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[Alistair's smile is wide and joyous ]

Wait, you mean to tell me that you're taking me from Ferelden- in the middle of a Blight- and giving me over to unknown danger and possible death? Well, hurray! Yippee! Let me go ahead and cancel nearly all of my plans, aside from the premature death, because it simply can't get better than this!

Oh wait, yes it can.

It can get entirely better than this.

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Did you really have that many plans beyond battling darkspawn and most likely dying?

Look on the bright side. Certain death by something other than Darkspawn's bound to smell better.

What could be better than constantly waiting for the darkspawn to descend upon you in the night to offer heaping doses of death? What is your mundane thinking?

Oh, you know. See the world, stab people in it. That sort of thing. Maybe stop in between crises for a quick lunch at the pub.

There's something all...warm and fuzzy about knowing what is most likely to kill you in terrible ways, you know.

[ okay that gets a smile out of him. a smile under protest, however ]

And here I was just getting used to it, too. Now I'll have to find a whole new type of blood to coat myself in.

Don't forget the part where we sleep on rocks and only eat spoiled meat on a stick! That part's my favorite!

I hear dragon's all the fashion in Orlais. Though...Hm, that may have been Leliana's version of there, there now, come to think of it. It does stick to your armor, doesn't it?

And here I thought it was the heart-to-heart chats with Morrigan.

[That's awful, Amell.]

Leliana wearing a perfume made of a slayed beast? Shocking.

[ he sighs, punching the bridge of his nose ]

Just when things we're looking up for us, too. There goes the whole mess.

And by looking up, I mean no one had yet to be impaled or tortured.

Cheer up, Alistair. There's plenty of chances for us to be horribly dismembered out here, as well. Why, whole new and creative violent deaths may await us brave wardens in this realm of 'games.'

[This is why Elissa has to bribe her companions into loving her with gifts. This right here.]

Riiiiiiight. All those nights, sitting by the fire, listening to her plans of making orphans cry.

You have to give her points for creativity at the very least. She'll miss you, I hope you realise.

I do so love your pep talks, you know.

[ yeah he is going to need like three dolls- statuettes to feel approval again ]

'Games'? Is that what they're calling it? Why not just call the Blight a Carnival then. [ sadly: ] There's at least chocolate at carnivals.

Yes, I suspect she'll have to find some other man to torment endlessly with her shrieks and swoops.

Between you and me, I'd recommend Sten. Big fellow, Sten is.

[ he frowns ]

You don't think she exists elsewhere, do you? I'm not sure I have the stomach for multiples.

Well, I imagine they follow with the festival tradition of praying for death the morning after.

[Pause]

Or so they were in Highever, in any case.

[ he gives a slightly uncomfortable chuckle. Highever. Yeesh, sore subject to dance around here. Must tread lightly. Change the subject, Alistair. Change it! ]

You know, maybe it will be nice to...take a vacation. Maybe even. Oh, I don't know. Go shopping? People shop for fun, right? Not just for armorments?

Could you even imagine? He'd swat her like a fly.

[That's some genuine concern there, okay? It'd leave a mess, and she really doesn't want to clean that up.]

Actually, she probably does. My mundane's spotted her around once or twice. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Oh, trust me. I can imagine.

[ aaaand cue the 'Alistair just swallowed a lemon dunked in salt face' ]

And that was the coldest chill I've ever had down my spine, not even counting the primal magic I've had thrown at me left and right since we've started our little road trip.

So I've heard. I've even heard rumor of people going to taverns for entertainment rather than information gathering or hiding from opposing forces.

What? Entertainment? Next you'll tell me the Knight-Commander wears a skirt-!

Madness, to be sure. But these are mad times we live in, my friend. There's no telling what depths of depravity men may fall to.

[She could stand to be a bit more apologetic, but that face is just too funny.]

There, there. She isn't swooping about my little camp, if it's of any comfort to you.

Ah yes, the squandering of innocence. Can't be having too much of that, I think.

[ he smiles, and for a second the jest is gone from his face ]

I'm not sure what I'm going to do without...the camp. Things are going to be so...quiet without. Everyone. Maybe a little, oh, I don't know. Lonely.

Not counting Morrigan, of course.

[ but it's so manly and rugged and okay perhaps just a little pouty but you can't fault a man for reacting that way in the event of Morrigan]

Good, now we can finally rid ourselves of all this extra Blessed Water I was carrying around for protection. Maybe throw it in a stew? Or better yet, fingerpainting!

That you give her special mention doesn't do you any favors, you realize.

[Okay. Maybe it's time for a little mercy. Instead of insinuating he pays too much attention to the resident witch.]

But I take that you've a destination in mind, then?

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