voice test; canon: Hot Fuzz

[itsnotangle]

[There's a sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose.]

Really, mun, I should issue a formal grievance. This is certainly not funny by any means. I hadn't requested a transfer of any sort and I'm just now getting used to this country town. C'mon!

I don't suspect there hadn't been any murders, have there? It would be my luck.

Comments

/stylishly late

[manonmars]

They don't really listen to grievances. 'Muns' seem to have their own law, one outside of which someone with common sense would follow. And it's not one I appreciate either.

[itsnotangle]

No, not at all! All I wanted to do was stay in London, that's how all this started. Bloody rubbish, all of this.

[manonmars]

You think you'be got problems, mate. All I wanted to do was be in the right time, let alone the right place. Sometimes, shit just happens.

[itsnotangle]

Are you a police officer? You're acting like you know something.

[detective_fields]

If there's been a murder, I'm sure we could track down the killer, but the sorts of games we end up thrust into don't tend to involve a lot of crime solving of the more... traditional sort we're used to. There's always magic and werewolves and spacemen.

[itsnotangle]

What is this, some sort of fantasy movie? Don't tell me you're some sort of cultist, are you?

Had a little too much to drink, have we?

[detective_fields]

On the contrary, I never drink on duty. And while my mun has yet to put me into one of these 'games', I've seen enough in these sorts of casual forums to have an idea of what to expect.

I'm Detective Inspector Emmett Fields, Baltimore Police Department. Pleasure to add you to the list of strange people I've stumbled across here.

[itsnotangle]

[Now he feels a bit daft and he straightens up.]

Right, sorry Detective Inspector. Sgt. Nicholas Angel of the Stanford police.

...None of that sort exists, right? Werewolves?

[detective_fields]

Not where I'm from, but from what I understand, these 'games' sit between worlds and bring in all sorts from all different realities. Apparently, you can encounter things you can't even imagine and other people there will act like it's perfectly normal.

[itsnotangle]

...Have you ingested, injected, huffed or sniffed anything possibly illegal, mate? What are you on about?

[detective_fields]

Don't be obtuse, Sergeant. You're new to all of this. It would serve you well to heed the advice of those who've been dealing with it longer. Or would you prefer to be surprised by the things that go bump in the night suddenly stepping into the light?

sorry for slow tags

[itsnotangle]

Wha---!? [Breathe, Sergeant]

What you're implying is not possible. I mean... [He half laughs in disbelief.] You're worse than Danny.

No worries; I've had a crazy week too!

[detective_fields]

It's not possible where we come from. In other worlds and dimensions, apparently it is.


...Who is 'Danny'?

[itsnotangle]

Right... Other dimensions... [Because that totally makes more sense, as Nicholas sighs.]

He's a mate of mine. Fellow officer. He'd be bouncing off conspiracy theories with you if he was here.

[detective_fields]

He enjoys speculating about conspiracies, does he? Well, I'm not sure I'd call it one, but it can be unsettling.

[gymshoe_runner]

I'd rather there not any murders, if that's all the same to you.

[itsnotangle]

I just got done investigating a series of murders, deemed "accidents". I don't want to jump into another case if I can help it.

But I don't get to pick my next case, do I? Stay out of any funny business, miss.

[gymshoe_runner]

I do what I can.

[ Which is an outright lie - Kate's a budding master thief, using her ability to teleport to move product. Right now, it's just the occasional outfit, high end shoes, or prom dress. Mostly she steals food to survive, or books to read. ]

At least this place is pretty quite.

[itsnotangle]

[That's not something he would be pleased to hear. Expect a lecture if admitted!]

Quiet is good! Boring, admittedly, but good. No nonsense and less paperwork. [Although he honestly didn't mind it.]

[gymshoe_runner]

[ She's a street kid - she's not about to admit that to anyone, let alone someone who scream 'COP'. ]

Paperwork isn't something I really have to deal with.

