Commenting on the Mun fail

[handsomejack]

Ahahahahaha phew! Wow. Really? You just... thought you could get rid of me, huh? Kick me out of games because you can't let me be "menacing" enough? Not really my fault now is it? I mean, if it weren't for your idiotic life problems, and I don't know, you took a couple minutes to get your hand out of whatever bear trap you left it in to just devote like an hour to let my "voice" be heard, believe me.. I could've done more than enough damage. Would be nice if my Mun wasn't a complete fucking pansy. I'm just sayin'. Thought you'd be cool, because I mean.. Look who's livin' in your head space with his glorious mountain of kick-assery. You damn muns. Thinking you have a choice in silencing us. To be fair, you put me in some pretty craptacular settings where I had to not... like... kill bandit trash. HANDSOME JACK HERE, known murderer of bandit trash! Have we met?

With that said, was not totally impressed with the way you handled me. 'Thinking we ought to throw you into boot camp, precious.

Step one, put on that game you have so easily devoted hours of your day to. Step two, throw your stupid Vault Hunter character repeatedly into their doom. Kinda liking that midget eating Psycho one... what with him blowing himself up all the time. That just gives me the best chuckle ever. Step three, go... think about what you've done or something. So goddamn disappointed.

Now that you insisted on pulling me away from games, guess who gets to give you the best mind fucking torture ever? I'll give you a hint. His name's Jack. Turns out he's devilishly handsome too.

Comments

[shockjock]

[He's loud, complaining a lot, and utterly full of himself. She might be in love. Least he's entertaining!]

Chatty little pain in the neck, aren't ya?

[handsomejack]

Hey now. That's just insulting. I'm a "colossal pain in the ass", sweetheart. Nothing less.

[shockjock]

[She just shrugs and sighs at that.]

Typical male behavior. Always gotta say you're bigger'n you really are.

[Teasing and double meanings are in her nature. Like Jack and being an ass.]

What kinda games'd they send you to, anyway? Never known one to say no to a little fun.

[gh0sting]

Your ego really is infinite.

Even you’re not good enough for you.

This mun must know better.

[handsomejack]

Hm, I don't know. Maybe you ought to get to know me better before we decide to debate my size.

[He could suggest with the best of 'em, but moving on..]

You know, it's fun getting thrown into a world where I'm automatically labeled as a 'hero'. I mean, that I'm used to. Might even try to convince the mun to pull the stick outta their ass and give that one a go again. I was building some pretty serious business there.

The other place though-- things don't quite work out according to plan when a good handful of your worst enemies already set up shop and I can't kill 'em. Guess you can say I'm not really into being in a place I'm not in charge in or have no control... most of the time spent there was covering my tracks and trying to find out how to kill the bastards without it coming back to me-- which, let's fact it. Not my style. If I kill said "bastards" I want my goddamn name all over it.

[handsomejack]

Oh, why it isn't the philosophical jackass. How can I communicate in a way that makes sense to you? Hmm... [He clears his throat]

Hello, Assassin
Kindly trip and kill yourself
Saves me the trouble.

Ahh... crap. I can do better than that. I suck at haiku. Give me a minute.

[shockjock]

You? A hero?

You're either crazier'n you look, or the goody-goodies are finally gettin' interesting.

[handsomejack]

Well, I am pretty damn heroic.

'Course we have people that would disagree.

Those people can eat a dick.

[shockjock]

Where's the fun in bein' the good guy, though? Doesn't that moral crusade stuff get a little old?

[Which, really, is just complete confirmation that Livewire has no idea who Jack is, because really]

[handsomejack]

Not unless you're a good guy on your own terms. I love being a good guy. So what if a couple... thousand inbred gun toting dipshits get, I dunno, blown up or about a couple lead bullets shot into their faces? Y'all gotta set the ground work if you want to build up some progress in what was once a pathetic craphole. A dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

[shockjock]

Doesn't sound so "good" to me. Fun, but not "good."

[handsomejack]

Fun? Heh, well. I'm definitely that. But if you're just going to be another one of those "Aw, but murdering bandits are people too" types, I'm thinkin' I might just haveta shoot ya, pumpkin.

[shockjock]

Doesn't bother me. And if it does? I'll fry you so fast you won't even hear the sizzle.

[It's a very cheerfully delivered threat, that.]

[handsomejack]

Oh, shucks, that's pretty damn fast.

[His tone is one that's slightly condescending... but more flirtatious than anything else.]

I usually don't bother with beautiful snarky visions in blue that threaten me, but I guess I'm feeling daring. Jack. You are..?

[shockjock]

Livewire! Renowned mistress of the airwaves and hater of that pompous blue jerk, Superman.

[Yeah, that tone of voice went from playful to incredible contempt real fast. But she's right back to her usual self soon enough.]

And it ain't a threat, Jack. More of a...friendly advisory! I like to do my thing, you like to do yours. So, as long as you don't mess around with my daily dose of chaos and good-natured mayhem, I don't see why we can't get along.

[handsomejack]

Oh well you're just adorable. Yeah. We'll get along just fine.

Superman? Really? ...Awesome. Takes some balls to go up against the man of steel.

[This is Jack, totally believing you, Livewire.]

Then again, I've never taken a guy who wears his underwear outside of his clothes seriously.

[shockjock]

Every girl needs a hobby! Besides, the jerk nearly killed me. Twice! And I'm not one to let that kinda thing go unpunished.

[Jury's out on whether devoting every minute of your day to plotting someone's horrible murder counts as "a hobby," but hey, it counts in Gotham, right?]

No kidding. Got a feelin' Big Blue just got tired o' bein' asked "Boxers or Briefs?" an' reacted in the worst possible way.

[Not that her wardrobe is any less unusual. But while a skintight outfit with that kind of spectacular cleavage and a pair of thigh-highs says a lot of things, none of them are "I forgot how to dress myself."]

[handsomejack]

Nah, I believe the worst possible way would be just... going bare-assed to fight crime.