Will I stumble? Will I fall? Undoubtedly, but I am, at last, ready to begin again, with a clear mind and something of a new purpose to lead me. Who would have known that something I thought myself not ready for, combined with the sorrow of losing friends, would bring me to wish for another way?
You know me better than I've tried to let you, and I am glad for that. Perhaps, even now the microwaves on board ship are breathing sighs of microwavey relief that I will not be directing as much of my energies upon them but...
I feel much more my old self, with some purpose and the clear chance to begin again. Thank you for your patience and your time, and energy in bringing me back here, where I might be more content.
-Michel Combeferre
I was, in fact, wrong when I argued with you about this jump. I will write that again so that you may frame it, stare at it, do whatever you like because I know you will not leave me alone unless it's said again.
I. Was. Wrong.
I have not been happier to be wrong before. I have not been so relaxed in some months with regard to everything, but a new beginning does seem the right way to approach this. I do not think...I know that I am not ready entirely to begin in doctoring again, but I can make a start, I feel as though I am now ready to begin to fight those demons that surround me, and that I am able to handle them at last.
It's taken a damned long while for me to feel comfortable with that, and while I dislike many things about what we got into, while realizing that it was not your fault, because I did fully and freely consent to this experiment, the gift of my old kit, and the conversation with Jehan have done much to put me at ease, and to help me find where it is I should be going next.
Will I stumble? Will I fall? Undoubtedly, but I am, at last, ready to begin again, with a clear mind and something of a new purpose to lead me. Who would have known that something I thought myself not ready for, combined with the sorrow of losing friends, would bring me to wish for another way?
You know me better than I've tried to let you, and I am glad for that. Perhaps, even now the microwaves on board ship are breathing sighs of microwavey relief that I will not be directing as much of my energies upon them but...
I feel much more my old self, with some purpose and the clear chance to begin again. Thank you for your patience and your time, and energy in bringing me back here, where I might be more content.
-Michel Combeferre