[itsnotangle]

No, I'd suspect not. You're what? 18? You have the world ahead of you.

[He screamed COP and everything associated with it. Don't mind him!]

[gymshoe_runner]

Yes, eighteen.

[ No, more like just over sixteen but she won't admit that. ]

Hopefully a world without paperwork, I'm not fond.

[itsnotangle]

Hate to break it to ya, but not too many professions don't have paperwork. But never mind that, I suppose. Go to school, get an education, you know the whole lot...

[gymshoe_runner]

Which ones would those be, by chance? Not that college wouldn't be nice, but it's not for me.

[itsnotangle]

...Are you really asking me that?

[He resists telling her to do her own research. Right, now isn't the time to get frustrated at a teenager.]

Do should do what your interests in, anyway. [Politically correct reply is a go!]

[gymshoe_runner]

Yeah, I did.

[ High school drop out - and she can't even get a library card. No ID. ]

I like to read.

[ She just didn't want people able to find her. ]

[itsnotangle]

There you go - librarian. Or teacher.

[BOOM. Crisis solved.]

[gymshoe_runner]

I have my kid. I don't want to take care of other peoples.

Thought about being a librarian once, though.

[itsnotangle]

[Great. A kid with a kid. What was this world coming to?]

Yeah, so...

[He wasn't sure what to say in this situation, actually.]

You really should stick with it, y'know? If that's something you want to do. Provide a future for your kid...

[gymshoe_runner]

[ Yep. For all her mistakes and failings, she really is devoted to taking care of him though. ]

Yeah, you seen the cost of daycare lately? Or anything else? Try throwing tuition on top of that.

I'll figure something out. Always do.

[ Just...not legal things, most of the time. Hence the stealing. ]

[itsnotangle]

No... but I've heard enough complaints to have an idea of what it might cost. I don't have any children... Just a Japanese Peace Lily.

[Although sometimes he could consider his partner a child he had to babysit on occasion.]

[gymshoe_runner]

Mine's a newborn still.

[ And safely away, with one of the few she trusts. ]

What's special about the flower?

[itsnotangle]

[There's a shrug.]

It's aesthetically pleasing, doesn't complain, provides oxygen, what more could you ask for?

[gymshoe_runner]

I mean it sounds fussy. Like, needs a lot of care.

[itsnotangle]

Nooo, not one bit. It's a plant, so just the basics. Water, sun, an occasional trim. You're done. No mess; no fuss.

[gymshoe_runner]

That's good. I know someone who had orchids and those were a pain.

You have no idea how long I've been sitting on this.

[shesamarshmallow]

Ooooh, yes. Issue the grievance.

Do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt...





Uh, but do it in a second. I need to grab some popcorn.

haha, really?! I mean, you really have if you're just now replying <3

[itsnotangle]

Oi!? Who are you to order me around?

[What is this? A teenager looking to provoke him?]

Oh, did you not know I was a dork? I guess I should advertise that more!

[shesamarshmallow]

Name's Veronica Mars. Don't wear it out.

And I'm not really telling you to do it, more... strongly suggesting. I just like the fireworks.

So are you going to issue the grievance or what?

You should! EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

[itsnotangle]

I... haven't officially decided. See, it's not the paperwork that is bothersome, it's that it usually goes unnoticed. I don't expect to get attention for everything I do around here, but some actual results would be useful.

What do you know about this sort of thing anyway?

[shesamarshmallow]

Ah, yes. Paperwork. I'm actually very fond of paperwork. When pretending to be an FBI agent, it always helps to say you've read their papers and memos and such.

Oh. I mean... I don't know anything, I'm just a teenage girl?

[itsnotangle]

A teenage girl pretending to be FBI? Aren't you a little old for make believe? Or are you snooping around where you shouldn't be?

[Investigative work at it's best right here, folks!]

[shesamarshmallow]

[ Here, you go, Mr. Angle. A smile so sweet it could give you diabetes. ]

You're the detective. You tell me.