Pondering thewake, canon is Young Sherlock Holmes

[a_good_detective]

I have no idea why you would consider my canon a Christmas film. It merely takes place in winter, and I would rather not associate the events of it with Christmas. It is an amicable enough holiday, even for an atheist such as myself. Although doubtless Watson's presence would make it better, I haven't yet seen him here. A shame. He always sees more beauty in things than there really are. If his ambition to be a doctor should not come to pass, he could make a decent writer, I have no doubt.

Now, to address the real issue. Although this time of the year has brought you back to my canon, you have been through the metaphorical wringer lately. The game sounds intriguing, the chance to meet others from other worlds and time periods is of course tempting to me. You know curiosity is my greatest vice. It is what has caused all my failures and all of my triumphs. But I would like to remind you that unlike my adult counterpart, my investigations have a way of harming others. The truth is a very painful thing indeed. And I do not wish to let my desire to deduce things bring more conflict to any game.

My other vice need not be addressed. I doubt any game would allow for it, so the point is moot.

...could you at least find me a game with a Watson? I do miss him.

Comments

[runstodanger]

The adult Sherlock I know does look a bit like you.

[a_good_detective]

Watson. It's good to see you. Disheartening that your time in the desert wounded you, but you seem to have achieved your dream of becoming a doctor. Well done. Knew you had it in you.

Though I must say, your hair is rather light compared to the Watson of my 'canon'.

I couldn't help myself.

[bewaiting]

I'm sure whatever happens, wherever you find yourself, you'll find your place there.

And there's nothing wrong with your curiosity, Sherlock.

/screams and flails

[a_good_detective]

...Elizabeth, [he says quietly, a half-murmured prayer, and he approaches her like she's something from a dream.] I don't understand how this is possible. You... [Died because of him. Got hurt because of him, just like his mother. Just like Watson.]

[bewaiting]

[His saying her name makes her smile, and she’s already crossing the remaining distance between them, reaching up to touch his cheek with a gentle hand.] I’m here, now.

[a_good_detective]

If I believed in God, I'd call this a miracle, [he says softly, running a hand through her hair as though to assure himself this is real, this is happening. After everything that happened, after Rathe and her dying and everything going wrong, the emotion had drained from him. He was a colder Sherlock than he had been before, and as he had ridden off to Mycroft's while his schooling arrangements were sorted out, he had felt a numbness overtake him, a sort of detachment from the world. He had no longer felt like part of the swirling masses of people around him, and had no desire to ever feel such emotions as they displayed ever again.

But Elizabeth's presence undoes that, so quickly it's hard to breathe. He feels too much for her to push any of it aside, and improper as some might find it, he embraces her tightly, looking dismayed.]

I'm so sorry. I failed you. If it weren't for me, you would never have been hurt.

[bewaiting]

[Oh Sherlock. She’s embracing him just as tightly. As much for herself as for him. His words tear at her.]

Nonsense. If it weren’t for you, Rathe would have succeeded in his schemes.

[She pulls back, just enough to look him in the eye.] My death wasn’t your fault, Sherlock. [She knows that, knows that with all her heart. It’s just a matter of convincing him of that.]

[a_good_detective]

You speak as if you didn't have a part in it, yourself. I dragged you into my mess, my need to investigate everything, and I? I paid no price for it, but those near to me paid it all in my stead.

[He cannot meet her eyes. Not now.] It was every bit my fault. And you are too kind to realize it. Must be a side effect of being the better half of our relationship.

[After all, she was the good girl, the cheerful and friendly one, the gentle one who knew how to approach people. He was the rule breaker, the intellectual and cocky one, the boy who thought himself more than what he was. Their little opposite traits had never stopped what they felt for each other, but in moments like this, concerning matters of the heart, it creates a bit of a disconnect.]

[bewaiting]

And you speak as though you forced me to get involved. There was no dragging. I made the choice to stand by your side in this. There was no possibility of my staying out of it. Not after my uncle’s murder. [When she next speaks, her voice is sad.] You don’t think you paid a price? You paid as much as any of us did. [Does he think she didn’t notice the difference in him?]

