dear_mun | (no subject)

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canon: sherlock holmes

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Well. This seems like something of a thankless task, but given that I haven't the time or inclination to expend the disproportionate effort it would likely take to dissuade you, please do continue.

I only ask you not make a fool of the both of us. If not for your own sake, then for the sake of the security of my invitation to the garden party at Buckingham this year. The conduct of a certain individual I'm loathe to announce but whose name I'm certain you can take a decent guess at has left my welcome dangling on a tentative thread, and while I go about repairing that damage I'd appreciate no external factors lean in to tip the balance out of my favour.

I missed it last year, you see. Korea. You know.

Good luck, then.

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[Have Sherlock rolling his eyes.]

Are you still whinging about that? Why don't you go eat some cakes, I'm sure that will cheer you up.

Ah, a well directed blow to the diet. That took considerably less provocation than usual. I'll consider it a record, shall I?

Diet? I don't believe I mentioned a diet... in fact, the only one who said anything about 'diet' is you.

[No, Sherlock was making a rather pointed comment about the distinct lack of a diet.]

Perhaps that is something you should speak to John's therapist about. I'm sure she could help you.

I love parties, I could totally be your escort. Except not the cheesy hooker kind, but like the Pretty Woman style.

Well, except for the sex.

Yes, I'm sure she's appropriately awed and humbled by your desperate need for a cocktail party.

Given that the woman is mildly incompetent, I believe I'll refrain.

I might, perhaps, indulge in a cigarette however. [ :) :) :) ]

As kind an offer as that is, I'm not entirely sure Buckingham Palace is the best place for Pretty Woman style anything.

[Sherlock frowns, Mycroft knows full-well that Sherlock and John agreed Sherlock would quit smoking.]

Why don't you go start a war or something?

[He nearly winces. That was weak, he'll never admit it, but it was weak.]

Please. Garden party. The guests' choice of tipple, in this instance, is hardly relevant.

Erm. Wh-what about Korea, exactly?

[DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER WHO SHE IS, SHE MET YOU LIKE ONCE ON CHRISTMAS IN A MORGUE AND SHERLOCK WAS THERE and it was a bit awkward because it involved a dead woman on a slab and Sherlock recognized her from her naked body and it's all kind of seared in Molly's memory. But. Probably not yours, hi.]

[ if you'll dig at the gut, dear brother, i've no regrets in highlighting the ache in your lungs ]

What about the traffic?

I'll walk - walking is good exercise.

[Especially when Sherlock travels by rooftops.]

It requires, legwork, though - something you have no interest in.

[He can dish as well as he takes, brother dear.]

[ perhaps not personally, Molly, but any interest of my brother's is invariably an interest of mine. your name often comes in helpful smoothing away the uneven path left in the wake of his often unlawful forays into a scientific (and somewhat alarmingly recreational) approach to death.

cue frighteningly approachable manner. ]

Ah. [ Korea, was it? did I say Korea? silly me ] Nothing you need concern yourself with, Miss Hooper.

My level of interest for either is equal.

Which would place it precisely at absolute zero.

[ this is all very below the belt Sherlock but we're not done here not yet ]

No, quite right. I wouldn't wish to encroach on your territory. Your similarities to a sniffer dog much outweigh my own, it only makes sense you be the one to go for regular walks.

[ no alright this has probably definitely gone far enough, that was a childish and obvious jibe if ever there was one ]

Left wanting, Mr. Holmes?

That's the exact perfect place. You could be all fwooosh. you know?

Then it's really just as well you'll likely not be receiving an invitation any time in the fast approaching future.

That, Ms. Adler, remains entirely to be seen.

It does always seem that one must go about repairing the mistakes of another. It becomes tiring.

[ reasonably certain i know all too well ]

If anyone were to act as escort, I'm afraid it would likely be a requirement to leave any and all fwooshing outside the gates.

I don't know. There's a charm to it, sometimes - when you've never any of your own errors to patch up, it pays to have some way to busy one's hands.

Spoken precisely like someone with something to hide.

On the contrary, spoken as a man unable to always see through walls. The future, as often as I've usually a fairly firm grip on the nature of its unraveling, does as always remain to be seen.

Buckingham is lovely...well, depending on when you go.

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