on jokes taken too far

[despremiers]

... Interesting choices, mundane. If we exclude all petty jokes, that is.

I'm beginning to think that your kind takes things far too seriously. You can see how far that took my good old friend.

[ That's only slightly bitter. ]

Comments

[hallowedhorcrux]

Humor does have its limitations.

[despremiers]

My existence this very moment might be a joke in and of itself- but you've changed, ah, [ A moment's pause. Indecision. ] my Lord. Your sense of humour might have, too?

[hallowedhorcrux]

How so? (A pause while he examines the youth of the other.) I was unable to prevent this change. I do not mind it.

(A body - a useful body - is better than no body at all.)

My sense of humor is intact.

[despremiers]

Should I be here? Our generation was among the first, but everything's different now. Time didn't stop and I don't know whether to regard this mundane's interest in me as flattery or something else far more embarrassing.
But I am endlessly relieved to know your humour hasn't been skewered, Ri--

[ -- too close. Too close.

He scratches his cheek, taking in this new appearance of his and the question comes with a click of his tongue: ]

What caused it?

[hallowedhorcrux]

You will only know if you examine their thoughts. Their history should be quite telling and you are in a prime position to take it all in.

(The air grows colder at that near slip, though his expression doesn't change.)

I was propelled out of my body by a rebounding Killing Curse. It did not kill me, yet I lived for thirteen years as nothing more than a ghost.

[despremiers]

Some thoughts I could go well without, actually- but you are right and there is enough in this head to leave this one restless, once I put my mind to it. I imagine it's only fair.

[ Though his attention lies on the following answer, he pointedly, almost desperately does his best to ignore the coldness in the air. ]

I see. But, thirteen years? Ah- such a long time.

[ He chews the inside of his cheek for a short moment. ]

I would have done more for you, had it been possible for me. You must know this, of course. But tell me of your return. Would you tell me all that happened? For old time's sake.

[hallowedhorcrux]

Fair has nothing to do with it. (That restlessness he understands all too well.) Far too long. I was forced to inhabit various life forms. I began with serpents, who were easy enough to possess thanks to my Parseltongue ability and then I moved on to a Wizard. He proved to be an utter disappointment and I had to endure three long years before I was finally given this body.

(He flexes his pale fingers, his catlike eyes glowing ominously.)

You could have done nothing. There were those who were in the position to aid me and yet they did not. I punished them until I was certain of their loyalty again.

Then, I amassed an army and conquered the Ministry and Hogwarts. If it were not for the betrayal of one who I trusted above others, I would have succeeded in retaining my hold on the Magical and Muggle world.

I even possessed the Elder Wand for a time.

[despremiers]

[ He remains silent for as long as his Lord speaks, listening intently to the tales of times he could no longer witness. Mundanes and their imaginations work curiously; he had known of some of those events, but listening to the wizard himself telling them, well, you can imagine it is by far different. More meaningful somehow.

He mouths something at first - an attempt at proper words, no doubt, though they seem to fail him for the longest time and in the end he finds himself offering a sort of choked laugh, not in jest but rather in wonderment somehow. ]

So you did it then-- everything? Short-lived as it may have been, you had them under your rule.

There is no greater honour, my friend, than to have served you during my time.

[ Despite his tendency to push it with the familiarity - it's unintentional, really. He was young once. Younger, anyway.

His only regret is not being there to witness all those events with his very own eyes. ]

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

Would you be referring to me, Lestrange?

[despremiers]

Your deductive skills never cease to impress me, Riddle.

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

I do like to think I know you well. [Said lightly.] Why are you here? Does your Mundane have plans?

[despremiers]

I like to think you do, too.
Her plans are, verbatim, "memes and muse-boxes". I'm not so sure either of those are safe, but she guaranteed I would find familiar faces. And here we are.

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

Your needs might be attended to far easier in those venues, I'm told. [But the opposite is true too.] I do hope I come across you more often. Some of my other encounters have led to headaches.

[despremiers]

I've heard terrible things about those places from my prospective in-law. Something about "too many Muggles and blood traitors". [ There's a bit of a shrug there though, like it doesn't particularly faze him. ] But I am flattered that you would think our encounters wouldn't lead to yet another headache.

And it is good to see you, you know.

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

She would think so. I see far more possibilities in the masses, but it is painful to communicate with them. [Particularly when they already think negatively of him.] You have never been unpleasant to talk to.

Likewise.

[despremiers]

So there is some downside to it? If it helps, I think they must be daft to not listen to you.

[ Lestranges. The loyal pups in every generation apparently. ]

I consider that an honour, Riddle. I can only hope we will have many more conversations after this one in the near future.

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

As you would expect. Not everyone is informed. [Or willing to listen.] It seems my name is well-known to some and not in a positive way.

[Good boy.]

I don't see why not.

[despremiers]

[ With a chuckle: ] It would be, I suppose. Fortunately their opinion is in its majority irrelevant. As you said - not everyone is informed.

[ Yes good let him take that as a sign of undivided attention. Because you can never have too many deluded followers. ]

You mean that?

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

I shall have to be patient with them. [He nearly manages to look...forgiving.] I can't blame them for being ignorant.

[No one can. Deluded followers are the best.]

I do. I have missed the Common Room and the Dormitory.

[despremiers]

I cannot deny that is a good point. But what of the ones who refuse to learn? [ He has a few ideas of his own, but his tolerance is questionable sometimes.


But then he sounds delighted somehow. Kind of like a child. ]

We could arrange a meeting, if you would like? I miss those, too.

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

They will have to be handled in another manner. [Roughly if necessary.] Fear can be a useful tool.

[He smirks and holds out a hand.]

There is time enough for multiple meetings. I have some ideas that I don't care to tell anyone else.

[despremiers]

I have no doubt about that. Or how effectively you can instigate it.

[ He takes the hand offered to him with a firm grip, no hesitation. ]

You know I'm all ears.

[ Ears, eyes, everything. ]

[i_am_lord_voldemort]

I have no desire to work alone.

[His skin is cool, but his grip is strong. He will be keeping tabs on all of his followers no matter what.]

You are one of the few I can trust.

[despremiers]

[ His lips curve into a wide smirk, something between pride and glee. ]

You can trust me the most. [ A pathetic plea for attention. He doesn't change. ] I will work alongside you for as long as you allow me.