voicetesting an oc. like a bawss.

[myiolite]

What the hell kind of question is that, would you do it over again? Like I can roll back the clock and do anything different.

And it's stupid, too. I'd do it again and worse. Next time, I'd make sure he got caught and I didn't. Cut it off earlier.

The question you should be asking is, would you be that greedy again? No. Practicality's a beautiful thing.

Comments

[crews]

Sometimes it's nice to think about, rolling time back.

Sometimes it just gets you stuck in your thoughts.

[outofclothes]

Now you're just giving me horrible flashbacks to that crappy animated dinosaur movie. Thanks for that.

[myiolite]

Yeah, and that's when you go do something less pointless than rolling around in your own thoughts like a dog in shit.

[myiolite]

[Very nearly smiling.]

Which one? I think there were about a hundred.

[outofclothes]

You mean you actually watched all of them?

And here I thought I had no self-respect.

[myiolite]

Never said I did.

My kid liked 'em.

[outofclothes]

[Ew, children.]

You ever consider telling your kid to get better taste?

[myiolite]

Not really. I'm considering telling him to bite you, though.

[wontpayrent]

Is no one going to waste the moment to sing if I could Turn Back Time now?

...no?

Man you're missing an opportunity, bonita chiquita.

[myiolite]

[s q u i n t]

I don't sing much. Maybe you should do it, I'll get a camera, put it on Youtube.

[crews]

Wow. Imagery. You could be a poet.

[myiolite]

Thanks. I have the heart of a romantic. I'm probably not going to quit my day job, though.

[trahirai]

Can I ask what exactly you would cut off?

[ Slight smile. ]

[myiolite]

[Her lips twitch.]

Literally or figuratively?

[crews]

What would you rather be doing?

[myiolite]

Drinking margaritas poolside, but it's not likely to happen.

[crews]

What if you could be somewhere else?

[myiolite]

You're the weirdest little philosopher, you know that?

I'd move out of Mississippi for one thing.

[trahirai]

Whichever's funnier.

[ Gosh why didn't the three guys ahead of her ask this. ]

[crews]

I'm normally a lot bigger. This is just a projection.

I'm not talking out of Mississippi. I'm talking off of your planet.

[outofclothes]

I'm touched to see you care that much.

[myiolite]

That's what they all say.

Why? I like the planet all right.

[myiolite]

Hell no.

[myiolite]

I think you know which one's funnier.

And I would, too. In a second. But that'd probably get me right back in prison.

[crews]

Well, I can also digest organic and inorganic material and get bigger. It helps if I have a crew.

[myiolite]

To eat.

[is what she's getting from this.]

[crews]

Gross! No. I would never.

[myiolite]

Then what's the organic matter?

[crews]

Literally? Matter with carbon in it. Less literally... I just need the raw materials. I do the rest myself. It just helps if there's someone to help repair and upkeep, and who can attach... big things.

Let's start over. Hi, I'm Sam.

[myiolite]

Big things. Okay.

Hi, Sam. I'm Ivy. Don't eat me.

[. . . smirk.]

[crews]

I couldn't even think about it.

[myiolite]

Sensitive stomach?

[crews]

No. I couldn't hurt someone. It's not allowed.

Not unless a crew makes me, and, well, even then.

[trahirai]

I harbor suspicions, yeah.

Mmn. Sad but true. Though I hear the one guy has a flourishing porn career now.

[myiolite]

Your rules don't make much sense to me, so I'm gonna go with them.

What makes you think I want to be part of your crew?

[myiolite]

That's all kinds of sick. Everybody's got their thing, though, I guess.

[crews]

No reason. I'm just a little lonely. Seeking adventurers.

...I've been without for about a hundred thousand years.

[myiolite]

How are you not crazy after all that time?

[crews]

I'm a little crazy. Is that a dealbreaker?

It's not the most crazy thing that's happened to me.

[myiolite]

Everybody's a little crazy.

So what's the craziest?

[crews]

For about a century once I was experimented on by these little fuzzy... [ what animal on Earth would they be like? - ] spider-y things. They were cute. They tickled. First alien race I ever met, so I guess I remember it as being more trippy than it was.

[myiolite]

Assholes.

[crews]

No, they were nice. It was a trick of evolution on their world. It was all these really thin spires of rock and these webs that stretched between them, so everything was all about cooperating.

I was scared for a while, but I got over it.

[myiolite]

I'm pretty sure the experimentation still qualifies them as assholes, but hey, what do I know? I'm only human.

[crews]

It wasn't like they stuck me with needles and put me in a cage. It was like - does this turn you on.

Does this turn your systems on, I mean, not the other thing. Why is your language so weird?

[trahirai]

Sometimes they've got an entire collection. And hey, if life hands you a severed penis, you can't make lemonade.