voice testing this terrible guy.

[cptnhammer]

Mundane, I have to say, you have chosen the perfect person. With my fantastic hair and amazing ability to save people, you couldn't have chosen a better person to play! So long as you keep me as flawless as I usually am, of course.

I won't hesitate to use my actual hammer if you don't, you see.

Even so, good job to you, mun!

Comments

[arach_nerd]

...y'know, I thought nobody could be a bigger sellout than Booster Gold, bit then you came along.

[cptnhammer]

I don't know what you mean, masked ruffian! I'm not a sell out. I'm Captain Hammer, best superhero that the world has seen!

[energycreep]

Why do all you hero types think you're so perfect?

If I had the capacity to be physically ill I'd be gagging.

[cptnhammer]

I don't know about other heroes, strange creature, but I think so because I am. I mean, just look at this hair!

[energycreep]

Ohhh, I see. Yeh, your aesthetic appearance has everything to do with your skill as a dispenser of justice and with your merits as an upstanding citizen, doesn't it?

Don't take his icon keywords seriously... You might hurt yourself ;)

[tricksterofasgard]

Perfect, you say?

[He can't help but smile in amusement. Some of you mortals sure are amusing, aren't you?]

Don't you agree that that perfection tends to depend on the viewer's perception?

I s'pose it's lucky that Hammer already has a nemesis- he'd take them seriously

[cptnhammer]

[ Hammer is the most amusing. And annoying.. Mostly annoying. ]

Viewer's perception of me tends to be that I am as perfect as I say! Many of my supporters and otherwise would agree.

Oh, I bet he would... Can Loki please sneak him into the Avengers group and enjoy the show?

[tricksterofasgard]

[Loki shall settle with amusing. At least Captain Hammer doesn't swing a real hammer like certain... other... heroes...]

Many, but not most, or even all, if I take that correctly. How do you go about convincing nonbelievers?

That would be fantastic oh god. He'd be fascinated with Thor's sword.. And hair. Maybe even jealous.

[cptnhammer]

[ He was named hammer for something compleeetely different than an actual hammer. ]

After they see me defeat my nemesis - Doctor Horrible - in my most totally awesome way, they are convinced themselves. I'm that amazing, you see.

He can just let his own hair grow and stop shaving until he becomes just as hairy~

[tricksterofasgard]

[Well, at least he is tactful enough to use an actual hammer on his shirt.]

And how often do you defeat this nemesis of yours?

I don't think even his hair can beat Asgardian locks.

[cptnhammer]

[ Hey, he has some sensibilities. Well, it's mostly that he doesn't want to insult the ladies too much. They wouldn't sleep with him if he did. ]

Every time he tries another evil scheme! His evilness is nothing compared to my ability as a superhero.

You don't know unless you try. Be equal hero buddies and all!

[tricksterofasgard]

[And yet it would be far more direct if he just chose to use the real hammer.]

And you never took care of him for good? You really must be a superhero then. Everyone else would just... Kill their enemies.

He'd attempt it, if only to see if he could beat Thor.

[cptnhammer]

[ Insert a shocked, absolutely disgusted gasp here. ]

Kill? We superheroes aren't the bad guys, strange man! We don't kill our enemies!

...now I wish this was a webcomic...

[tricksterofasgard]

[My work here is done.]

You know, sometimes I wonder why that is the case. It's not exactly a trait limited to mortal heroes after all.

If I had the ability to draw, I totally would've made it a thing.

[cptnhammer]

[ Even the suggestion of the good guys killing their enemies is enough to stun him. Beating them up and humiliating them is okay, just not killing, apparently. ]

It's the case because we superheroes in the League of Good Guys don't believe in lowering ourselves to that of the common villain! We have a moral compass!

[ An actual moral compass. It's a weird, science-y thing that he doesn't understand, but it exists. Also, please excuse the stupid name of the League. A drunk guy came up with it. ]

Hehe~ I guess I shall settle with entertaining the raw idea ;)

[tricksterofasgard]

So it's not the humble believe that even the most wicked soul deserves a chance to change their ways of heart for the better but a mere superiority complex? Now that I find enlightening.

[A smirk. He might use this all in his own favor.]

So how many men does your League consist of?

All I have to say is this: dfghdrtuj

[cptnhammer]

Yes!

[ He doesn't exactly know what it is he's agreeing to, considering he was too busy distracting himself with his gloves and hair. ]

Quite a few. More than I can count. The side of the good will never be banished with the team that we have acquired.

We have created a new monster. BE PROUD!!

[tricksterofasgard]

[Don't worry, Loki noticed. He shall merely smirk at that answer.]

Are they all as perfect as you are?

[hunter_maverick]

A human who dares claim perfection? Heh. That's almost cute. Almost.

[cptnhammer]

There is no reason to laugh as you are, sir, as I only tell the truth!

[hunter_maverick]

Then why don't you just prove it, hmm? If you are as strong as you say you are, perhaps you should punch me.

[That is, assuming that even with super strength, a titanium chassis wouldn't shatter your hand. Sigma was kind of built to shrug off a tank shell after all.]