As his mun finishes replaying the Lair of the Shadow Broker ...

[calibrates_big_guns]

So are you going to tell me what my dossier said, or am I just going to be left wondering why Shepard keeps smirking at me?

Comments

[akuze]

You could always ask her. I hear she's a damn good conversationalist. [ Ask Shepard, that is. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

You know, I think I heard something like that myself.

So. What was on my file?

[akuze]

Are you sure you want to know? The answer might Hurt You Deeper. [ The actual song is 'Hurt Me Deeper' but the play on words is still there. She's onto you and your hipster music, Garrus.

But it could be worse. He's damn lucky there wasn't any pun for Fire in the Courtyard, or they'd be discussing his rom-com soundtrack post-haste. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

... How the hell did he know what was on my playlist? [That's more than a little creepy.]

[akuze]

[ In all seriousness here: ] I'm pretty sure that's the least of your worries. [ A slight head-tilt as she meets his gaze. ] He also intercepted something from Helos. [ And she'll have you know that whichever incompetent piece of shit put together their communications security is getting a bullet in every joint he's got. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[He's behind you on that, but for now, he's just looking a little shocked, his mandibles twitching a little.]

I ... [He scratches the back of his head.] So I guess that means you know about mom then.

[akuze]

I was all for pretending I didn't, but you've got a right to know what he had on you. [ She shakes her head, straightening just a little. ] As long as it doesn't get in the way of the mission, that's all I need to know. [ She's running on the assumption that if he wanted her to know, she would've before she got her hands on the Dossier. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

Thanks, and don't worry, I'm focused. This is something that's been going on a while, and I've made my peace with it.

[akuze]

Glad to hear it. [ A pause, and then: ] But if anything comes up, you know where to find me. [ If there's something logistic that she can help with, some string she can pull. Or even just if it turns out that he wants to talk about it. Rumor's going around that she isn't so bad at that. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[He smiles slightly.]

Things are good for the moment, well, as good as they can be, but I appreciate that. I'll be sure to come to you.

[akuze]

[ Unfortunately for turians, 'smile' looks a lot like 'contemplate inter-species cannibalism' with the mandibles and the eyes and the mouth and all that, but he's served under her twice now and she definitely catches the point, even from such a slight gesture.

So she'll leave it there, for now. If he needs her help, he'll show up. If not, she's still got plenty of Reapers to fry. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Just be sure to leave a few for him. He wants to be able to tell his grandkids that grandpa took out a few reapers ... provided he ever has grandkids.]

[akuze]

[ Can it, Vakarian. There's no room for doubt. You're getting out of this alive, you and the rest of her crew. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Oh, he plans on living, you can be sure of that.]

[akuze]

[ And then we miss the entire point of this comm and have an entire conversation in brackets. ]

xP

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Well, he's never been one for the rules. Why start now?]

i'm just so amused

[akuze]

[ That's right, this is Archangel after all. He pretty much took one big 'fuck the police' rocket to the face. ]

This really is just brilliant.

[calibrates_big_guns]

[More of a 'Fuck the mercs' rocket, but whatever.]

i know. she also managed to dodge most of the 'your dossier was depressing' bullet

[akuze]

[ This was Omega. Mercs are the police. ]

Eeeyep, and good on her for it.

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Aria's crew is really the closest you'll get. They'll try to keep things somewhere in the broadest possible definition of 'civil', if only to keep Aria's business ventures secure. The mercs don't care if you kill or steal, as long as it isn't one of them getting killed or robbed.]

don't think for a second that she missed the 'unlikely to fully develop under Shepard's command' bit

[akuze]

[ That's Omega for you. Just between you and me, Shepard's pretty damn glad she got him off that rock. ]

Still, he'd almost rather be under her. There's the pressure of leadership, and after Omega ...

[calibrates_big_guns]

[He's not going to argue with you. After everything that happened, he needed out for more reasons than just his health.]

And that sounded a lot worse than it probably should've.

[akuze]

[ Leave it to Garrus to make her drag him out of a suicide stand. Gotta be honest, she can't say she was too happy with that. ]

Just a little bit, yeah.

[calibrates_big_guns]

[He wasn't exactly pleased to be in that situation himself.]

this thread is going nowhere but i can't seem to quit replying. ahaha

[akuze]

[ It's true. She'd apologize for that, if she thought it'd do any good. ]

I know haha. We should definitely play these two off each other elsewhere.

[calibrates_big_guns]

[She doesn't have anything to apologize for.]

PM me, we'll make things happen

[akuze]

[ Right, because her up and getting herself killed had nothing to do with it. ]

Yessss.

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Because she had total control over that.]

[akuze]

[ She did go back in to haul Joker's sorry ass out of the bridge. ]

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Yes. How dare you save his life, Shepard. You horrible human being.

He could not be more sarcastic right now.]

[akuze]

[ Krogan testicles: nature's built-in sarcasm reservoir. ]

I like to picture that Krogan testicles is a space equivalent of bullshit

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Pretty much. Unfortunately for the Krogans, they're not good for much else.]

sounds about right

[akuze]

[ Meanwhile, krogans were outlawed from the sport of baseball in most interspecies sports leagues. It's just not fair, to stroll into the game with a built-in 'walk'.

....

Y'know. Four balls...

Yeah, okay, my sense of humor's as bad as Shepard's, sue me. ]

Seriously

[tali_in_da_keelah]

...When does Shepard NOT smirk at you, Garrus?

What? I'm re-playing all the games!

[calibrates_big_guns]

... alright, Fair enough.