Voice-testing

[blackmarketsplinter]

'Ey. Shortie. How you doin'? You doin' alright? I hope so, cause I've got a lotta work to do, and I' don't wanna waste my time with yous.

You have any idea how hard my job is? Do ya? I have important calls to make back at the shop. I don't wanna miss any for that. I've got a big shipment comin' in for this, ah, 'group' of robots. And they wouldn't be very happy if I were to be late with their shipment of batteries, if you know what I'm sayin'. If I don't get 'em their order, well... I'll find myself in the bottom of a lake, ya know?

Hey, I'm not bein' mean at all. I'm just tellin' you about my priorities here.

[This robot has some business to take care of.]

I've gotta keep my customers happy after all. A happy customer means a fat wallet, am I right?

A'course I am.

Comments

[likesfreckles]

You might want to put old business plans on the back burner.

The only way to get a joint running around here is to start a new one in what the muns call "games" and "boxes".

[blackmarketsplinter]

[He waves his hand with a scoff.]

Nah, I don't think that's gonna work for me. I'm not cut out for these 'games' and 'boxes'.

[Splinter glances down at his claws.]

Got enough on my plate as is.

[aemilius]

What are you supposed to be?

[That's not how you say hello, you little shit.]

[blackmarketsplinter]

Now, that's no way to talk to someone.

[He crosses his arms and looks this other robot up and down.]

I'm a robot. Like you. Ya kook.

[likesfreckles]

I used to think that too. Now I'm gainfully employed under the table at the place I'm at.

It's not the Ritz... yet... but it's better than knocking around in the nothing out here. Which is where we're all stuck, otherwise.

[robotfightclub]

[Batteries.]

Great, what am I looking at?

[She can't handle this. Can't do it, no more, goodbye, she's dead. You killed her.

Okay, not really, but

batteries.]

[aemilius]

Sure it is. I just did it.

[BIG SMILE 8D]

Psh, like me? No way. No one's like me.

[... except Aelius.]

[salesmech]

You're going about it all wrong! You have the opportunity of a lifetime here, if you play things right. Take the lady at the keyboard here! We have a beautiful partnership. She scouts for opportunities, lays down the groundwork, and I seal the deal.

And as far as those customers who might not be so understanding of a change in business strategies, I've got a few things that might change their minds. For the right price, of course. But I'm sure I can offer a few discounts for a friend of a friend.

[glassyeyed]

Well, considering these muns aren't too talented in the listening department, I'd take it under advisement to look on the bright side here. Think of it as an exciting new business opportunity! Just think of the potential here, if only for a moment. The world is your Cloyster and all that jazz.

It's not often you see that kind of entrepreneurial spirit with muses, you know.

[blackmarketsplinter]

Why's everyone so interested in the way I look?

[WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WAY HE LOOKS?]

[blackmarketsplinter]

[At least there's someone who speaks his language.]

Oh? And what do you find yourself investin' your time in, hm?

[robotfightclub]

Not sure, maybe because it's not every day you see a toy talk business.

But that's just me.

[arcee stahp]

[Actually, she does stop for a second to tap her own eye real quick as if to make a point.]

You got some red right here.

[blackmarketsplinter]

[His spines rise in anger, a small growl rumbling in his throat. A toy?

But he calms, his eyes flickering back to blue.]

I'm not a toy. Far from it.

[He motions up to her.]

And what are you supposed ta be? A military bot or somethin'?

[blackmarketsplinter]

[Splinter rolls his optic.]

I mean we're bein's made of metal.

[aemilius]

[The grin doesn't fade.]

Right. And so are DECUs, but you don't see me saying I'm like them, do you?

[blackmarketsplinter]

I dunno about that.

I deal with... special orders.

[blackmarketsplinter]

Well you're a meaty... walkin' feline.

It's easy for you to find a job. Some of us are made for a specific job. And if we ain't good at it? We don't get far in life.

[blackmarketsplinter]

...Whatcha talkin' about exactly?

[aemilius]

Oh right. Universes.

Deep Excavation Capable Units. Big, dumb, slow, and ugly.

[blackmarketsplinter]

So splunkers, right? Interestin'.

A little too dirty for my tastes.

[aemilius]

Maybe. But DECU sounds better, sort of.

Tch, it's so gross. They get covered in uranium dust half the time, and who wants that?

[glassyeyed]

[A brief look of confusion, then a grin and an understanding nod.]

Right, right, I gotcha.

Trust me, whatever it is you're pushing, you'll find a market for it somewhere. Get all kinds around here.

[salesmech]

Right now, I've got my optics on an entrepreneurial enterprise in exotic tropical locales. Piracy's the name of the game, and I've got a great feeling about this. I mean, wooden ships against Cybertronian cannons? Not exactly a fair fight.

[likesfreckles]

One that pays beaucoup bucks for a special set of skills in a world full of "hyu-mahns" who do nothing but stare?

It's harder than you think.

[whitescalesbigmouth]

[You're a very unusual looking dragon, Has anyone ever told you that?]

Uh, Hi there!

[robotfightclub]

[It's good to have dreams.]

Yeah, you could say that.

So what are you actually supposed to be? I'm already outta guesses, go ahead and enlighten me.

[blackmarketsplinter]

At least you're welcomed in most places.

Look, I'm not lookin' to compare and contrast lives, kitty.

[blackmarketsplinter]

Uranium.

[His tail twitches.]

Hm. I'm sure some of my customers would like some of that.

[blackmarketsplinter]

I'm just a robot.

[WHAT'S NOT TO GET?]

Nothin' more, nothin' less.

[blackmarketsplinter]

Cybertrionian....?

[blackmarketsplinter]

[Oh look, another meaty. He blinks his optics at her.]

Hello.

[aemilius]

Yup. Human beings can't do it because poison or something.

Yeah, good luck with that! Mining corps don't just give it away, geez.

[blackmarketsplinter]

And what kind of market are ya into?

[blackmarketsplinter]

I'm sure I could find a few... vendors.

[He shrugs.]

I have plenty of connections in my line of work.

[glassyeyed]

Oh, you know. A little of this, a little of that.

Depends on what you're selling.

[likesfreckles]

Call me skeptic, but I doubt you'd have any trouble fitting into any place that's already exposed to the weird and inexplicable. Which is most of them.

It's Ivy, Ivy Pepper. Not kitty.

[aemilius]

Like anyone is gonna sell to an AI.

An independent one, too. No one likes unshackled AI who don't have a pilot.

[robotfightclub]

So...

[Hang on, she thinks she has it.]

A waste of metal.

[At least you can play with toys.]

[whitescalesbigmouth]

[She kneels down to get a better look at the odd robotic creature.]

...You're not like other dragons, are you?