forever homeless i'm sure;

[batterypowered]

You're kidding me with this right? I see you over there, giving me eyes, then the other guy, and that app isn't even mine.

I have to tell you, I'm deeply offended. Stark Industries is offended. Your nation is offended. (Well, actually, they're always offended, but this one occasion is specifically for you. There are trophies with your name on them and everything, I'd know, I had them engraved.)

Come on, what is this, I'm only worth 12% of your time? It hurts, it really does.

Comments

[chaostic]

12% is much more than a meager human deserves. I would venture for you mundane to reconsider. Spend far less time than allotted.

Clearly they're wasting even such a miniscule percentage on you, Stark

[batterypowered]

Well, you're wasting enough talking to me, I mean, clearly there's something to be said for my irresistibility.

[chaostic]

If the irresistible urge to wipe a particular individual from existence counts in that category then I shall concede to this.

[sonofcoul]

I think it's safe to file the situation squarely under 'inconvenience' instead of 'tragedy', Mr. Stark.

[batterypowered]

Great job you're doing there on the elaborate plan to kill me. What are you, a James Bond villain?

[batterypowered]

Phil, Phi--I forget, is it still okay if I call you Phil? Let's just be honest and say that "inconvenience" is your convenient way of ignoring the problem until it's blowing up in your face. Most of the time, literally.

[chaostic]

[Who in the Nine Realms is James Bond?]

The only failing in said plan is that the portal did not close fast enough. Technicalities, Stark.

[The glorious part being he didn't even plan for the engineer to follow through with a death wish to save his people. Then again, the Trickster holds no true value for human life in his mind.]

[batterypowered]

[He doesn't actually expect you to know, Loki. Not that it's going to stop the deluge of incomprehensible references.]

That must just be a bad villain thing: it's always technicality-this, and 'oh the power system glitched'-that when things go wrong. There's a lot more dignity in just admitting you're a second-class Voldemort than blaming "technicalities" like an amateur.

you said the name

[flightofdeath]

Learning one's place can, at first, prove difficult, but acceptance should come with time.

I AM CRACKING THE FUCK UP

[batterypowered]

That's great, but I'm not looking for a twelve-step plan, kid. Those never work.

[You're one to talk about demands on someone's time, Big V.]

[chaostic]

The point being, imbecile, is that extinguishing your life was merely an afterthought along the way. Had it failed or succeeded is immaterial to the plan itself.

Your death is just a bonus I do not get to enjoy.

[God, Stark. Taking over earth wasn't about you. You just happened to have the flashiest tower. It's merely a coincidence.]

Are you so arrogant as to think I invaded Midgard just because of you? [laughs] You speak of irresistibility, but that does not make you the center of Yggdrasil.

I do not have to lay claims to failure in my objective. The Chitauri weren't able to claim their glory which is no consequence of mine. I accomplished what I'd set forth to do.

[Which is, namely, to screw with the realm his oaf of brother holds so dear. Surely there are other reasons, but that's a whole mixed bag of cats no one wants to get into.]

[incrediblebanner]

Somehow, I think you'll survive.

[sonofcoul]

Feel free to call me Phil for as long as it doesn't just feel weird to you, Mr. Stark.

And do you really think that this is the kind of problem liable to blow up in your face?

[batterypowered]

And funny enough, those all sound exactly like excuses to me.

[A coincidence he happens to take very personally, thank you.]

But we could all say the same thing about you. You're not exactly winning awards for being inconspicuous. [He'd know.] Somehow, I'm just not sure the universe revolves around you or that dorky helmet.

Which, by the way, I mean while we're both here and we're being honest, has got to go. It makes you look like a Christmas tree somehow merged with a deer (or mated with it, and please don't tell me).

[batterypowered]

I just find it safer to assume it always will.

[sonofcoul]

That's a surprisingly healthy level of caution.

I AM SO SORRY.

[batterypowered]

Maybe. [But that would require some attention, all of which is elsewhere at the moment.]

You know, you're looking a bit...perkier than usual.

[batterypowered]

I'm a little tired of things actually blowing up in my face. It takes a long time and a lot of effort that isn't always mine to look this good?

oh, Tony.

[incrediblebanner]

Perky is not the word most people would use to describe me.

[sonofcoul]

I'm not going to contradict you.

/o\

[batterypowered]

Thus being a...notable deviation from the norm. You know, among other things. It's an improvement, right? Perky is a uh...a good thing.

Re: /o\

[incrediblebanner]

Do I want to know what you think is perky about me?

gah typoooooes why.

[batterypowered]

Color me shocked, Phil, no reprimands? Is this new-found efficiency a personal growth moment? Are we sharing a moment? I feel like this needs to be archived somewhere. Facebook, maybe. Does S.H.I.E.L.D do Facebook?

[batterypowered]

[No.]

Well, you're not frowning for starter--okay well you weren't. I almost got half a smile, I think that's an improvement.

[incrediblebanner]

You based that solely on my expression?