(no subject)

[coolcubed]

Hm.

I guess you should do it if you really want to.

I wouldn't exactly complain about getting to be a superhero or anything. Actually, that's kind of a great side adventure, and not everybody gets to have those. I'll get a secret identity, a costume- maybe even a partner. Every Batman needs a Robin, like every Inspector needs a Constable. It brings previously untouchable plot ideas back into reach. Friendship dynamics, problems separating their personal lives from the professional, broadening audience appeal. People can usually relate to one partner or the other.

I'd probably have to put a lot of work into finding the right person in the first place, since I'd be all by myself.

Personally I don't see a lot of appeal in that, but everyone's entitled to their opinion. This can be my Batman Begins.

Comments

[aggressiveapathy]

If everyone loves Batman so much, why don't you gay marry him. That'd be a way better youtube channel.

[kegflipped]

You won't really have to look all that hard, you know.

[coolcubed]

...

That doesn't really make sense to me.

But a youtube channel about a bat-wedding still sounds cool. I'd subscribe to that.

[coolcubed]

Really? [ Well it is Troy and all. ]

That's a relief, I thought it was gonna be tough for a while there. She didn't say much about it.

[baggle]

You don't have have to be a superhero if you don't want to, Abed. You're fine the way you are.

[ don't let the man steal your identity, etc. ]

[aggressiveapathy]

You aren't in the City. Batman, Batman. It's like he invented vodka popsicles or kittens or something.

[kegflipped]

I'm already there, so... Yeah. Really.

You were here for a little bit... I mean you, me, and Annie. You guys left, though. I didn't. Shirley was here, too, but she left before I even got 'ported in.

[coolcubed]

Yeah, I know. But let's be serious: who doesn't want to be a superhero? You pretty much get to do whatever you want as long as it's in the name of justice. And you don't have to pay for collateral damages for some reason, which is good because those rack up really quickly. You'd think we all have to be Bruce Wayne to get away with it.

[coolcubed]

Oh. [ And the potential New York trip got ten times cooler. Go go gadget questions. ] Sorry. I probably shouldn't have assumed I'd be alone before I knew anything for sure. This mun is the worst commissioner I've ever had.

But now that I know I wouldn't have to hold auditions for a partner, I can take it off of my to-do list. What are your powers? What about me and Annie before we disappeared? Do you know what Shirley's were? What do you think of the Wonder Twins?

[coolcubed]

Nobody invented kittens. I wouldn't be surprised to hear if Batman drank enough to do vodka popsicles, but that's not really what makes him popular. He's sort of a symbol of utilizing your tragic backstory to become a cool vigilante with a utility belt that prepares you for anything.

And order in a world of senseless chaos and violence.

And people with really cool voices.

[kegflipped]

The world is my toolbox and everything around me is Perfect Room Temperature. Mine was pretty easy to figure out, though. You and Annie must've had something more complicated, because we never found anything that worked. I don't know about Shirley, either. And they're okay? I don't know if you mean, like, the guys from the Super Friends or if that's a suggestion...

I'm the Repairman. People keep thinking I'm gonna beat people to death.

[coolcubed]

Cool. Cool, cool, cool. I guess they wouldn't think you were there to start a porno like people would in a porno. I asked about the Wonder Twins because I'm trying to gauge your feelings on coordinated costumes and team power rings. [ And here is where his hand snaps up to point at you, Troy. ] The two of us would be a lot more interesting than them, of course. I'm pretty sure nobody would turn into a bucket of water.

[kegflipped]

Yeah, that guy drew the short straw on powers...

I mean, mine aren't all that cool or anything, but maybe you'll get something really neat!

[coolcubed]

The world is your toolbox, Troy. That's awesome. We could be prepared for anything. And we could be at the perfect level of room temperature comfort while we're at it. Not everybody gets to fly, but it's not always a bad thing.

[kegflipped]

Yeah? [ Beat. He'd try to say he never cries, but he kind of does a lot and Abed's already pointed that out. He'd kind of on the edge of it now, but in a good way. ] Thanks, man.

I really miss you. I hope you can make it, even if I did have to be the lame Wonder Twin.

[baggle]

That's Batman, right?