[She sighs, gently turning his face to hers. She’s long since grown accustomed to him, to their differences, to how he thinks. Convincing him will probably take something similar to that miracle he mentioned. But she won’t stop trying.] No, Sherlock. It wasn’t. And it has nothing to do with kindness and everything to do with fact.

[a_good_detective]

I haven't paid any price for what I've done. Watson is still having nightmares, you are dead, and I? I'm off to a better school. Look at those facts.

[He looks at her with something like resolve in his eyes, though it's more like a cold analytical dislike of himself. This wound cut deep, and he had changed for it, in more ways than he realized.] I could have convinced you to step out of things at some point. Done something more to protect you.

[bewaiting]

And none of it affected you? I don’t think that could be farther from the truth.

[She doesn’t like that look in his eyes. She doesn’t like it at all. ] No, you couldn’t have. I wanted to be involved. I wanted to lend whatever help I could. I wanted to be there with you.

[a_good_detective]

None it affected me negatively. It simply taught me what my weaknesses are.

...my mun wishes to ask if yours is going to place you in a game. [He will follow. Of course he will.]

[bewaiting]

[And that’s not negatively? She can see it, in how he’s changed. And it breaks her heart.] It’s not weakness, Sherlock. It never was. [She cannot help the sadness in her eyes.]

Mine hadn’t considered it, actually. Not until this thread. But she’s not sure where. Although there’s a game called ‘Throne of Shadows’ that she quite likes. And one called ‘Whitechapel Road’ that she’s found interesting.

[a_good_detective]

[He's not going to get into that debate with her. It might break him entirely, and he is not who he had been. He doesn't display emotion so readily, now. Instead he chooses to make the offhand comment,] If nothing else, it cemented my atheism.

Mine is interested in sending me to The Wake, as indicated above. But I would like to see the places you may go.

[bewaiting]

[She doesn’t push. She can’t; she won’t. But she won’t give up, either. For now... she lets it go.]

I would like that, too. [To have him there with her, anywhere with her, is more than she can possibly hope for.]

[a_good_detective]

It might be good for us, to go somewhere. So that I might start making up for things. The Wake at least is thoroughly protected b a surplus of heroic men and women, which is very much a point in its' favor. And perhaps with us there our muns might be able to have the other muns search for Watson.

I confess, for all that went wrong, for how dark things turned out in the end, those moments with the two of you by my side are what I imagine it would be like to have a family.

[He leans in and gives her a rare, tender kiss to the forehead, and a smile. Watson has no idea how broken the house of Holmes is, but Sherlock had given Elizabeth the rough details: that his mother was depressed and withdrawn, that Sherlock had nearly destroyed his parents' marriage with his need to solve a mystery, that Mycroft was completely detached from the rest of them.

So while he has never had a true family like many of his peers at school had, he has had Elizabeth. And that has been more than worth something.]

[bewaiting]

I think it would be. [He has nothing to make up for, and she wishes that she could convince him of that. And perhaps she’ll be able to, given time. But for now... she lets it go. She knows him, knows how tenacious he can be. This would be no different, she suspects.] Although my mun might have to be persuaded towards The Wake. It isn’t her... usual preference, for games. For me... having you beside me would make any place tolerable. And it would be good to see Watson again.

[She closes her eyes briefly when he kisses her forehead, before smiling up at him.]

[a_good_detective]

Well, then, we can always find a game to your mun's liking. Mine is quite flexible, and rather merciful in that all she wishes is that we be together. She knows it would be best for both of us.

Who knows? Perhaps we'll find Watson again, and we can come together somewhere. I wouldn't object to it, even if I have changed a bit since what has happened. Understand I did not change willingly, my dear Elizabeth. I just... shifted, towards something more analytical and deductive. It will help me help others in the long run.

[bewaiting]

She’s not... completely opposed to that game.

[She smiles sadly.] I know, Sherlock. I know. [She could never blame him for it, not with what happened. But the change still made her sad. That he had to go through that at all... She would change it, if she could. If it would allow them to be together. It if would allow him to be happy. But perhaps they still can be. Here. Now.] I’m not going anywhere.