reserved at havenrpg

[ranty]

So you're absolutely committed to this indiscretion. At the risk of squandering my time and energy, I do urge you to reconsider. A game that size might prove unwieldy for a mind as easily overwhelmed as yours, and I've better things to do than care for a drowning invalid.

Besides, the community of your choice is...how shall I put this? In addition to being pervaded by a sort of rustic gloom (with particular emphasis placed on the "rust"), the printed word is all but completely absent. Do you understand?

[ Pose - and pause - for effect. ]

No formal contracts! No written rrrrregulations! In short, no permanent testimony to the driving forces civilizing what pitiful survivors remain! Combine that with the sheer anarchic streak exemplified by the presence of unknown forces wreaking havoc, and you've nothing but a recipe for utter ruin! I'll have no part of it!

...besides, the housing encourages communal living. You couldn't possibly force me to....?

Comments

[forever_prince]

...Seriously? You've got your panties in a bunch over a lack of contracts?

[Scoff.]

The hell kind of demon are you supposed to be!?

[ranty]

I could offer the exact same query. Why, contracts are the bread and butter of civilized perdition!

[ Appraising you with a sniff, here. ]

For you to be this grossly misinformed...someone within our educational system appears to have neglected their duties. To say nothing of your vocabulary....

Begin by apologizing to a higher-rrranking officer, and I suppose we'll build up from there.

[forever_prince]

The Netherworld operates on Anarchy. Only the strong rule. Demons are supposed to thrive in chaos. Not... whatever it is you do.

[His eyebrow - and one hair-tennae - twitch at that last comment though.]

Higher ranking!? HIGHER RANKING!? You obviously have no idea just who I am!

[He puffs out his chest.]

I am the great and terrible Laharl, Supreme Overlord of the Netherworld! NOBODY OUTRANKS ME!

[ranty]

[ There is not a single word you just said that didn't insult the very core of her being. ]

So your case goes beyond a mere miscommunication. My apologies! In giving you the benefit of the doubt, I'd no idea you were simply a lunatic.

[ She does her best to loom impressively, as well, beginning to pace in circles around him. ]

Allow me at least to attempt your enlightenment. The strong do triumph, as you've observed - by imposing certain inflexible rrrules. To insinuate anything else - to advocate brute force when developing a hierarchy - and to drag the noble name of demons into this blasphemous muck -

[ Reaching into hammerspace her pocket, she tosses Laharl...a bar of soap. ]

I can't converse with such a filthy mouth any longer. Wash it immediately; then we'll proceed.

Sorry for the lateness. Midterms kicked my ass.

[forever_prince]

[Laharl watches the bar of soap land near his feet. He just stares for a long moment before rolling his eyes.]

Talk and insults are cheap. You want me to follow your stupid rules?

[He reaches into his own hammerspace pocket and pulls out a rather large sword with all sorts of demonic runes engraved on it.]

You'll have to beat me into submission first.

Not a problem! <3

[ranty]

You're correct on a single front, at least. Brutality's the only language your kind comprehends. What a pity.

[ She slips her hands down her sides slowly... ]

I'll have to engrave the lesson upon you physically, then.

[ ....and begins removing her underwear.

Two pairs, to be precise. ]

<3

[forever_prince]

[Laharl instantly recoils.]

The hell are you doing!?

[He takes a slight step backward.]

I dunno what kind of demon you are, but I don't go hopping in bed with anyone with a tail. ...Or that needs to wear two sets of undies.

[ranty]

Don't flatter yourself!

[ She twirls the panties around her fingers until they turn into revolvers. Because that makes so much sense. ]

These are the unholy arsenal of Gehenna's elite! Ideal for dispatching miscreants such as yourself.

[ Flipping the safeties off, she poses, pointing both barrels at you. ]

Any final requests? Apologies are welcome, if you sink to your knees!

[forever_prince]

Gehenna? That place Etna goes for picnics? Pffft. That place is so beneath me now.

[He levels his blade at Scanty, trying very hard to ignore the fact that she's using her underwear as guns.]

That's my line, you self-important conformist.

[ranty]

[ Hey, these are totally respectable gunderpants. She doesn't see what the issue is, here.

Not that she'd ever expect to fully follow your "logic". The moment people like you start making sense is the moment she'll put in sick leave for a personal day. ]

Hm. Irritating to the last.

[ Badass fight scene time. She opens fire. ]

[forever_prince]

[The issue? You're not wearing any underpants now. If he knocks you on your butt, he's going to have a view he didn't want.]

Again, my line.

[He swings horizontally, slicing the bullets out of the air before lunging, slashing upward. Badass fight scene indeed.]

[ranty]

[ Who the hell ever do you think she is?! In such cases, she always makes sure to pull down her skirt!

Not that this engagement will come to that, of course. Scanty backflips out of the way, keeping the guns trained on her target as you move. ]

Already exhausted your original material. Well, that level of ingenuity's about the limit I'd expect.

Shall I suggest some reputable copy-writers?