On reserves opening in Throne of Shadows

[headcasey]

Considering the odds, and factoring in for the number of possible worlds, timelines, dimensions, realms, and, to use one of your words, "canons," the probability of Prince Tristan finding a suitable mate which will both satisfy the Nysgod prerequisites, to say nothing of his mother's opinions, is so astonishingly staggering that it would be almost impossible to calculate the correct numbers.

[She pauses.]

But I did. It's not looking good...

(OOC: Game is Throne of Shadows, character is one of the NPCs)

Comments

[oregoniandionysus]

Not worried about the mother. I'm good with mothers. Mothers adore me.

What about these prerequisites, then?

[headcasey]

I think you may be a little bit premature when it comes to the assumption that the mother will automatically adore you, given the fact that you've never encountered the species before and you've never encountered the individual herself before and, for that matter, you probably aren't too familiar with matters of Nysgod decorum in a royal court, given the aforementioned fact that you haven't encountered the species before.

[She pauses to take a breath.]

Also, why would mothers adore you? Is there something innately adorable about you that attracts women who have given birth?

[oregoniandionysus]

[Well, aren't you just a bundle of laughs.]

I appeal to their maternal senses, yes. Something about a man who knows his way around a roast makes them want to scoop me up an introduce me to their daughters, poor things.

Anyway, isn't that what you're there for? Teach us the rules, get us all nice and integrated? Increase our chances?

[headcasey]

You sound as though you want to be Tristan's mate.

Which is not to say that there's anything innately wrong with Tristan but...

...well...you need to meet him first...probably...I understand that's how these things work...

[oregoniandionysus]

Oh, don't worry - I have every intention of being appropriately pissed off when it comes to the kidnapping. And if the chemistry's not there, it's just not there. Can't start a fire without a spark.

But, look. When you grow up in a world where people throw garbage on you while shouting 'faggot,' it makes you appreciate one where that sort of thing just doesn't happen because that sort of thing is just taken as a matter of course. And if I've got to be there, I'm gonna play the game.

So maybe I am jumping the sequence of events a bit here, but you're the one who started going on about prerequisites in the first place, so I figured I'd ask.

[headcasey]

Why would anyone call you a large bundle of sticks?

[oregoniandionysus]

See, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

Bet you haven't even got a word for it over there.

[headcasey]

A word for what? A large bundle of sticks? I think we've just established that there is a word for that.

[oregoniandionysus]

Never mind.

So about these prerequisites. Would I be expected to be the one carrying his children? 'Cause that's really the only downside I can see from here. Never thought much about having kids before, certainly never thought about being pregnant, but I can pretty much promise you I would be a terror.

[headcasey]

Nysgod society requires...a lot...of their potential mates. Certain...sacrifices...

[And she looks veeeery uncomfortable.]

[oregoniandionysus]

[Eyebrows?]

Okay, I'm listening.

[headcasey]

Not supposed to tell. If I tell, I'll scare away the potential mates.

[oregoniandionysus]

Something really bad, then. Check.

[Sigh.]

Suppose I'll find out sooner or later, once I'm there.

[headcasey]

I suppose one such sacrifice should be obvious. You would have to be a royal consort.

[oregoniandionysus]

I assumed that was implied, as a part of the whole 'marry the prince' deal.

[headcasey]

And you find the idea of being a royal consort...appealing?

[oregoniandionysus]

Why not? Is he hideous?

trololol

[hackreality]

Well... do you know what a facehugger is?

[oregoniandionysus]

Friend of mine used to talk about those kinds of movies all the time. Are you saying Nysgod children get born like those chest-bursting things? 'Cause was curious how it all worked with the pregnant men.

[hackreality]

Nope! But it would be funny, wouldn't it? Well, funny for everyone but the person getting chestbursted, probably. Awwwkward. I actually have no idea how it works. Anyway, he's way not my type, so I'm not planning on finding out.

[oregoniandionysus]

Hilarious. Everybody would be busting a gut.

Honestly, what I've heard about the other 'hopefuls' so far, I may just be the best candidate. But I'd like to know more about what's actually involved.

[hackreality]

Ba-dum-tssh!

But anyway, . People have clearly done it before, so it can't be completely objectionable, whatever's involved aside from the normal, but there's always a catch, isn't there?

[oregoniandionysus]

Always.

Guess I'll find out once I'm there... Perhaps it's better to build up a little suspense. Too much meta-knowledge isn't necessarily a good thing.

[hackreality]

Right, right. In these sorts of situations, you kinda want to be prepared for anything, anyway. Shit: it is probably going to get real in about seven different ways even the Powers that Be don't expect.

[oregoniandionysus]

If shit can find a way in which to get real, it most likely will.