[Watching Soubi leave him a second time is even crueler than the first. The first time shock had stilled his system. His disbelief in the situation had hurt him, but talking to Soubi... He wasn't convincing Soubi of anything. Soubi wasn't coming back any sooner. He was keeping his distance. It made him sick to his stomach and he wanted to wretch. He could feel the tears start again. His body was trembling and his knees felt like they would give. If Soubi heard him over the mental link, he made no notion of it.
He wanted to ask why. If Soubi really only thought of it that way, there was so much that didn't make sense. Everything didn't make sense. His memories... his real memories tried to scramble to find the lies. If Soubi had been lying it would be there. It would be in his mind that unease at Soubi's actions. But the kisses, the hugs, the everything! How could it have been lies!
A sob escapes his lips and he can feel the tears drip down his cheeks. He feels abandoned and lonely all over again. His heart which had been trying to trust someone again was breaking. Adults couldn't be trusted.
No one could be trusted. If your own fighter could leave you, if your own brother could rip him from your grip and say that Soubi was never Ritsuka's to begin with...
But he couldn't hate Soubi.
He couldn't hate Seimei.
Some part of him whispered that this was why he was Loveless. Loveless didn't get a fighter. Loveless didn't get loved, why else would he be named that?
Was this his fault then? Was this somehow his fault like so much was?]
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He wanted to ask why. If Soubi really only thought of it that way, there was so much that didn't make sense. Everything didn't make sense. His memories... his real memories tried to scramble to find the lies. If Soubi had been lying it would be there. It would be in his mind that unease at Soubi's actions. But the kisses, the hugs, the everything! How could it have been lies!
A sob escapes his lips and he can feel the tears drip down his cheeks. He feels abandoned and lonely all over again. His heart which had been trying to trust someone again was breaking. Adults couldn't be trusted.
No one could be trusted. If your own fighter could leave you, if your own brother could rip him from your grip and say that Soubi was never Ritsuka's to begin with...
But he couldn't hate Soubi.
He couldn't hate Seimei.
Some part of him whispered that this was why he was Loveless. Loveless didn't get a fighter. Loveless didn't get loved, why else would he be named that?
Was this his fault then? Was this somehow his fault like so much was?]