Well, as long as you fight for justice and social change, I'll support you. I mean, as a psychology major, I can't condone the creation of a second identity, but I can get behind vigilantism as an extreme form of protest.

[coolcubed]

Don't worry about it. We'll revamp. Better, faster, stronger. Twice the wonder. None of the creepy twins.

[coolcubed]

[ Britta, Britta. An unfortunate lack of knowledge. ] His alter ego is a millionaire. He's the richest man in Gotham. Sometimes I wonder how nobody realizes he's the only possible person in the city who could afford to be Batman, but then I think there's no reason to ruin the magic. It's working for him.

[ Hm. Afterthought: ] Oh, and I think I'd have the alternate identity thing under control this time. I can pick a superhero personality that doesn't want to cut off Jeff's arm. Actually, I think almost any superhero wouldn't want to do that. There's a reason Evil Abed is called evil. Plus Troy is gonna be there, so. [ That... obviously fixes everything? ]

[kegflipped]

I'm in. Never a question.

[coolcubed]

Yep. Never a question. [ BRING IT IN FOR A HAND THING, BRO. ] We'll probably have that exact same conversation if I make it in. Could get pretty meta.

[kegflipped]

[ Clap, clap! ] No problem, right? If there's anybody who can handle this place that isn't already a superhero, it's probably you.

[coolcubed]

I am pretty adaptable.

Everyone waits around to get called to be a superhero, and we get a chance to really do it. I bet I could make a great documentary out of it. Ooh, or superhero-sighting bingo. Crossover alliances. It'll be like that time the Ninja Turtles met the Power Rangers.

[bamboozled]

First, Batman Begins is the worst in the series. Second, who wouldn't want to be a superhero, and third, none of this is real anyway, so who cares what happens?

[coolcubed]

First, Batman Begins might be weak but it's relevant. In a world without Batman Begins, we wouldn't have the Dark Knight. It's both a build-up and a testing ground for some of the ideas that worked best in the sequel, and that makes it apply more to my situation. It's a start. Or was. Time's not that great for cohesiveness out here. If anybody said they didn't want to be a superhero they'd be lying, and third-- [ Hm. Let him stop to consider.

Totally pointing at you broski. ] Classic Winger approach. Nice. I hope that's been a useful coping tactic for you.

[bamboozled]

Coping tactic? Take a look around you, Abed. This can't be real!

[So no, it hasn't been going so well.]

1/2

[coolcubed]

[ He pauses to do just that. Benefit of the doubt and all. ]

[coolcubed]

[ ...nope, not seeing it. Poor Jeff. Not enough fantastical adventure under his belt. ]

But we're both here. That alone means that this is gonna get really meta, really fast. You turned into Keanu Reeves in the Matrix the second somebody made you a journal. This is no stop-motion Christmas special episode: we're outside the system now, Jeff. The fourth wall is nothing but a distant memory and the possibilities are limitless.

As long as they don't contradict our established traits without any explanation.

Sorry, I guess that means they're not really limitless. I got excited. [ Yeah it was really showing there, bro. ]

[bamboozled]

[More like zero fantastical adventure under his belt. Unless you count all that stuff at Greendale, which Jeff doesn't. He's just gonna raise an eyebrow at you.]

But I don't want to be Keanu Reeves in the Matrix. The Matrix is awful. [He holds up a hand.] Not the movie, the premise. Don't even start.

[coolcubed]

[ Headed off before the momentum could build up. Well-played. Rerouting... ]

It was the cleanest connection I could think of. The rules of reality have been subverted, almost anything is possible, and somebody in the scene isn't emotionally inflecting. I'd be Keanu if you didn't need a Morpheus right now. Or did you want headspace to be more like the Truman Show?

[bamboozled]

The Truman Show? Seriously? Do I look like someone who belongs in a Jim Carrey movie?

[coolcubed]

[ H m m. ]

Does anybody belong in a Jim Carrey movie? Obviously other than Jim Carrey himself.

hi I really love your abed I just thought you should know <33333

[bamboozled]

I don't know, Zooey Deschanel was in that one. Where he was an Elf. She had blonde hair?

adslfk thank you. i'm really loving your jeff!

[coolcubed]

No. You're thinking of Elf, with Will Ferrell. They did offer the part to Jim Carrey first though. He turned it down.