re: 3x01

[icouldbe]

Remember when all we had to worry about was Derek and dead bodies in the woods?

That was a good time. We should go back to that time, before I get hit in the face with a rabid mongoose.

Comments

[freezerburned]

[Nope, try as he might, Isaac can't really think of a time in his life when things didn't exponentially suck. So there's really no 'going back to then' for him. Sigh.]

Dead bodies in the woods still don't sound like a good time, you know.

[icouldbe]

I've lowered my standards for normalcy exponentially since befriending the Furry Friends of Beacon Hills, and when I say 'befriending', I really mean 'dragged into kicking and screaming against my will'.

But seeing as we're here, we should probably just accept the fact that our lives are stuck in the 'perma-suckage' setting and look forward to the fact that we're all eighteen and can now buy porn legally.

[freezerburned]

'Looking forward' implies not being dead by the next-

[Wait.]

You buy porn?

[What the fuck dude, that's what the free websites and incognito mode are for.]

[icouldbe]

No, but now I can. It's really empowering.

[But anyway -- ]

You need to stop getting your ass kicked by bitchy werewolves, dude.

[freezerburned]

[He frowns.]

Yeah, okay. You try being targeted by an entire pack of Alphas. At least I'm still alive.

[icouldbe]

I got my fair share of beatings last time we had a evil bad dude running around killing innocent people. I think I'm good for awhile.

[Grandpa Argent was a douche. -- is a douche.

Word is still out on whether or not that old geezer is still alive.]

The way I see it, we've got you, Scott, Derek, and wherever the fuck Peter "McDouche" Hale is, and that's about it. We're kind of down and out three werewolves [between Jackson, Erica, and Boyd] and the other side is way stronger and meaner and snarlier than ours. And with the Argents being all tighty-lippy about everything --

[Stiles shrugs.]

'Alive' is about all we can hope for, right?

[freezerburned]

Yeah, but I got his granddaughter stabbing me in the spine. I'm pretty sure we're at least even on that count.

[He sighs.]

Anyway, it seems like 'alive' is the best we can do for now. If we find Boyd and Erica, that'd be one thing, but... [Three betas and an alpha against five alphas. That's really going to go well.] ...anyway, I agree with Derek. You and Scott and whoever else you want to drag into this should just leave. The fighting's going to be bad enough as it is without your blood all over it.

[icouldbe]

Yeaaaaaaaah, see, there's a problem with that.

[Stiles holds up a finger, to indicate Isaac should listen carefully.]

Scott is gonna get himself involved in this entire disaster because that's just what he does, all independent beta against the world and stuff. If Scott's involved, Allison's gonna find a way to get involved, which means Lydia is going to get involved, which means I'm involved. Somehow.

[Pause.]

-- and you guys are all my friends too, sort of -- acquaintances, at least, so I guess I need to make sure you all don't die.

[freezerburned]

You're gonna have to take that up with Derek.

[Idly.]

He's pretty dead set against involving you guys again.

[Not that, you know, Isaac's future particularly matters.]

[icouldbe]

Who gives a shit what Derek thinks.

[Seriously.]

[freezerburned]

Well, there's the fact that he's the best chance we have against the pack.

[Isaac, you are so wrong, but hey.]

So yeah, I'm sort of inclined to listen to him.

[icouldbe]

Uh, no. Derek is a psychological hot mess of guilt because he involved all of us into this disaster in the first place by biting you idiots to save his own furry ass.

He has about as much idea of what to do as the rest of us, which is zilch, nada, squat. We're flying into this blind, but if your loyalty makes you feel better, then cling to it, but I'm pretty sure it's not gonna last past the sixth layer of Hell that our lives are about to become.

[freezerburned]

See, that's what really pisses me off about you.

[His tone goes a little grating.]

You act like you know better than everyone else, but you're floundering like the rest of us. At least we're trying to come up with something, and we're putting our necks on the line for it while you're screaming at birds and wasting your time in tattoo shops.

[icouldbe]

[Stiles doesn't look all that bothered by the accusations, but he does grit his teeth enough to make his jaw clench.]

I'm not a fan of inflating all of your egos and sense of wistful hope with anything but the truth. What am I supposed to do, lie and say everything is going to become magically better with the power of friendship? That's not how the real world works, buddy. People died last year even though we all held our breaths and crossed our fingers and really tried our best and the same thing is gonna happen again unless we wise up and get off our high horses and realize that we don't know jack shit.

The sooner we accept that we're the underdogs in this war that you people started, the faster we'll be able to regroup and figure out what to do. So if you want me to sit aside and kiss Derek Hale's ass, that's not gonna happen. But if you want me to research and approach the super shitty scenario for what it is, I can come up with something to do past 'let's put our faith in the idiot who started this in the first place'.

[freezerburned]

What- you think I'm some kind of blind optimist?

[They are never going to get along. Isaac frowns and shakes his head.]

I know people are going to die this time around. I know there's nothing I can do about it but try not to get killed. You think I don't know that any one of those alphas can rip through me? Do you think I have a choice but to train harder and hope that I don't meet any of them face to face?

You and your friends can still get out of here. If you want to be a hero and die for it, that's not my problem.

[Also, Isaac totally didn't start this war, okay. Hell, if he'd turned down Derek's offer, he's sure he would have died in that house anyway.]

[icouldbe]

I don't think you're a blind anything, I just think you're an idiot.

If you guys die, then we're going to die next. There's no middle ground here. I may as well throw my weight behind the team I want to win instead of just lying down on the floor and letting my intestines get ripped out.

[freezerburned]

Have it your way.

[God, see what they get for trying to be nice and not letting the humans get gutted. So much for martyrdom.]

Just... [A pause.] -look, if we die, then you have to make sure Scott gets out. Melissa will listen if he tells her what's coming.

[icouldbe]

Yeah, because Scott is really going to just walk away if you all die.

[Why are they even making these plans? They're just teenagers.

Oh, right, because like Stiles said, their lives suck, and the only one with half a brain is him.

Fuck.]

-- none of us are going to die if we just play it smart and figure out what they want.

[ofdrumsthesound]

With a what?

[freezerburned]

I know he won't want to. That's why you have to- [God this is stupid.] -just forget it.

Go research and plan. We'll see what happens.

[better]

Why are you worried about a mongoose? I'm sure there are worse things than that weird animal.

[icouldbe]

Yeah, like scary ass rabid werewolves from England, apparently.

[icouldbe]

We're not dead yet, right?

[He's just going to ignore the potential scenario Isaac just offered.]

[freezerburned]

They're only settling in.

[Is the response, gritted out through his teeth.]

It hasn't even started yet.

[better]

Do they have swanky accents?

[icouldbe]

I know that, genius, but for the rest of the crap we've been through, the fact that we're still alive is pretty damn impressive.

[This is Stiles trying to be optimistic.]

[icouldbe]

Is swanky synonymous for 'douchey'?

[better]

I don't think an accent can be douchey. A person can be, but not just their accent.

[freezerburned]

So? Do you want a medal or something?

[Cause optimism really isn't something that Isaac relates to. And he'd rather not die.]

[icouldbe]

A scholarship would be nice.

[icouldbe]

Wait until you meet this jackass.

Trust me -- he's both.

[freezerburned]

'Congratulations on not dying, please leave that hellhole immediately and come to our school'?

[better]

And you're the expert on this?